Epilog silam – haikal

Dalam mengenang kisah hidup silam
Ku sedar dari kesilapan lalu
Tuhan beratnya dosa-dosaku
Masihkah ada ampunan buatku

Tuhan...
Dalam menempuh hidup ini
Banyaknya dugaan datang menguji
Tuhan...
Ada yang dapatku gagahi
Dan ada yang gagal kuhindari

Tuhan...
Dosaku menggunung tinggi
Tapi taubatku tak kutepati
Tuhan...
Rahmat-Mu melangit luas
Terlalu sedikit kubersyukur

Kini kukembali pada-Mu
Mengharap maghfirah dari-Mu
Mogakan terampunlah dosa-dosaku
Biarpun ujian melanda
Ku tetap berkasih pada-Mu
Kerna kuyakin kasih-Mu
Kekal tiada sudahnya...

i really like this song.. hayati~~~laa the lyrics of the song.. really menyentuh hati..:D

Manchester's Malaysian nite..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

first of all.. i wld like to apologise to anyone.. if u read this entry.. will hurt u.. n give bad impression to ppl like.. it's not that i wanna jugde u from wut u did or do.. but this is all..100% my own opinion.. wit wut i believe.. n i want ppl around me notice wut r the consequences behind wut u did or do..:D ehehehheh cam formal lak gaye nye.. xdek ar.. lepak ar..

2nite.. mssm will held an annual activity.. like those previous yrs.. Malaysian nite.. well.. x salah if we wanna njoy ourselves.. wit frens.. n i agree that this is a great opportunity that we can meet our 'lost frens'.. ahahahhaa n also a great opportunity that we wanna show how our lifestyle.. how our culture.. to 'outside world'.. tp niat x menghalalkan care.. n we(islam) hav our own way utk berhibur.. islam doesnt forbide Muslims njoying ourselves.. but not too much.. we already know that.. in all things.. all fields.. kalo melampau or terlebih.. bring bad things back to us.. things happen in front of our eyes.. rite? ermm for example.. if 'we' smoke too much.. bad for our lungs.. if we eat too much.. we'll get obbesiti+other diseases.. plus many more.. u may say that wut u do or did.. x dikire melampau.. but there's no limit to our hawa'(nafsu).. nafsu kite x meletakkan any scale to how much we can njoy.. (tmbhn lak mende yg kite buat tu.. meng'excited'kan nafsu tu sendiri.. ) na'uzubillah himinzalik..

Allah put human on a very high level.. among His makhluk.. so dont lower ourselves.. to the level that He dont wanna bring us back.. Allah loves us very much.. till that in one of hadith says that.. Allah will always forgives till we get tired of making bad things.. tapi nak ke kite jd makhluk Allah yg x bersyukur ngan sume bende yg Allah kasi??.. Izrail will visits us 70 times a day.. in 'chances' that he will takes our life away.. but he once says.." aku hairan melihat manusia.. aku menjenguknya 70 kali sehari.. dgn kemungkinan akan mencabut nyawanya.. tp dier masih tersenyum.. bergelak ketawa.."

ape yg kite buat salah ngan mesian nite tu? melihat perempuan2 dgn nafsu sudah trg2an salah.. i'm not ere to judge.. but in al-Quran.. clearly stated.. "la taqrabuz zina.." ramai org tau ayat nih.. but how many ppl will realize that there's heavy meaning behind it.. (tp saye rase ayat tu sudah jelas2 sejelasnye..) can u imagine.. kite dilarang memakai perfume yg berkemungkinan meng'excited'kan org laki.. tu pon dose nye kite dikire berzina dgnnya... apetah lagi.. performing some art stuff in front of ppl bukn mahram.. bukn shj in front of muslims.. but non-muslims also.. those things will give impressions that.. this is our lifestyle.. this is our culture...

ppl.. look back to our own history.. if not us who will bring back our tamadun.. who else? our tamadun is soooo great.. till org puteh pon tiru pakai jubah mase grad.. bile lagi kite nk buat good deeds kalo bukn skrg? we may say that.. " ermm.. lepas nih la.." or "hidup masih pnjg.. lepas ni kite tobat ar..Allah Maha Pengampun n Maha Penyanyang.." but we hav to remember Allah also Maha Adil.. Allah will judges human on wut they did.. not only bcoz we r muslims.. astaghfirullah hal 'azim..

badan kite sehat.. tp sehat badan inilah yg kite bawe ke arah kemusnahannye.. nafsu kite degil.. tapi disebabkan nafsu yg degil inilah Allah letak kite lebih tinggi drpd malaikat.. hati kite lembut... tp disebabkan kelembutan itulah ia mampu dipengaruhi.. salamz..

dont know anymore..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i dont know anymore.. remember dat i wrote in one of the entries afew days ago.. i wrote that i wanna get married.. well.. hmmm...i dont know anymore.. i hav d desire bcoz of a few reasons.. n now certains reason...but not all.. not relevant anymore.. uhuhuhuhu camne ek.. uhuhuhuu i dont know wut to do anymore..

it's not that i wanna get married that badly.. it's juz i cant find other way to solve my things.. but since a few days ago.. some of the reasons(prob) hav been solved.. if another prob solved..i dont hav any reason y i shld get married.. b4 i even think of dont wanna get married.. dont know y.. uhuhuhuhuuhu i cant think bout this anymore..

i ask my bro.. that is it ok for me to get married early.. he said that now there r girlz that get married late.. bout 28/29.. huh.. there's a hadith.. i dont remember d exact sentence.. but its bout a gud woman is scaled in 3 things.. get married early.. has many children(but someone told me that it's hav child in early age) n low in 'mas kawen'.. hmmm... huh.. xnk ckp psl nih dah.. i think dis is d answer for my prob..(this marriage thingy..mayb i juz get carried away..:D)

for those who r really wanna c me get married early.. sorry!! i think i'll b one of ur fren that get married late.. ahahahha dont know y but i feel that it'll b like dat.. :p

wokeh la.. wanna do some revision b4 went to bed.. lub u fillah..

Mangse yg bersalah krn terlalu comel~~

Wanted!! perogol bersiri..

Gubra..salah satu tanda dunia menghampiri di hujung usia

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i juz got back from howarth st's house.. when i found out that there were so many ppl forwarding a link to blog.. ermmm faisal tehrani's.. bout a new film juz produced in Malaysia.. uhuhuhuhuu sedih giler wooo.. the film is a product from Yasmin Ahmad.. i dont know.. whether she juz wanna produce a film dat really a 'good' film n said dat.. will membuke mate masyarakat.. or juz wanna 'melariskan filem maka mencari ape yg masyarakat suke'.. i read somewhere.. said dat.. lebih sng menarik masyarakat menggunakan mungkar.. now it's proven rite? iskk... x best ar nk kutuk gune English nih.. wokehh..

saye mmg x tau ape niat or tujuan sbenar pencipta filem tu.. but tu adalah salah satu care nk menarik masyarakat ke arah suatu mende.. mmg la manusia nih fitrah nye ke arah kebaikan.. tp fitrah manusia juga cenderong ke arah keseronokan.. uhuhuhuhu.. "Menurut pengarah dan penulis filem ini, Yasmin Ahmad: Saya mahu paparkan tentang kisah dan sikap manusia yang biasanya selalu berada dalam keadaan gubra. Kerana gubra ramai di antara kita tidak reti untuk menghargai kasih sayang. Selain itu, mesej yang ingin saya sampaikan melalui Gubra ialah tentang kemaafan (Utusan Malaysia, 9 Ogos 2005)." dis i quote from faisal tehrani's blog.. from wut i read in his blog.. penerbit filem nih nk menayang filem or nk menyedarkan masyarakat.. bhw from her(YAsmin Ahmad) point of view... nih la masyarakat ISLAM skrg.. krn pelakon2 dlm filem tu trg2an beragama Islam dan dikehendaki melakonkan watak org Islam.. Astaghfirullah hal 'azim.. really du'a to God dat.. give her guidance n give her.. hidayah n forgiveness.. antara perkara yg amat menyeleweng drpd Islam.. adalah Bilal Li menyentuh anjing sebelum azan.. mmg ada mazhab yg mengatakan dibolehkan menyentuh anjing.. tp kalo dah sesaje cam tu.. x ke tu cume memuaskan kehendak diri.. kehendak hawa nafsu.. satu lagi.. yg si pelakon tu pegi sentuh atas arahan YAsmin Ahmad tu ape hal?? ade dalil yg menyentuh psl x boleh menyentuh anjing.. n dalil tu dtg nye drpd Allah.. our MIGHTY GOD.. apebile seseorg tu melakukan sesuatu atas arahan sesorg.. mendahulukan atau mementingkan perintah manusia itu berbndg perintah Allah.. makan itu sudah dikire mempertuhankan org itu.. ape igt Yasmin Ahmad tu ur god???? isk... geram giler..

saye mule bace blog tu dgn hati yg amat lembut.. ngan fikiran sedar bhw arus ini.. kejahilan sebegini biase di kalangan masyarakat Islam skrg.. terutame di Malaysia.. tp hati saye ttp terkejut dgn isi kdgn filem tu... ape yg lebih mengejutkan saye.. penerbit nye ISLAM... berbintikan Ahmad.. huh... kalo org bukn Islam yg menerbitkan filem sebegitu.. saye x kan terkejut sebegini krn mereka x blaja psl Islam.. mereka x paham psl Islam.. tp sbenarnye mereka(org bukn Islam tu..) lebih menghormati Islam jauh berbndg org yg mencetuskan idea filem ini dan juga org yg menerbitkan filem ni.. termasukla skali org yg berlakon.. krew2 sume la.. sbg org Islam.. apabile berlaku kemungkaran depan mate kite.. septtnye kite cegah.. sebgimane kite tau.. 3 peringkat tu.. tp 'org2' tu.. bukn setakat x cegah.. malah turut 'menjayekan' penerbitan filem tersebut.. saye rase hancur berderai hati saye bile membace beginilah realiti masyarakat skrg..

dlm hati saye berdoa dibukakan hati org2 yg terlibat.. amat berharap filem itu diharamkan.. diberi hidayah kpd mereka.. diampunkan dosa2 mereka.. *sedih inilah saudaraku.. dlm kegelapan.. terkapai2 mencari cahaye.. sehingga tersungkur jauh..ditambah pule dgn kesunyian hati yg digoda oleh musuh manusia sendiri*.. uhuhuhuuuhuh..

saya amat suke satu ayat drpd faisal tehrani..

"Kalau tak reti agama jangan syarahkan agama dalam filem.Jangan rosakkan orang."

amat pedas.. tp kalo kulit x terkupas.. malah amat tebal lak tu.. xkan sampai msg nye.. ni lah tugas umat Islam skrg.. ade satu pendpt drpd faisal tehrani dlm blog nye.. dier kate amar ma'ruf nahi mungkar tu ade pendpt kate tu fardhu 'ain.. dan ade kate fardhu kifayah.. fardhu 'ain tu kite mmg wajib.. so kite wajib la kene buat.. tp kalo fardhu kifayah.. kite skrg dah jatuh hukum wajib ke atas kite.. nape? sbb nye objective nye x tercapai lagi.. cnth nye kalau uruskan jenazah.. bg suatu kwsn.. kalo x dek sorg pon yg uruskan jenazah tu.. maka jatuh berdosa pd seluruh kwsn tu kan..n kalo ade wpon sorg yg buat.. terselamatla org2 tu.. tp kalo sorg tu buat tp x terdaya menyempurnakan nye.. still org2 yg terlibat berdosa.. kalo jenazah tu x disempurnakan objective nye.. maka jatuh la dosa pd org yg terlibat.. so same la ngan hal amar ma'ruf nahi mungkar tu.. kalo objective nye x disempurnakan lagi.. maka jatuh berdosa pd org yg terlibat.. sape yg terlibat?? kite la.. org Islam.. x nk terlibat ke? tu bukn org Mukmin.. (sbenarnye boleh dikatakan bukn org Islam.. tp saye x nk la keras kat sini..) sbb ade dlm satu hadis sahih Rasulullah.. saye x igt camne ayat btol dier.. tp Rasulullah S.A.W ade kate kalau seseorg Islam itu x mengambil tahu hal saudaranye.. maka dier bukn drpd kalangan mereka(umat Islam)..

Subhanallah.. hal ni btol2 buat saye sedar.. dunie nih hampir kiamat.. saye ade dgr seorg ustaz kate... ade hadis sahih Rasulullah kate.. umat Islam akan naik 3 kali.. memule saye igt tu psl yg tamadun Islam.. kan dlm sejarah Islam dah naik 2 kali kan.. so saye igt kiamat akan berlaku lepas kebangkitan Islam kali ke-3 tu.. so saye pk saye perlu berusahe.. mencapai kegemilangan Islam yg ke-3 tu.. supaye saye ade saham saye ke arah tu.. sementare saye masih ade kat dunie nih lagi.. tp sbenarnye.. 3 kali naik tu adalah psl qualiti umat Islam.. bukn nye dr segi tamadun.. bile saye dgr psl tu.. hati saye mcm ade satu lubang yg sgt besar.. mcm mane kite nk ukur qualiti umat Islam.. kite x nmpk iman seseorg tu camne.. hanya Allah S.W.T je yg tahu.. so kiamat tu dah bleh berlaku anytime from now on.. boleh jadi esok.. boleh jadi mlm nih.. amat seram!!! kite kate "bile tue sket la baru kite beribadat lebih sket.." "hidup bahagie camni pon dah bleh masuk syurge".. tp sedarkah umat Islam skrg.. tanggungjwb kite.. amanah Allah pd kite.. janji kite pd Allah masih x tercapai lagi.. camne nk ngadap Raja Seluruh Alam?

i think dis is enuf for this time..(tp btol2 rase x pueh hati lagi..) really hope dat Allah will permudahkan segale urusan ke arah jln kebaikan.. ok..really hav to stop ere.. nnt meleret lak.. ehehhe k
wassalam..

things wont always go ur way..

Assalamualaikum wrt.. sbenarnye this matter terlintas kat pkran saye about 2 days ago.. but i didnt get any chance to write it up.. ehehehe i watched goong.. ermm the other name is the imperial palace.. uhuhuhuhuh.. it saud dat the story is actually based from its manga.. so i looked up in the internet..n found out that.. the drama doesnt follow the exact story line from the manga.. n i like the manga better..eheheheh my point is.. in the manga.. the prince doesnt wanna be the prince.. the previous king's son wanna b the prince.. but the royal family wanna the current prince to take the post.. things wont always go wit wut u planned.. i knew bout this.. it's written in al-Quran n i believe ppl know bout this 2.. but there's always something behind wut happen.. i get really sad bout this.. it's also scares me.. i always think bout wut we plan 2day.. sometimes we r really sure that it would happen.. but we dont hav any right to decide dat.. ade ayat Quran says that.. kamu merancang tapi igtlah Allah adalah sebaik2 perancang.. at first i juz understand wut it's mean juz like dat.. knowing dat we plan everyday.. n Allah's plan will happen.. not our plan.. juz dat.. but witnessing wut happen in front of my eyes.. uhhuhuhu actually i wanna write more.. but my mind juz goes blank.. i know i got more to write but.. ahh.. mayb next time.. genki dene~~.. c ya.. jzkk

cinta seorg isteri kpd Manusia Agung

Sambil berdiri di kubur Nabi s.a.w. isteri beliau tercinta Aisyah pun berkata, bersenandung dengan suara terharu :

Wahai orang yang tidak pernah memakai sutera,

yang tak pernah tidur di atas kasur yang empuk,

Wahai orang yang keluar dari dunia
dan perutnya tidak pernah kenyang dengan roti gandum,

Wahai orang yang memilih tikar untuk tempat tidur,

Wahai orang yang tidak tidur sepanjang malam
(karena lamanya melaksanakan qiyamul lail)

karena takut sentuhan neraka Sa'ir........

(Usman bin Hasan bin Ahmad Syakir, Durratun Nasihin, hal. 56-61)

dilemma..uhuhuhuuh

Assalamualaikum wrt..uhuhuhuhuuhhu i'll expose everything ere in dis blog.. i know dat ppl dat i dont know might read it.. but..... i dont know who i should confide dis thing.. i talk to a few ppl.. but i dont know whether they understand.. i'm not saying dat they dont understand wut i told them.. but they dont understand how i feel n wut i'm going thru..

first thing!! jgn terkejut ekkk.. dis is a new thing for me.. whole new thing!! a new world.. i wanna get married.. uhuhuhuhuhu terkejut x?? :p when it is started? hermm... well.. b4 acteli i really dont care bout this marriage thing.. i even terpk xnak kawen lak..eheheh but sjk kebelakangan nih.. emmm.. all d girlz talk bout is this thing.. i feel like i had enter a new world.. dat i dont belong to.. hmm.. uhuhuhuhuu i dont like such feeling.. ermm i dont care such thing.. sampaikan i dont care(bukn nk kate dont care... tp ok jek la..) if my husband(in d future la..:p) kawen lain.. ehehhehe.. there r a few reason y i wanna get married.. n i havnt tell my parents yet.. d first one to know is Along(my housemate la.. not my bro)

My first bro will get engaged this summer.. n he's confiding me bout his prob.. n his prob bukn mende remeh.. really2.. then.. for my second bro.. my parents had arrange someone for him.. but i dont know wut is his reaction.. among our siblings..he's d first one yg couple.. well.. he's kinda famous among his fren.. huhuuhuh n he got such a cute gf.. n wut i know they already broke up.. waaa... such a waste.. coz she got wut my mom lookin' for.. ehehehehe.. n my mom already give permission for me to couple.. but u know.. i dont like such thing.. ermmm how to say dis.. kalo borak ngan my parents.. we nvr talk bout this thing.. i'm the oldest daughter.. i know d responsibility dat i hav to carry.. waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.. really.. this is a whole new thing to me.. ppl always said.. dat if a girl doesnt hav bf.. either she's not interested or she feel insecure if she get a bf.. well.. i think i choose the second one.. y? hmm.. how to say dis?.. we all need love.. either to be loved or to love someone.. n huhhh.. i dont know how to explain this.. wut i know is.. kat dunie nih.. xdek mende pon yg kekal.. n dat includes love btw human.. hmm.. or i juz not interested??.. iuhuhuuuhuhu confused2..

talking bout to be loved n to love someone.. i juz read a manga.. waaa... dah lame x ckp psl manga.. ehehhehe.. there is a guy who's in trouble.. n he has a gf.. he's been deceiving his gf.. by not showing his true self.. his gf dont care.. ermm i mean.. dier x kesah bout dat.. coz how's been living his life so far.. is part of him rite? n she loves him for that.. he deceives her coz he thout she will hates him for that.. one thing he know for sure.. the root of his prob is he juz wanna be loved by someone.. when he found such a girl that he comfortable to be wit.. he becomes possesive.. so when the girl knows bout his prob.. she tries to help him.. but he doesnt wanna accept.. he know that he juz wanna be loved by someone.. but he feel something is missing.. that's going him mad sampaikan dier push her away.. but to one point that she mde him realizes that he also wanna love someone.. not only to be love by someone.. he doesnt know where to put all his love.. uhuhuhuh.. mende2 cam tu pon bleh buat m'sia giler kan.. uhuuhuuhuh.. one thing i got from ere.. to love someone is greater than to be loved.. ermm.. i feel that's true.. but i think there r ppl who wont agree.. ahhh.. dont wanna talk bout this anymore..

one more reason y i wanna get married is bcoz.. ermm coz saye takut saye buat maksiat.. bukan setakat maksiat hati..n mate.. some ppl may understand wut i'm going thru.. uhuhuhuhuuh.. n sometimes saye perlukan some push.. ermm camne ek.. kite kalo nk buat mende baik.. ade peringkat2 dier.. saye ade niat.. saye ade motivasi.. someone told me that i'm good in muhasabah diri.. but something's need to be trigger in me.. uhuhuhuuhuh too much al-hawa' n nafsu.. so i think if someone who always by my side.. someone lives wit me.. can n will does dat for me.. uhuuhuh dats d biggest reason y i wanna get married.. ermm cnth nye la kan.. cam bgn solat subuh awal.. if i'm alone in dis room.. kalo subuh tu kol 4.. (ikut waktu skrg..ehehehe) n sunrise kol 6.. saye akan bgn subuh kol 530.. uhuhuhu.. but if saye kene kejut org..saye akan bgn awal..(insyaAllah..) so saye rase maqasid nye lebih besar...uhuhuuhhuhu camne nih?????????? someone told me dat.. d biggest 'bump' in d process..is get permission from parents.. n i havnt try dat yet.. ehehhehe waiting for my mom to call.. coz my phone has been barred.. coz miscommunication.. n technical prob.. eheheheh

ehh.. pnjg giler entry kali nih.. but for 11 ppl(u know who u r) plzzz help me.. mayb ur reason will help me..huhuhuhuh.. wokeh la i'll write more next time.. see ya.. salamz..

Segenggam tabah - in-team

i really like dis song.. after along n kak mum say that dis is a gud song.. ermm at first i wasnt interested..coz.. it's from in-team.. but try it!!! its gud..

Bertali arus dugaan tiba
Menakung sebak airmata
Namun tak pernah pun setitis
Gugur berderai di pipi
Tidak ditempah hidup sengsara
Suratan nasib yang melanda
Menongkah badai bergelora
Diredah bersendirian
Bagaikan camar pulang senja
Patah sayapnya tetap terbang jua
Sekadar secicip rezeki
Buat yang sedang rindu menanti
Segenggam tabah dipertahankan
Buat bekalan di perjalanan
Kau bebat luka yang berdarah
Kau balut hati yang calar

Telah tertulis suratan nasibmu
Derita buatmu ada hikmahnya
Terlukis senyum di bibir lesu
Tak siapa tahu hatimu
Biarpun keruh air di hulu
Mungkinkah jernih di muara
Biarpun jenuh hidup dipalu
Pasti bertemu tenangnya

ehehehehe.. njoy d song... uhuhuhuh till now i still cant made up my mind.. uhuhuuhu

confused heart....

Assalamualaikum wrt.. hiyaa!!! uhuhuhuhuh.. i dont know how should/where to start.. i'm on my way to a really different world... i know this is a really big decision to make.. but i dont know where to talk to.. i dont wanna hurt my mom or dad.. every single word that i said or say to them.. i cant take it back..

uhuuhuhuhuhu.. i feel really confused rite now.. waaaaaaaaaaa...............i'll settle down.. n cite kat korg next time tau!!!.. bye c ya!!

Alahummaghfirli wali ukhti..luv ya!!

cute gak~~

cute~~~

boring~~~

salamz...uhuhuhuhu u guys sure pelik kan... semlm berie jek tulih.. cam ade byk mende nk bgtau.. tertibe 2day??? yup!!! feel really boring rite now.. ermm its not very suitable word actually.. malas sbenarnye..uhuhuhuuhuh ah!!.. i'll juz post pics.. heheheheh njoy d pics k!! :p

Allahumaghfirli waliukhti..

boring~~~

salamz...uhuhuhuhu u guys sure pelik kan... semlm berie jek tulih.. cam ade byk mende nk bgtau.. tertibe 2day??? yup!!! feel really boring rite now.. ermm its not very suitable word actually.. malas sbenarnye..uhuhuhuuhuh ah!!.. i'll juz post pics.. heheheheh njoy d pics k!! :p

Allahumaghfirli waliukhti..

Soldier of Allah - 1924

sometimes.. it takes blood to cherish this world.. sometimes.. tears become useless..

The truth about the state
It wasn't always like this
Let us look back in time
History reminds us
One army
One land
One central authority
Crushing the romans persians put in fear

The Ummah like a Lion
No need to shed a tear
When the village was attacked by the kufar
The Khalife heard
The sister cry & Prepared for war
Attacking the city
Destroying it from existence
Lesson # 1 Don't ever Mess with Muslims

The Imam of the Ummah is a shield
where he protects the Ummah
and where the Ummah fights behind him
Where is this shield today to protect the Ummah??
What happen to this shield
to honor and dignify the Ummah???
In 1917 Prime Minister of britain
after entering Jerusalem stated
the crusade war has ended?
In the same year the french general, goro
went to the grave of Salahudeen-Ayubi
Salahudeen-Ayubi, the one
who 730 years prier
crushed the crusades and liberated Palestine & Syria
he went to his grave in Damascus and kicked it
and said wake up oh Salahudeen we hare here ?

How did they do this to you and me
We turn on the TV and all we see is
a world full of casualties a generation in agony
our Ummah is in misery
let us go back to beginning of the century
and review our history from one side
to the other side of the globe
the system of Islam
Ruled over the world

They went to the Muslims
for the all their solutions
from mathematics to biology
to the advancements in technology
the kafir women use to imitate our women
they wanted the same respect
that the Muslims sisters were given
while the enemies of Islam
were trying to twist the Quran
trying to write a Surah like Allah?s
they all failed miserably & many of them responded
with
Ashhadu -an la Ilaha Ilallah wa Ashhadu- anna Muhammadun rasullullah

Allah has challenged the humanity until the day of judgment
to produce a Sura or an Aya like the Quran
And Allah assures that they will never be able to make an Aya like it
The kufar plan and work to destroy this Deen
and Allah affirms that we too are planning
and if all the people of the world got together
they still could not and will never be able to
put even a scratch a side of a muster seeds
on the throne of almighty Allah (SWT)

After failing on the battlefield
they kufar got together and they decided to yield
they said we must change
the way the Muslims think
and sure enough the Muslim Ummah
began to sink

In 1917 john belford promised Palestine
to the jews
31 years later
his promise went through brittan and france
split the Muslim lands
3 years later
Islam worst traitor mustafa kamal
Brought the states fall

In 1920?s mustafah kammal with the help of the british becomes the hero
Hmm? well this so-called hero cancels the authority
of the most powerful system suitable for human beings
The khilafah!!!?
he abandon all the rulings of Allah?
he did not stop there?.
He banded the Adan in Arabic,
he denied Muslim sister from obeying Allah (SWT)
by abandoning the Hijab
All Islamic calendars and holidays were canceled
Yes brothers and sisters?
he changes the Arabic alphabet to Latin
By doing so he made sure the next generation
will be lost and have no connection to their Islamic roots
as they can not read or write all the Islamic culture that was recorded
This Islamic system sent by the Creator of alameen
went from the application in life
to be in museums for people to go and see in turkey

In 1924 Our state was demolished
Hundred years of planning
And their plans were accomplished
Kafirs broke our bond
Contaminated our knowledge
Better listen up because you won't learn this in college
Beginning of the end and the divisions began
Step by step they divided our lands
in 1921 saudi arabia & iran
next year egypt &
In 32 iraq

In 1945 jordan indonesia
Lebonen & syria Two years later
The division of India
the Muslims took a stand and demanded the ruling of Islam
so they gave them pakistan but it was only an illusion
a false resolution far from the solution
In 1948 The Jews establish their israeli state

In 1901 the kufar went to Sultan Abdull Hamid the II
and offered to pay tremendous amount of money
to the Islamic State for Palestine.
Sultan Abdull Hamid the II replied:
I am not going to give one inch of Palestine to the jews as Palestine is not mine give but it belongs to the Ummah and Ummah have shed blood to defend this land but if one day the Islamic State falls apart then you can have Palestine for free but as long as I am alive I would rather have my flesh be cut up then cut out Palestine from the Muslim land I will not allow any carving up while we are alive!!!!!

In 1960's somolia & nigaria
kuwait & algeria
In 1964
Came the PLO yasar arafat
The us scarecrow a great declined
In 1969
When the west was training
Muslims scholars for hire
Jews were setting
Al-Aqsa mosque on fire!

Let us recall 1970
For those who don't remember
That was the year
That we had black September
The king of jorden & yaser arafat
Began their plot
Shot after shot
Muslim blood spilled
As innocent Muslims were killed
Communism attacked but
Muslims fought back

The sincere Mujahideen of Afghanistan fought
and pushed back the Russians and then
They started to fight among themselves
Khomaine became in power
with the promise of ruling
and raising the Ummah to a level of dignity
But his promise never went through
soon after iran and iraq
went to war
And millions of innocent Muslims died
for 10 years Muslims killing Muslims
Over what!!!??? What else?!!!
the agenda of the west!!!
at the end there were no resolution
Today iran is very much open to democracy
and reformation
and the Muslims in iraq continue to suffer?.
SubhanAllah!?.
where is the Amir of the Ummah??!!!!?..

Another decade gone
But we still don't have Islam
Take a look at the gulf
And the killings of sadam
Over million Muslims died
But no one answered their cries
In the 1990's
The Muslim genocide
Bosnia Kosovo Chechenya Dagistan

Bring back Islam! Bring back Islam! Bring back Islam! Bring back Islam!

It?s year 2000
And nothing has changed
Past generation has aged
Let us write the next page
It?s time for us to change
It?s up to you & me
Either we make history or we become history?

this song is really give me spirit.. reminding me that.. there r ppl out there that r suffering.. protecting Islam with their life.. n im here??? uhuhuuhuhuh astaghfirullah hal 'azim..:((

setelah sekian lame..

Assalamualaikum wrt...
uhuuhuhuhuhuuuhhu salamz every1.. how r u guys? uhuuhuhu i juz got back from surrey.. camping there.. join a prog.. carik ilmu.. uhuhuhuhuh.. actually i'm in pinch rite now.. uhhuhuhuh someone who r going to get married cant be thinking bout someone else rite?? how shold i realize that person.. i dont wanna hurt hus feeling.. wuts he doing is wrong.. saye bukn nk berlagak sbg penghukum..but :(( i really dont know wut to do..

yesterday.. for d first time.. our family had conference thru YM.. all of us were there except my younger bro which is studying in perak(i think so.:D) my second big bro is at home rte now.. he alreday finish his study n soon will step into world of adult(working la..) eheheheh saje nk buat bahase cam org dewase sket..:p so my mom n papa look very happy especially my mom.. in our siblings.. my mom n papa has each one of them their fav.. its not a good thing but the other dont feel any inferior.. mayb coz we realize or acknowledge their 'superiority'... uhuhuhuuh i wont say any further than that..

my bro is groing to get engaged this summer.. n my second bro is going to meet someone soon..but i dont know who..(really feel lonely.. coz dont know any detail..) saye ade rase terase gak la in dis case.. there was one time...when my younger bro(d one that studying in perak) met accident.. its long time ago.. but i dont know anything bout that.. n still now my parents thout dat i still dont know bout that.. he broke his legs.. spending in hospital for a few months.. i think dat 'balasan' Allah nk tunjuk kat dunia pd kitorg... n also for him.. coz he is the naughtiest among us.. he didnt like study.. smoking.. always poteng kelas.. n now i hope he insaf la.. uhuuhuhuuhh.. b4 i really like him.. coz he didnt talk back to me.. even now.. when my mom or me call home.. when i talk to him.. u know.. guys dont like talk or manje2 wit their older sis.. but he's cool.. he went to sekolah agame b4.. i forgot either sekolah agame kerajaan or kerajaan negeri.. uhuhuhuhu.. i dont know wut my parents wttitude toward him.. i hope they treat him like b4... kekurangan kasih syg la tu.. uhuhuhuh xpe.. saye ade.. i'll always root for u as long as u do good thing..:p

owh.. acteli i wanna tell bout my second bro.. uhuhu he juz finish his study in japan.. my parents match him wit a girl... but i dont know who.. i dont know wut will he do.. acteli.. among our siblings.. he is the first one who couple.. but he studied in sekolah agame kerajaan negeri.. uhuhuhu dier started couple when he was studying in mrsm kuala berang, terengganu.. uhuhuhuhu.. a few weeks ago.. my parents gave their consent for me to couple.. but they dont know i dont like..(well.. this is personal opinion.. dont take it to heart k..:D) i hope there's no one waiting for me(u knwo wut i mean..) i dont wanna be match to someone.. its not that i will fond someone.. but i hav my own reasons.. uhuhuuh

wokehla.. i think now saye dah kekeringan idea.. dah xtau nk tulih ape dah.. uhuhuhuhu
Allahumaghfirli waliukhti.. jzkk

ja-ne matane..

triffle yg best.. mase besday kak mum!!

MPI..

Assalamualaikum wrt...
Yo!!!.. ehehhehhehe how r u guys? hope u r in d best of health n eman... :D dis week.. starting 26th of march.. we r having MPI(minggu penghayatan Islam).. well i dont know whether they already change the exact meaning.. coz i dont like it.. we dont need a specific week to 'menghayati' Islam.. we practice it everyday.. we juz can make it like.. ermm 'menggandakan' something like dat..uhuhuuh xpe la.. juz first step.. i really hope they will change it some day... d majlis perasmian.. i didnt go.. coz i went to tamrin nisa'.. then..d next activity is kuiz..well acteli we also got usrah at dat time.. but i'mone of d exco(MCOT) they ask me to make some sandwiches.. n i havnt done much around dis time.. except provide cartoon for d bulletin..

at first.. i thout i can make them earlier.. pass them to someone.. n i can go to usrah withoutany worries.. but then.. dont hav much time.. i started boil eggs at 430.. n we planned to go at 5.. uhuhuhhuuh terpakse la.. x pela.. we hav another one on thursday.. but d problem is.. i heard of it after someone ask me.. some kinda nk celebrate besday la.. n i said yes.. uhuhuhuhuuhu.. really xdek mase r skrg nih.. really fortunate i dont hav much subject dis sem.. not like last sem.. uhuhhuuh..

my bro r going to korea dis 3rd of april.. n i will be at london at dat time.. uhuhuhuhuhu.. owh.. my second bro will be going back for gewd dis thursday.. i really jealous of him.. from form 1 he entered sekolah agama.. then can fly to jepun..(acteli i really want to go to jepun).. then even b4going back to mesia.. he already got a job.. uhuhuhu he'll be working at Melaka.. hmm.. my first bro at selangor.. then my second bro at melaka.. then i'll go to johor la.. ehehehh then.. my little bro go to perak or perlis.. then my little imouto can stay at Kelantan(coz she nvr go study out of kelantan b4).. then.. i'll send my youngest ottoto.. to sabah or sarawak.. ahahahah my parents dont want any of their children go there.. ahahahhhaha isk mengarut jek..

i hav to post back my ticket to lee's travel.. coz MAS change their flight schedule.. they dont hav any flight to manchester anymore.. we hav to go to london's airport first b4 direct flight go to mesia..uhuhhuu leceh giler.. xpe la..
wokeh la.. feel sleepy.. going to bed after dis..nite!!!! salamz..

unpredictable weather...

hi every1.. uhuhuuhuh
starting 2day.. i'll write in bold char.. coz of my new design of blog... uhuhuuhuh i luv it.. well.. i took about 5 hours editing my blog.. i planned it b4.. but dont hav time lorr.. uhuhuhuuh those who came to my room these few days will know how my life rite now.. uhuhuuh really2 bersepah!!! my sleep also not 'teratur'.. uhuhuhu really x aman..

2day i need to send a report.. will meet my groupmates at 12.. but er i am.. sitting in my room like dont care..no lah!!!! i'm giving d report last blow.. ahahahah.. i'm d compiler for dis week.. uhuhuhuuh.. really cant understand my groupmates.. they r really strict.. how shld i say dis.. ermm "lepak ar.. x yah le tension2 sgt.. we r doing it in our won way.." ermm ahahahaha i cant say it straight to their faces.. coz sometimes i messed up.. :P so kinda shameful of me la if i say dat to them.. uhuhuuhu

other ppl may see me as dont hav prob.. welli can say dat 'mayb' i dont hav d very same prob as d others.. erm also 'mayb' my probs are not as big as d others.. but i'm doing my best.. but sometimes i messed up.. there's one thing i wanna achieve rite now.. i wanna be consistent.. i wanna be istiqamah in wut i did(only guwd thing la..:D) but its very hard.. i dont know bout d others.. but for ppl who always say dat.. but not doing it.. dont say it then.. its very hard!!!! well.. i'm not upset to any1.. uhhuhu juz to me.. :p

owh.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..i'm late rite now.. got meeting wit my groupmates at 12.. got to go now.. uhuhuuh buhbyee.. c ya!!! jzkk..:D

HIJJAZ - BELAIAN IBU

TERTANAM NALURI KEIBUAN
AMAT MENDALAM DI JIWA INSAN
YG MENDAMBAKAN KEBAHAGIAAN
OH IBU...
DI BAHUMU TERGALAS
BEBAN PERJALANANNMU PENUH RINTANGAN
KAU TITIPKAN KASIH SAYANG
SEJUJUR PENGORBANAN
TAK KU NAFIKAN
DI SAAT KITA BERJAUHAN
RASA INGINKU BERLARI
MENDAKAPIMU PENUH GIRANG
BAK SI KECIL KEHILANGAN
KAU INSAN PENYAYANG
BETAPA KU MERINDU
LEMBUT NYA BELAIAN IBU
MEMBUATKU TERLENAKU
PASTIKAN DIKAU AMAN
DIKURNIA SEJAHTERA
TAK KU LUPAKAN
DI WAJAH MU BEROLAK TENANG
SEBAK DI DADA KAU RAHSIAKAN
KU PASTIKAN
DIKAU AMAN DIKURNIA SEJAHTERA
TAK KU LUPAKAN
DI SAAT KITA BERJAUHAN
RASA INGINKU BERLARI MENDAKAPIMU
PENUH GIRANG
BAK SI KECIL KEHILANGAN
TIADA AKU TANPA IBU
HANYA KAU SATU DI DUNIA
BERTAKHTA DIKAU DI JIWAKU
KAULAH IBU YANG TERCINTA
KAU INSAN PENGASIH
BETAPAKU MENGHARAP
HADIRNYA RESTUMU IBU
MEMBAWAKU KE SYURGA
BERSEMI BELAIAN KASIH SAYANG
YANG BERPANJANGAN
DARIMU INSAN YANG MENDOAKAN
KEBAHAGIAAN ANAK-ANAKMU OH IBU

^-^ how can i forget someone who carry me around for 9 months without saying i'm a nuisance.. never abandoned me.. never forget me even a day.. never ignore me even one day.. looking me with such a pair of loving eyes.. my heart aches everytime i remember those days that i took my ways instead of ways u prefer.. those days that i showed bad expressions.. but u never turn ur back on me.. owh..how i wish i'll always b by ur side.. give all my love to u.. touch ur hand.. n tell u how much i luv u.. mama.. I LUV U!!!!!!!

salamz...

Assalamualaikum wrt..

phew.. after those a few days.. ermm i juz came back from ireland.. uhhuhuhuh that was my first time there.. well.. i'm not that kinda 'suke berjln2'.. ehehehhe but bcoz of some reason..

i dont know if my family will read dis blog.. but ermm.. i dont think so..:p for those who r near me.. know wut i've been up to these days.. ok.. lately(since last sem i think) i follow a jemaah.. well its not a bad thing.. but it consumes my time+money+energy.. eheheh well.. i knda like it.. xdek org pakse.. but i havnt tell my family.. its not dat i dont wanna tell them.. n its not dat my family object dis thing.. but i get dis kinda feeling dat they cant accept it easily.. my family nvr get involve in dis thing.. well its not dat my family is more into academic stuff.. well i can say dat.. but my family is normal family.. dat hope grad successfully.. then get a good profession.. then get married.. buy a good house.. then live 'happily'.. n thats it.. sometimes.. go to 'ceramah agama'.. but no care for other ppl.. i get this feeling dat.. if i tell them.. jwpnnye? nape susah2 nk g dakwah kat org? ustaz ramai... lagi pun bukn nye cukup ilmu nk g ckp2 ngan org.. biar la org lain yg buat keje tu.. i cant b upset bcoz of wut thery say.. 'mangse keadaan'.. :(( kinda sad rite? first thing i wanna do when i go back to m'sia.. tell them.. n hope they will support me.. n 2gether wit me in dis kinda field.. ehehehhehe

wanna tell u something.. this thing really bugs me a lot.. i hav 2 friends(A n B).. they r very good fren to each other.. wit me..so-so la.. eheheheh A is kinda 'hanyut' la.. dont wanna say bad things bout her.. i thnk bcoz of upbringing.. kitorg kwn baik tu boleh la kate kwn baik.. xdek la gduh2 or buat bodo jek kalo jumpe tepi jln.. then B is someone who i always see.. i seldom see A.. one day.. B tell me.. ayat dier camnii.. kalo bgtau dlm bahase melayu lagik best bunyik dier..:p "Sheila, kitorg(kwn2 diorg la) selalu pelik camne la ko leh kwn ngan A.. cam jauh beza giler".. saye pon pelik la.. ape yg x leh kwn nye.. saye pon tanye balik.. "asal? ape yg pelik nye? x leh ke?".. dier pon jwb.."xdek la.. ko kan baik.. A tu kan cam tu.. cam pelik la camne korg leh jadik baik..C(kwn diorg gak la) pon ade pnah bgtau bende nih".. org baik hanya leh kwn ngan org baik jek ke? org baik x leh kwn ngan org 'x baik' ke? well.. its ok.. but sometimes make me think.. dats wut ppl see me outside? its not dat i dont like ppl see me as 'org baik' but.. i only did(at d moment) wut ppl should do.. ape yg org 'x baik' tu buat sampai normal ppl(i think i ca generalise like dat) been saperated from them? juz something to ponder..uhuhuhuhu:(

i got lab at 11.. (really hav so many things to write..) but i think its enuf for now.. huuhuhuhuhuh.. *in dilemma rite now.. God, plz give me guidance..
salamz..

long tyme no c..

Assalamualaikum wrt..
Yo!!! long time no c man.. ermm almost a month i didnt write soemthing in dis blog... ahahahahah well.. i can say dat i dont hav time to write up all dat happen to me these days.. ahahha.. last nite we(me, along, kak mum, nawar, inayah, zatil, ain, am, kak, asyif, kak zai, kak jah) celebrated kak mum's besday.. acteli her ebsday is on 6th of march... but we juz wanted to get on her... well.. at some points it didnt turned out so well as planned.. but i think dats ok.. i always remember dis phrase.. any relationship.. after 'gaduh-gaduh'.. u will become closer.. i think its all apply to any kind of relationship.. including children-parents.. :p..

rite now.. i hav sooo many prob.. but i hav been taught since m small.. solve ur own prob.. dont ever try to depend on others.. well.. uhuhuuhuhu dats wut m doing.. i only depends on Him only.. always remember wut kak mums told me.. whenever m sad.. or tired(mentally) or weak.. i'll remind myself.. dat.. we always ask Him for us to be strong.. give us guidance in solving our prob n obstacles.. but He nvr give those in straight way... we nvr receive 'letter' or guidebook showing how to solve our prob from Him.. but by giving us prob n obstacles itself.. is one way of making us strong.. we try to solve d probs.. He will always help us.. sometimes i despise myself.. i always choose wuts He doesnt want us to choose.. i realize dat.. but..uhuhuuhu its really hard to change.. plus its change from bad to good.. uhuhuuhuhu..

dis weekend.. i'll b away for study circle.. well its kinda big one.. a combined one.. ppl always said.. if we wanna change.. be it a bit by a bit.. but b consistent.. huhuhuhuuh.. but be consistent is something hard.. uhhhuuh..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

yupp!! i'm lazying around rite now.. feel nothing to do but then really hav a lot of hw to do acteli.. huhu.. u know.. i dreamt 4 nites in a row bout going back home.. i guess i really miss home altho i wont admit it.. eheheheh more i dont wanna think bout it.. more it comes to my restless-long sleep!!!.. uhuhhuuhuhu huishh.. wut m i talking bout???

as usual.. weekend, i spend my days in my room.. feel a bit cold but its comfortable enuf for me.. eheheheheh acteli i was planning to change some of d stuff in my room.. ehehehehhe but really so lazy to work out my tulang 4 kerat.. ahahahhaa huh*sigh*.. these days r really hard.. i dont know wut to do.. i'mnot a robot n i'm not an animal.. i know dat.. i dont know how long i'll be living.. i dont know wuts my last thing dat i'll be doing b4 i die... dat's all in Allah's hand... i know i hav works to do.. my head keep telling me dat i hav to do dat..i hav to do this.. but i dont know wuts make me dis bad... i always ask Allah for strength.. but myself, i nvr try to use d 'strength dat HE gave me..i really hope He wont stop giving me d strength.. uhuhuhhuhuhu *really feel so low of myself*

i spent about 45 pnds only for ink for printer only in dis month.. n i only got 1/2 of d allowance dat i supposd to get.. huhuhuuhuh.. i hav to watch carefully to my budget.. i havnt shop for clothes for a long time.. well dat's not in my interest acteli.. d last cloth i bought is when i'm in ds2.. from lele.. d4 dat is in ebay 2 month ago.. ahahahhaa.. not a girly type am i?? ahahhaha well i dont care.. these days.. i like to ware 4 layers of clothes.. first layer is sleeveless shirt.. then long-sleeve shirt then.. a not-too-thick sweater wit hook.. then my long black coat.. wear it either wit my denim jeans or denim skirt.. ahahhaha i think i wear dat kind of fashion about 4 times a week.. ahahhahahah realy comfortable dat now's still so cold outside.. ;p

dat's all for now.. jazakillah..

my turning point...

Assalamualaykum wrt..

it's really hard if u wanna change.. altho u wanna change from bad to good.. but it's really hard.. dat's d situation i'm in rite now.. i know how bad i was b4.. n i think i am rite now.. there're so many things i wanna do n leave.. but wit i am rite now.. it's a miracle!! i wanna b good.. i already got d hidayah.. so i'll use all my strength to change.. huh.. all i do is talking rite? i wont change juz by dat.. huhuhuhuh..

i went to liverpool yesterday n juz got back dis afternoon.. we(me plus kak asyif, am, nawar, zatil, ain, along, inayah) stayed at cik yah's house.. we had usrah.. ate 2gether.. n salat 2gether.. i really long for dat kind of environment among my frens.. but i know.. it's quite hard.. but it's not impossible for it to happen rite?.. uhuhhuuhu.. i started to study 40 hadith.. i feel like really poor.. coz i know nothing.. i barely remember sentences in al-Quran.. n i know very few hadiths.. how can i live with dis very lil' knowledge?? in one of a book i read recently.. Imam Ghazali said dat.. u cant go amar makruf nahi mungkar till u 1. berlemah lembut dgn ape yg hendak diseru n dicegah.. 2. berilmu dgn ape yg ingin diseru n dicegah.. 3. adil dgn ape yg ingin diseru n dicegah.. hmm... n i rite now? hav no right to tell ppl wut's wrong n wuts rite.. but dat's my objective in life.. d me rite now's d worst.. i know dat.. i really wanna change dat.. all i can do are learn everthing dat i need to know n ask for Allah's guidance.. it'll be fine.. "Allah will help those who's helping Allah in Islam.." i'll always hold to dat words.. Allah's words are always true..

insyaAllah.. for those who always stay by my side.. i'm very grateful to u.. n only Allah can reward u.. tq.. muaahsss

these days...

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i dont know wut happen to me these days.. juz feel like i'va waste so many time n cant get enuf of it??? astaghfirullah hal 'azim.. y hav i been so ungrateful??? feel so shame of myself n sooo guilty.. oh God.. plz forgive me.. i juz got back from ds2.. basically it's a big usrah(circle).. given by ustaz.. well.. acteli it was a big shock for me.. after heard all those things there.. y? ermm.. coz i juz knew something dat i should know..but nvr realize it b4.. how foolish i am.. D Mercifull God gave me more than enuf time to enjoy my time.. but...

i really grateful to God.. dat i've been sent here.. coz i can learn all these.. n i really wanna change my life.. so dat i can give my 100% to da'wah.. my rezki is in Allah's hand.. He will give whenever He wants.. n take it back whenever He wants.. mayb some ppl will say dat it's extreme dat i've enter dis kind of world.. b4 i wld say like dat to those ppl.. but now i really regretted it.. i'm really sorry..
as u heard n saw(mayb).. karikatur dat insulted Rasulullah had been published.. i really shocked heard dat.. i nvr see d karikatur.. now dis kind of attack they wanna give us? r u really dat desperate? N as u know.. dis is also God's test.. He's testing our iman.. even if there's a tiny dot in our heart.. it will be hard to weep it away.. but Allah loves us.. even we dont do wut He says.. He still gives us rezki.. still let we live in His world.. but still.. there're ppl who juz 'dont wanna' realize this thing.. juz take for granted all these things.. how can u do dat??? Rasulullah begged Allah to put all his ummat's sin on his shoulder.. but Allah rejected d request.. do u know y Rasulullah did dat? Coz he loves us.. even our parents or lovers.. anyone.. wont do things like dat.. even Rasulullah nvr meet us.. even there're ppl who ignore insult-Rasulullah-thing in his ummat.. Subhanallah.. Rasulullah lived his life to deliver kalimatullah to us.. n we live..even born in Islam.. bcoz of Rasulullah.. we even didnt grateful to him n Allah??? wut kind of human we wld be?

i juz cant be silent bout dis.. i want ppl to realize.. Allah's watching us.. He knows everything.. even when we're alone.. we know dat.. we always say dat.. but we nvr realize wut's d meaning of it.. it means dat.. we cant lie.. we cant pretend to b good.. we hav to do wut He says.. wutever in our hearts He knows everything.. owh.. God.. i always ask for strength.. i always ask for guide... but i'll nvr get them if U doesnt help me.. plzzz help me go thru dis life.. i'll do my job while i'm in Ur world.. juz help me.. i cant askhelp from anything else.. coz U're d only one whose Mighty..U're d only one who hav everything.. plzzz help me.. plzz dont turn Ur back on me..

also my bro..wit his proud car

my bros..

exam dah abes.. merdeka!!!

yo!.. ehehhehehe my last paper was dis morning.. n it was quite shocking.. coz i didnt expect dat i can answer it.. acteli i dont like d subject.. dat i had dis morning.. isk.. dat's it..i dont wanna talk bout it.. uhuhuhuuh
for those who follow my updated entry.. well arigatou ghozaimasta'.. u must be feel quite weird after yesterday's entry rite? well.. jitsu-ai nvr tell others bout my prob.. i'll make it clear here.. i think i can solve my own prob.. i'm not saying dat d others cant solve their own prob..but it's juz d matter of my principle.. if they ask for help.. i'll help them.. if they didnt say anything.. i wont make they do dat.. i believe everything a person do or did.. they hav their own reason n i cant interfere wit dat..

isk.. acteli i wanna explain bout yesterday's entry but then.. i think there's nothing to say anymore.. i dont care bout wut ppl say.. sometimes i juz cant stand wit ppl dat care too much bout wut d others think or say bout themselves.. i know dat we live in community.. so as one of them.. we hav to act like one.. but it doesnt mean dat we hav to satisfy them.. d only one who can satisfy someone is her/himself..

after d last paper dis morning.. i went to syud's room.. acteli i juz wanna take those cds she borrowd.. coz she said she cant open d cd.. hmmm wut's wrong ek? then.. acteli she juz got something from back home.. n guess wut? ppl at home sent her about 5 packets of bihun.. waaaaaa.. n she has about 7 in total... she gave me one.. n i already cooked it juz now.. ahahhahahah lame x makan bihun.. uhuhuhuhu.. hmm.. i guess nothing to talk bout for now.. huh.. dis monday i'll start class for 2nd sem.. uhuhuhuuh.. so malas n depressing.. we juz finishd our exam so kambe-stekudasai... uhuuhuhu wokeh la.. see ya around k.. byee

huhuhuhu.. exam

yo!!! mina-san.. genki? ehehheheh how's ur life so far? ermm good? ehehhee well.. acteli i dont really hav something to write ere.. but juz feel like it.. ahahahhaha mezrashi nee.. ahahhahah well yesterday i baked bun.. or i think it acteli pau.. hmm.. not bad.. i've been wanting to eat some acteli n cant find one ere.. so i juz make one.. ahahahhah n i plan to make some tonite too.. ahahahhaha... isk.. i think i laugh too much these days... n i think those smiles are not from my heart.. hmmm i tried so hard acteli.. to live a normal life.. but i think this is not a normal life.. hmm.. none of ppl around me knows bout dis.. except myLord.. ahh dont wanna think bout it rite now

jitsu-a.. i think i'm not a realible person.. i know dat for someone to declare it seems stupid.. but honto-wa.. i really think dat.. i hav a long list bout wut i wanna do.. but the list is juz getting longer.. i hav a long list bout wut to get or find.. but nvr try to reduce the amount of it.. huhuhuhuuhuh.. baka da ne.. watashi.. sometimes.. when i think of a bad situation.. i always think of running away.. altho in reality it's one of our own choice.. but when i think back.. i'll regret it in d future.. u know rite, i like animes.. i watchd a lot.. many kind of it.. sometimes i learned something from them.. n sometimes.. it's juz wasting my time but i enjoy it.. tanoshi!! ppl always said.. altho in those animes.. running away from our problems.. wont solve it.. it juz make it worse.. i trained myself, u know.. pathetic am i? :( i try very hard to face any prob i hav.. get thru it.. but acteli i'm not facing it.. i juz pretend it.. y? well.. i cant.. ppl always said.. be optomistic..but it's easy said than done..

wut ever we do.. wutever we choose.. wutever we decide.. will create out line, isnt it? dat's y when i hav to face any prob.. i get scared.. if i choose a wrong path.. then i'll stray from d right path.. but wut's a right path? wut's good for me.. wuts give me an eternal happiness.. hmm.. it's really direct rite? i live everyday watching ppl around me.. get influenced.. learnd from mistake.. get back to my foot.. then dat's it.. d meaning in it? nai!!! huh.. wut am i writing? i've nvr been like dis b4.. b4, i nvr tell my prob to other ppl.. i always keep to myself.. y? coz i feel i cant tell.. it's not dat i cant trust ppl.. but i feel dat it's my own prob so juz keep away from it, k.. but when my frens got one.. i really wanna help them.. y? i dont know.. i juz feel like it.. in anime(i told u, i'm easily influenced)they always said dat juz do wut u feel rite.. i hav a lot to write.. but i think it's enuf..(i told u, i nvr told anyone bout my prob..dis is weird for myself)wokeh got ot go.. byee.. mata ne

Wut's next??

hi there.. first thing.. i havnt write anyhting for these past few days.. sori bout dat.. how should i put this.. i havnt contact my frens.. well mayb it's natural for u guys but i juz realize dat i havnt talk to ppl other than my housemates n my coursemates.. huh.. wut a bad fren i am.. i havnt talk to dayah after eid.. i havnt talk to ehsan for a few months already.. syud lak.. after eid.. we juz sms each other n in ym only... uhuhuhuuhuh.. i really dont know wut happen to me.. mayb u can say bcoz of exam.. but i think it's juz an excuse.. huh.. wut am i writing?? ok i admit.. i'm not in gud mood rite now.. bcoz of d paper i got 2day.. it was realllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy suck!! after i sat for d paper.. something juz popped up in my head.. wut acteli am i doing? wut acteli i learned in d classes?? it's juz dont feel rite.. u know.. when u wanna match ur clothes... the color juz dont feel rite.. these feelings juz dont leave me alone.. after d paper today(it's not today acteli.. it's yesterday now..ehehehe) i went back home...feel really hungry.. but no one cook yet.. so i cooked something simple.. juz spagetti.. then hav some.. then went to bed.. ahahhahha u know it's juz 6 pm at dat time.. i felt so empty..

i read firah's blog juz now.. well it's kinda habit u know.. read others blog when u wanna write ur own.. hehehehhehe ok kan firah? ahahahhah.. well i havnt read hers for a few weeks already i think.. then in her blog.. she wrote something n it really struck me.. huh.. it makes me think d same way.. dat i nvr think dat way b4.. huh.. really... nanyi tendayo..watashi..??? i really hate dis.. i dont like dis kind of life.. dis is not life dat i desire.. dis is not d path i wanna draw for my history.. how shld i put this...??? it's like u get lost somewhere u know.. when u choose a way.. it's juz dont feel rite.. n u dont know wut to do.. u dont wanna stay put.. coz u know if u dont do anything.. nothing will come ur way.. no one can save u.. but if u do something..it's juz dont feel rite..owh God.. plz help mee...

when i get irritated.. or upset.. i cook.. rite now.. i really wanna make something.. n i wanna make bread.. ehehehehhe pelik kan? ade ke nk buat roti lak.. ermmm not plain bread.. i wanna make meat bun.. i cant buy it here.. but i wanna eat meat bun.. it's frustrated rite? it's feel like u're really hungry.. then there's food in front of u but u cant eat it.. acteli i know how to make meat bun.. but i know it's not as delicious as in d store.. well it's enuf rite? ppl always say dat wutever come from our hand is delicious.. well mayb it's not applied to all but it's at least applied to me.. i'm not saying dat wutever i cook is delicious but.. i will eat wutever i cook.. ehehehe altho it's not as delicious as in d store but it's delicious for me.. uhuhuhuuuh.. sounds depressing rite? huhuhuhuh.. i wanna sleep rite now.. but cant sleep.. owh sorry.. u read my blog..wanna find any interesting event but all u read is my small-matter-thingy.. ahahhaha warukattana.. ja' see ya around next time.. eheheh mata ne

u will see wut u believe...

hi there.. ehehhehheehe after dis we're(plus my housemates...) going to mariam's house.. ehehehe for iftar.. ermmm acteli i dont hav or more to dont feel to write anything.. but then i juz finish read firah's blog.. ermm i'm acteli speechless after read it.. i cant believe wut i read.. uhuhuhuhu n i also cant believe firah's like dat... i know dat i know firah not too long ago for me to say dat i understand her well.. but from my instinct.. ermmmm she's not a person dat selfish(well dat's wut i can understand from her blog) hermm.. for ppl who havnt read her blog..it's not dat i wanna badmouth her or something like dat.. but it's commonly happened to ppl around our age acteli... hermmm.. ppl always say dat they wanna do wut they desired.. they wanna be free from all their prob n live happily.. but wut's happy life acteli.. i think it's very subjective... som ppl may say being rich is happy life.. other ppl also say power's d factor to happy life.. n everyone's ideal life is not d same.. so it's impossible to satisfy everyone..

well acteli i'm in hurry.. ermmm i'll talk bout it later.. ehehehehe.. wahh i really miss my home..my mom.. my dad.. my bros n sis.. uhuuh n also my meow2.. uhuhuhuhuhu.. i hav been awy for too long.... my bro told me dat.. our house's not like b4.. i know dat but i cant imagine it.. ahahahhahha.. waaa sooo many thing i wanna write in dis blog.. coz soooo many thing happened in dis a few days.. ahahahhahahha.. wokeh got to go.. ahahahhha really hungry rite now... n thank u am.. :D

my fav group- at d moment la---> Kat-Tun!!!!!!!

Kizuna(bond) --->kat-tun

dis is my fav song at d moment.. ahahahah ac teli they sing it in their languange..but i only found d lyric in english..well at least i can understand it.. ehehehh enjoy it!!


No matter how much we consider the future,
No one can see the truth.
Something is blocking my blank mind,
It's just a mistake that I've been repeating.

It's okay for my steps to continue, these hands have seperated.
Walking away from where you continue to live,
Until I become worn out I keep prolonging it
That time, that place, it will never disappear - this bond.

In time that flows, I try not to lose anything.
Passing by, we collided - true emotion
permeated my heart, into warm desires
The miracle I requested came about by chance.

Even when things couldn't stand still, amidst the pain,
I saw the light, because we were bound together.
It's okay if you lied, and it's okay to cry
That time, that place, it will never disappear - this bond.

It's okay for my steps to continue, these hands have seperated.
Walking away from where you continue to live,
Until I become worn out I keep prolonging it
That time, that place, it will never disappear - this bond.

uhuhuhuhuuuhh.. the group who sing dis song is in d pic above.. ehehehhe alaaa.. it juz a boyband group who's famous among girlz... eheheheh

New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2006..waaa!!

konichiwa'.. sawadikap!! ehehhheh domo!!.. eheheheh i'm verrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy sleeeeeeeeepy rite now.. so i think mayb i'll take some rest n update dis boring blog.. ahahhahah.. but dis yr ermm.. i dont feel anything bout it.. coz when 2005 b4.. i feel like wow!!! but when 2006 comes.. hermmm feel like abit boring.. mayb coz i'm worried bout exam..(in d middle of january) eheheheh n i hav to take 7 papers.. waaaa.... n i'm a bit lazy dis time... i dont know y.. hermmm... mayb coz i'm staying in house?? coz b4.. i lived in hall.. n there was ade suasane study from others... ehehheh.. when i ask d others.. ade yg 3 papers only.. 5 papers.. n mine is paling byk papers.. waaaa uhuhuuuhhuuh.. i think i can put more effort on subj other than maths.. coz my strong point is from maths.. but guess wut?? maths dis sem is sooooooooooooooo hard.. plus we dont hav maths next sem... waaaaaaaaaaa how i;m going to survive????? uhuhuhuhuhuh ermmm... wut to do??? put those things aside.. eheheheh ahaa.. these a few days.. i build a habit.. waking late in d morning...waarrgghhhhh!!! i really hate dis.. coz i'm a morning person.. once i wake up.. i wont sleep after dat.. so i dont sleep in d evening.. n i like to study at nite.. so i'll sleep late... but wake up so alte in d morning.. waa.... i really hate it.... hmm.. mayb coz i didnt turn on d alarm.. n also i change my sleep position(it's one of my habit.. eheheh i really like change any position in my room..including my sleep position..:p) coz my alarm is really near to my next dooor's bed.. juz a wall between them.. so i think it's really annoying if i dont turn it off on time.. ehehhehe hm... y? coz i dont like to bother d others for such things as alarm.. loud music.. n things like dat.. coz i expect d same things from them.. it's natural like dat, isn't it?? ehehehehhe

one thing is always on my mind in these a few days.. i like to experience something.. ermmm like when i was in form 4 or 5(high school) i was wondering how is it to be a college stud or univ.. something like dat.. ermm now i already experienced high school.. college.. univ.. so i'm wondering bout d feeling being an employee??? ermmm i havnt think how i wanna be.. ermm i mean.. i'm engineering stud.. particular in mechatronic engineering.. i can go to electronic field.. or mechanical.. or i can be a lecturer.. bout dat part i havnt decide yet.. coz i think i'm suitable to be office-gal.. i know bout it.. coz my bro's working wit proton.. ermm but i like doing calculation n practical works.. so it's more to laboratory or industrial thingy.. ermm but d other hand.. my parents really want me to take lacturer at d end... hmmm.. hah!! mayb i'll juz do wut i can or wut i hav to do.. n think bout those thing when d time comes.. ehehhehe..

wokeh la.. i think i can study a bit more after dis.. take a rest.. watch anime a few episodes.. then sleep.. ehehehe dat's my routine.. mata neh.. ja ne

Yosh!!!! kora... ehehehhhehe

Hi there.. :p feeling great? ahahahha after shopping so many things? well.. i guess no...y???? coz ur pocket feel empty rite?? ahahhaha alaaaa... rileks.. it's juz normal thing after boxing day...wakakakkakaka.. well i juz realize other ppl(not my frenz) also read my blog.. well i find it's suprising coz i dont feel my blog is 'an interesting one' so dat other ppl except my frenz will read it.. ahahahha well ari gatou ghozaimashta'.. i really appreciate it.. eheheheh well it's juz my daily n personal life.. so dat i can release my tension.. i wanna let all d stuff in my head.. ehehehhe i juz watchd movies..juz like heaven n the family stone.. ermm well juz like heaven's great but the family stone.. ermm mayb i can give it.. 5/10.. not too boring or not too good.. eheehhehe warrghhh.. owh feel sooo sleepy rite now... b4 dis i hav many things to talk bout but now.. ermm seems like everything's leaving my head.. ehehehe i dont know it's a good thing or bad..ermm wokeh laa.. see ya next tyme.. :p mata ne

Boxing day!!

uhuhuuhuuhuuh... 2day's boxing day!!.. but ermm tell u wut.. i dont really excited over dis kind of day.. ehehhehhe ermm well mayb u'll figure it out dat.. i dont look like 'a normal female'.. ehehehe usually girlz like shopping.. travelling.. n stuff like dat.. but i dont feel like doing things like dat.. uhuhuhuhuu dont know y.. :D ermm boxing day mayb juz like d other day but wit less busses n trains on track.. ahahhahahhah ermm mayb i like electronic stuffs more than clothes mayb.. ehehhe ahh.. dat's not d point rite? :P ermmm i'm in my room rite now.. wit kak nuyu juz woke up.. kak mum went to Trafford centre.. Besma still at her house.. ermm well acteli i dont hav anything in my head rite now.. juz thinking dat.."APE MALAS2 NIH????? EXAM DAH DEKAT!!!!! UHUHUHUHUH.. SUME NOTES DAH DEPAN MATE.. TP MALAS LAK NK STUDI..EHEHEHEHEH.." ahahahahah my 1st paper is on 17th of january.. n my last paper is on 27th of january.. n I HAV 7 PAPERS...waaaa n all those subjects r really killing me..ermm..i guess nothing i can do bout it except studi.. studi.. n studi.. rite? eheheheh well haa... on 22nd of dec..kak nuyu turnd to 22!!!! n i'm d only 21 in dis house rite now.. wakakakakakaka.... alaaa.. it only last till 31st of dec thow.. ahahha xpe la.. saje jek carik alasan nk excited..:p ahaa kak asyif also has d same birthday..:p well dat's it.. see ya next time..:p

uhuhuuuh.. got dis from firah...

eehhehehehhee.. got dis from firah.. it's really interesting.. ehehhe reminded me of something..:p

To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed a train.

To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask someone who just avoided an accident.

To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.

Christmas eve..

Salamz... uhuhuhuhuuh.. 2night is christmas nite.. juz watchd harry potter d first movie juz now.. ehehehhe but now feel sooooooooooooo sleeeeeeeeeeeppppy... pdhal dis morning i slept longer than usual.. ehhehe ah.. cant let myself be like dis.. uhuhuhuu i dont like when my daily thing like my eating schedule.. sleep schedule.. things like dat.. get 'terabur'<--dont know wut word in english.. ehehehhe but now feel like wanna write somethin n definitely not 'ilmiah' thing.. eheheh ape..rilek2.. last nite my mom called.. exactly i called her coz usually she's d one who calls..so dis time i called her first.. we talk many things as usual.. but then there's something dat not in our usual conversation.. they (my mom n dad) talk bout couple.. eheheheh mayb they suspect i hav bf or something like dat.. ermmm i dont know they object bout dis or not.. coz wit both of my bros.. they object my bros couple.. but when talk bout couple wit me.. seems like a bit different.. ermm x kan la kan.. ermm acteli i dont like couple.. it's not i object it.. but it seems dat there's other way.. ok after dis.. wutever i say(i mean write) here..is my own opinion.. it's not dat dont like d ppl who do dat k.. juz personal opinion.. no offend k..eheheheh :D i acteli dont like couple.. coz b4.. i thout couple is juz being wit d one we love.. rite? well.. it's basically rite.. but when they do or did all sorts of thing dat i really cant stand..ermm like holding hand.. n stuffs like dat...n i know it's 'normally' exceed dat limit.. i juz cannot 'like' couple... u know wut i mean.. well.. b4 i really dont mind.. i thout ppl wont go overboard bout dis.. but..(i really dont wanna say dis.. but..) well.. i believe ppl always think wut's d best for them.. n wont do anything dat will destroy themselves.. ppl called it crazy when they do.. but when emotion involved..(i think ppl called it emotion but i think it's juz lust<--i know it's juz bad of me..) ppl seems dat cant think well n do somthing dat they think will benefit them.. i know n mayb ppl will say dat i'm tooooo simple-minded.. well i take dat as compliment.. but wut i think is.. y do ppl let lust or so-called emotion control their mind? we juz need to think wisely.. we only hav one life.. n dats wut we're going to present to our Lord.. n dats life we need to carry on altho we alone..kite cacat ke.. our parents dead(na'uzubillah).. we're being captured.. we cant start our life over.. we juz need to continue.. juz y ppl always dont care wut happen to our dis only one life??? dis life.. we wont get any 2nd chance.. cam satu ayat yg always in my mind these afew days.. it's not sekadar yg kite mampu.. tp sehabis yg kite mampu.. heih..*sigh*..

one thing dat on my mind.. we're on our journey.. sometimes we forgot wut's our really objective.. ermm juz like.. when we go to city centre.. eheheheh it's alwys happens to girlz.. we acteli wanna buy ermm mayb stationery.. then we go to arndale.. ehehehe then.. along d way.. we may go to kedai kasut la.. then mayb go to arndale market la.. (if ade bujet la..:p) in d end sometimes.. we get to buy those stationery we need but also bought other thing.. but sometimes we forgot wut we're supposd to buy.. then.. bile sampai bilek ke.. kite tepuk kepla... "alaaaaa..... lupe nk beli tuuuutt...tuuuutt..."i believe some ppl may look at this matter as 'remeh jek..' tp acteli.. it's applied to our whole life.. huh.. i'm not juz say to others.. but also to me.. i always remind myself.. we acteli alone in dis world.. wut i mean is wut ever we do.. we gain pahale or dose for ourselves.. not for others except for a few things.. so wutever we do.. we hav to decide ourselves n receive any consequences..meaning being responsible toour action.. no one will cover it for us.. n only God wit us.. so juz believe in urself n God.. T-T when i talk bout dis.. i feel like i'm being selfish(sad n hurt).. see ya..

misz those dayz..uhuhuhuhuhuuhuu..

a bit in blue~~

I dont wanna cry - mariah carey

Once again we sit in silence
After all is said and done
Only emptiness inside us
Baby, look what we've become
We can make a million promises
But we still won't change
It isn't right to stay together
When you only bring each other pain

[Chorus]
I don't wanna cry
Don't wanna cry
Nothing in the world
Could take us back
To where we used to be
Though I've give you my heart and soul
I must find a way of letting go
'Cause baby, I don't wanna cry
Too far apart to
Bridge the distance
But something keeps us
Hanging on and on
Pretending not to know the difference
Denying what we had is gone
Every moment we're together
It's just breaking me down
I know we swore it was forever
But it hurts too much
To stay around

[Chorus]
All the magic's gone
There's just a shadow
Of a memory
Something just went wrong
We can't go on make-believing

[Chorus]

uhuhuuhuhuhuuh.. do u know y i post dis lyric? ermm mayb coz i feel a bot melancholic..uhuhuhuhu sedih r.. now i know somethin dat i think it's a bit too much for me.. ermm houw shld i put dis.. ermm a few days ago..i knew somethin dat i cant accept.. i still rite now still dont believe it.. korg mesti nk tau kan? eehehehheheh well.. i cant say it clearly.. but it's acteli not my prob..but i still cant close my eyes n say nothing bout dis.. u know i'm not like dat.. but i'm not d kind dat will say it clearly at dat instant.. uhuhhuhhuhhuuuh.. well.. next time i'll tell u..:p going to watch anime..ehehehhe

Take dis survey from syud~~ ehehehe..

waaa.... i took dis survey from syud's blog... looks interesting but actually.. i dont feel like digging my own mind to write somethin in dis blog.. eheheh juz njoy..:p

- How many people on your friends list are your exes?
none...

- What's your favorite city?
manchester...

- When was the last time you saw your mom inperson?
on jun 2004.. uhuhuhuh wanna go home..:p

- Who got you to join Friendster?
hmmmm.....xigt dah..
- What did you have for dinner last night?
ermm.. nasik lemak.. eheheh best2

- do you have celebrities on your friends list?
ermm.. got a few liek their names.. but i dont think they're real thing..:p

- What's the last thing you said out loud?
"kak nuyu.. jgn tido.. mkck jah nk dtg jap lagik.."

- Look to your left. What's there?
my hp

- What is the last thing/person you spent overRM100 on?
in pnds is it? ermm.. beskal baru beli td.. eheheheh

- Who's your favorite villain?
eerrrrrmmmm..:p

- What's the last piece of clothing you borrowedfrom someone?
ape ek.. tudung kot..

- What word makes you laugh no matter where,when or how it is said?-
got a lot but forgot wut is it..eheheheheh

-What website do you visit the most during theday?
yahoo mail...torrent website.. anime website..

- Go into your text message log on yourphone...what does the last message say?
cant write it down coz..ehehehe secret:p

- Do you have plants in your room?
yup

- If you could drink anything right this second,what would be?
orange juice

- Last piece of e-mail opened:
something bout mcot..

- Does anything hurt on your body right now?
my butt..eheheeheh

- What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
manchester

- Last alcoholic drink?
none

- If someone you hated died, would you laugh andspit on their grave?
of course no..

- Do you own a picture phone?
yup..

- What were you doing last night at 9?
layan internet..uhuhuhuhu

- What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
forgot wut it's called...

- Do you exercise as much as you should?
ermm..mayb half of it.. ehhehhehe i really want to..

- Would you give your bf/gf a second chance ifthey cheated on you?
nope(confidently replied).. coz i know i kinda put my pride b4 me..

ermm.. uhuhuuhuhuuh.. kinda boring le plak survey nih.. uhuuhuhuhuhu.. xpe la sekali sekali<---mmg jrg giler.. ahahhahah x pnah rase nk jwb survey but now.. waiting for my brownies!! yumm..yumm.. ehehheeh best syud.. skrg nih tgh masak brownies my own version.. ehehehe

sad n upset enuf to make me ignore u!!

huh!! human r really weird.. n wicked!! sape ek? heih... it's like dis.. i really dont like putting myself into others' trouble.. but if they need my help.. i'll always b there 4 u!! but dont 'misuse' me plzzzz.... i'm not some tools dat u can toss away if u dont need me n beg me if u need somethin from me.. it's not i'm asking for reward or somethin like dat.. but let me state dis clearly.. i hav feeling too.. plz consider my feelign as well.. not telling me d truth but still need me is really disgusting!!!!!! do u know how upset i m bout dis?????? while i was watchng narnia n at dat moment.. it's suppossd to be happy part.. i feel like crying!! i helpd u comply bcoz u need help n dont wanna see my fren troubled by somethin dat i can help.. n also coz 'lillahi ta'ala.. juz simply like dat.. but dis's getting me sick!! i really dont wanna dis.. i now.. i believe everything ppl said to me.. altho anyone.. simply put i'm easily being tricked by anyone.. but......(speechless) when u did dat to me.. huh.. so someone plzz tell me wut to do.. my way of doing somthin is simple.. if u get lost, then u need some1 to show u d rite way.. if u dont know, then ask.. if u do wrong, then ask for forgiveness.. if u do somthin rite, then u'll be blessed.. it's juz simple as dat.. is it hard for u to consider my feeling? do along d way b4 u jus consider me as ATM(wut a funny way to give example..:p).. u come to me when u broke.. then u left me wit nothing when u get somethin from me.. btol la kan? cam ATM la kan..:D wokeh la.. i dont wanna talk further bout dis.. i know dat person wont read dis blog..(i shouldnt write dis thow).. <-- n i'm happy bout dis..:D wokeh la oyasumi nasai!! ja ne..

Story 4 2day....

uhuhuuhuhuuhuh..... story 4 2day? ermmm juz finishd burn cite to cds.. n dont knwo wut to do.. also juz sent an email to mcot mailing list bout daurah 2morrow.. uhuhuhuhuhu.. td fizah amal n azu came.. they juz wanna c my house n kak mum.. :p then fizah said i hav changed.. ermm dont know wut's dat mean.. is it gud or bad? ermm acteli i dont like when ppl said i changed.. coz (ermm i dont knwo y..) havnt thout bout it.. but when ppl said like dat.. mayb it's d truth.. hermm.. dis afternoon.. i went to cinema wit kak nuyu.. juz temankan dier tgk narnia.. well.. i watchd it b4.. but i pormised her..;p in d middle of d story.. i feel sad.. i dont know y.. i feel like crying.. i nvr cry without reason b4.. but i really feel sad.. even now(but i dont feel like crying now).. :D if i gonna say i felt sad coz of d movie.. d movie isnt sad at all.. i think it's not from movie.. eheheehehhe.. PMS kot.. hermm.. let's talk bout something else.. ah.. kak mum worried bout who wanna stay wit us next yr.. uhuhuhuuh.. coz besma n kak nuyu will b going home for good next yr.. n we got 2 rooms empty then.. hermm.. kak mum really thinks hard bout it.. ahahahha but for me.. it's doesnt matter.. well insyaAllah we can find some1.. aha.. i dont know when.. but i found one kind of fashion dat really make me upset.. dat time i was on d bus.. then i didnt realize at first but then when a girl dot out from d bus.. i cant believe my eyes.. she was wearing hijab(tudung n juz like kak nuyu's) but wit skirt paras lutut.. n boot.. well.. i dont know if 'some1' came up wit new mazhab<---- dis sentence shows dat i'm really upset bout it.. i know dat diff mazhab got diff explaination for aurat.. but then i havnt heard or seen or read bout any mazhab dat lutut is not aurat.. uhuhuhuhuuhu how we gonna live 'happily' like dis.. if kafir know bout it.. they will laugh bout it n say how weak Muslims are.. i really dont know wut to say.. :(( ermm wokeh la.. wanna study lak.. :p gonna strike for d best dis sem.. eheheheheh mata ne

Heaven - Nu Flavor

First time I saw you girl,
You turn me upside down
I can't stop thinking bout you
My head is spinning round
I got to find away to get with you somehow
Girl I'm so crazy for you
You know I want you now

And everyminute of every single day
I'm dreaming of how it could be
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

Chorus
Heaven, heaven oh heaven
can't you help
I looked in her eyes now she's all I see
Heaven oh heaven
can't you help me
I'm down on my knees
please help me

Cant fall alseep tonight
I don't know what to do
I hold my pillow but
I wanna be holding you
And when close my eyes
I always see your face
I know my happiness is only kiss away

And every hour here in the dark
Everyday of my lonely heart
Tells me that I need to be with you
Heaven oh heaven what can I do

Chorus
Heaven, heaven oh heaven
can't you help meI
'm giving my love for eternity

Heaven oh heaven
can't you help me
I'm down on my knees help me
I'd give anything if you were here with me

Give anything you want
and anything you need
I never thought that
I could feel the way I do
But now I wanna spend the rest of my with you

And every day that we are apart
I'm shedding this love here in my heart
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

Chorus
Heaven, heaven oh heaven
cant you help me
I looked in her eyes now shes all I see
Heaven oh heaven
cant you help me
I'm down on my knees
please, heaven

Heaven....(repeat until fade)

kakoii dashou??

My head juz keep spinning..uhuhuhu

yo!! acteli dis is juz smbgn fromd previous post.. ermm i think i'm going to write more in dis blog.. coz d holiday's juz started.. n dont know wut to do except readng manga.. watching anime.. studying.. coz no class.. yot's going to spain.. besma's going home.. kak mum's going to PMS.. syud n dayah r so far away.. uhuhuhuhu:p so lazy to go there.. but i'm soooo bored.. i ask kak nuyu to go to cinema.. but then.. there's no time for us.. n it's juz 2 of us.. uhuhuhuuh x best r... waaaaa:(( wut i'm going to do???? from previous post.. how should i put dis.. i'm tired of ppl dat juz think full of them self.. do they realize dat wutever they did or doing.. are going to affect other ppl.. it's not dat they can live ignoring ppl around u.. it's true dat i told u dat we cant shut ppl mouth.. but we live in community.. in d future u're going to live in community.. u got to know how treat ppl around u.. how to live so dat u wont hurt them in a way they wont get it back at u.. once some1 told me.. wut's d point of being good to ppl when they hurt u...so it's better u hurt them first.. huh.. dat's soooo damn stupid.. huh.. how can i make u realize dat??? it doesnt need any ustazah or ustaz to explain in religious way.. it's juz logical.. y i said it's stupid? u'll nvr know who u're going to met in d future.. n u'll nvr know ppl around u now r going to b wit u in d future.. if u said it's better u hurt them first b4 they hurt u.. then how u're going to live wit them.. wit those who u juz met.. n those who u 'll be meeting wit.. u'll nvr know they r going to hurt u or be good to u.. huh(dis time.. a really big sigh) i know dat person said dat to me long a go.. n mayb dat person already forgot bout it.. but wut i saw or witnessing now is as dumb as d statement above.. huh.. it's really make u pitiful.. huh.. membebel pnjg giler nih.. i know i shouldnt be talking bout dis.. coz it's bout certain ppl's personal life.. but i cant juz leave it like dat.. they r my fren.. wut's d use of fren if they're juz watching u while u're going into deep dark 'life'.. huhuhuhuhu.. wokeh la dah byk dah merepek nih.. time to stop n give a break to my head.. it's feel like my head's gonna explode.. ahahhhaa.. till next time, mata ne!! :p

yay!!!

uhuhuuhuhuhh.. juz found syud's blog.. waaaa ureshi..ureshi..(dgn gaye gedik cam dlm anime.. ahahhahaha) hampeh giler syud.. kerek ngan saye.. xpe2.. uhuhuhu (altho her blog's full of surveys.. not anything like blog thingy..) ahahahhah it doesnt matter..:p huh.. rite now feel soooo hungry but... sooooooooooo lazy to cook.. n feel like wanna rite somethin ere.. if anyone realize.. i think no one realize dis acteli.. when i feel like writing in dis blog.. meaning dat i've been troubled wit something.. coz usually i treat my probs like somethin events in my life.. if i get a prob then.. at certain time i'll think bout it..do somethin bout it.. n dat's it.. i'll nvr think bout it all day long..24/7.. no!! it's juz doesnt suit me.. eheheheh.. events<--dis is influence from digital system design II.. uhuhuuh it's mean dat something happens.. my life got distracted.. n after dat it juz become history n dat's it.. :D.. ahahaaha cam complicated lak.. :p xpe laa.. huh.. i'm lost in explaination.. ahahah acteli now wut i wanna say is.. my prob rite now is not usual prob.. it get me thinking bout it 15/5..<--- ahahahha i dont wanna say 24/7..coz it's too extreme.. ermm.. well i dont wanna state it ere wut's d prob is.. but if dat person read dis.. he/she will know.. dier akan tau saye tujukan mende nih utk dier.. coz i juz confide in him/her.. uhuhuhuh dis is bout life.. if u think u already give up on life.. then u dont hav any right to live as human.. juz give ur life to baby who died early..(it's not right to say this) but i really upset rite now.. huh.. kak mum's calling me.. coz she cooked something special.. eheheh ebst2.. coz Besma's going home tomorrow.. eheheh tq kak mum.. n i'm going to miss u besma.. ehehehe mata ne

Sejak jd exco mcot nih..

yo!! ehehehehhe.. konichiwa.. uhuhuhuhuhu semlm first meeting exco.. buat kat umah kak rory.. well i'm not one of exco mcot.. feel like big huh? ehehehhe not really..coz i was voted bcoz no one from rusholme came to agm except eza n jun(they are rep from mssm).. uhuhuuhuh well.. if i do my job well.. there's nothing to worry bout rite? eheheheheh.. i slept longer last nite.. myb coz i'm tired.. uhuhuh ye la.. from yesterday morning i woke up early to cont cook for gerai mcot.. then.. went to the food fair (selling the food).. then went back home to cook for kak mum..( coz she was fasting yesterday n juz came back from seeing her doc) then went for exco meeting.. uhuhuhhuuh.. i arrivd home bout at 1030 pm.. uuuuhuhuhh quite late huh? heih.. on d way home.. i met dayah.. wow!! she juz got back from her schooll..SO LATE???? rajin kan? uhuhuhuhuhu... compare to me.. ermmm lately i bcome lazy to go to univ.. well myb bcoz we already finishd our silibuz.. ehehehehheh but dat's not d reason u dont hav to go to school rite? wermmm... sedih kan cma nih.. mase awal2 sem dulu.. i swear to bcome hardworking n 'nice'..uhuhuhuh but :(( .. xpe la... isk.. i knew syud got her own blog.. i read b4.. but i didnt put itin my fav folder.. then.. now she seems get her blog updated.. waaaaa... syud i wanna read ur blog.. but she doesnt wanna give d add.. she said find it on my own.. waaa syud.. it's not fair.. ceh.. xpe2.. wokeh la.. i acteli wanna go to city centre.. but then.. the weather's so 'nice' to let me do nothing.. ahahhahha coz i need to renew my contract wit o2.. n it's due 2day.. wokeh.. kene g gak nih.. chayiokk.. oklaa mata ne..

First pic in our house..(sempena raye la..)

Must-see: Narnia n Doom..

yo!! ehehehehhehe.. last nyte i watchd narnia n doom.. wow!! really awsom.. u guys shld watch it.. som1 told me dat narnia's not dat great.. well i think it's depends acteli.. cos it's subjective rite.. som ppl said harry potter's great but i think it's not dat great compare to 1 2 n 3rd movie... ehehehhhehe.. doom's really great!! one thing i really like is the graphic.. really look real thing.. ahahahhaha but those who cant stand to blood or 'seangkatan dgn nye'.. xyah la tgk..:p ermmm dah r psl movie.. ehehehehh :D som1 told me dat my status in ym n msn messenger are creepy.. ahahahhaha i'm not dat 'jiwang' acteli.. those words are from cartoon or books or internet.. it's not i create.. eheehhehehe mcm status saye kat msn tu.. tuh saye amik dr cartoon yg kak mum tgk pg2.. ehehehe sori ek kak mum..:p eh one thing christmas market!! wow.. plz include it in ur must-go places list.. ahahahhah saiko daa.. wokeh la.. dat'sit for 2day... wanna do laundary.. ehehheh altho not much clothes.. eheheh mata ne..

I Miss You

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you I miss you)
(I miss you I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

long tyme no c..huhuhuhuhu

Ah... juz feel a lil bit blues...uhuhuhuhuuh.. juz watchd daddy long legs...uhuhuhuuhuh waaaa when 'she'<--- the heroin of course.. when she juz found out her daddy long leg.. dat's where i feel like crying.. but i didnt cz i know dis is a sad movie so coldnt get myself cry.. dont know y.. eheheheh well.. alaa. juz like when we know wut's happen next in horror movie.. so we wont be scared... ahahhahha ermm.. waaaa wanna watch horror movie.. uhuhuhuhu.. i redload a tale of 2 sisters.. coz i feel of all the horror movie i wtchd.. a tale of two sisters really get me scared to death... ahahhah really wanna watch it again.. n promise kak nuyu n besma.. we're going to watch it when kak nuyu finish her essay.. ehehehehe haaa... i havnt rite anything ere since sept rite? ahahhaa sori bout dat coz first thing.. we didnt hav internet connection b4.. second i cant rite wut i wanna write.. u know.. blogis abut write wut's on our mind rite? but the thing is.. i cant write wut's on my mind b4.. hehehehhe now the thing is settled... n it juz flew out from my mind.. ehehehhehhe wokeh.. dat's it.. last thing.. wanna say--> it's good tu be 'home'.. ehehhe TADAIMAK.....mata ne..