Assalamualaikum wrt..

yupp!! i'm lazying around rite now.. feel nothing to do but then really hav a lot of hw to do acteli.. huhu.. u know.. i dreamt 4 nites in a row bout going back home.. i guess i really miss home altho i wont admit it.. eheheheh more i dont wanna think bout it.. more it comes to my restless-long sleep!!!.. uhuhhuuhuhu huishh.. wut m i talking bout???

as usual.. weekend, i spend my days in my room.. feel a bit cold but its comfortable enuf for me.. eheheheheh acteli i was planning to change some of d stuff in my room.. ehehehehhe but really so lazy to work out my tulang 4 kerat.. ahahahhaa huh*sigh*.. these days r really hard.. i dont know wut to do.. i'mnot a robot n i'm not an animal.. i know dat.. i dont know how long i'll be living.. i dont know wuts my last thing dat i'll be doing b4 i die... dat's all in Allah's hand... i know i hav works to do.. my head keep telling me dat i hav to do dat..i hav to do this.. but i dont know wuts make me dis bad... i always ask Allah for strength.. but myself, i nvr try to use d 'strength dat HE gave me..i really hope He wont stop giving me d strength.. uhuhuhhuhuhu *really feel so low of myself*

i spent about 45 pnds only for ink for printer only in dis month.. n i only got 1/2 of d allowance dat i supposd to get.. huhuhuuhuh.. i hav to watch carefully to my budget.. i havnt shop for clothes for a long time.. well dat's not in my interest acteli.. d last cloth i bought is when i'm in ds2.. from lele.. d4 dat is in ebay 2 month ago.. ahahahhaa.. not a girly type am i?? ahahhaha well i dont care.. these days.. i like to ware 4 layers of clothes.. first layer is sleeveless shirt.. then long-sleeve shirt then.. a not-too-thick sweater wit hook.. then my long black coat.. wear it either wit my denim jeans or denim skirt.. ahahhaha i think i wear dat kind of fashion about 4 times a week.. ahahhahahah realy comfortable dat now's still so cold outside.. ;p

dat's all for now.. jazakillah..

my turning point...

Assalamualaykum wrt..

it's really hard if u wanna change.. altho u wanna change from bad to good.. but it's really hard.. dat's d situation i'm in rite now.. i know how bad i was b4.. n i think i am rite now.. there're so many things i wanna do n leave.. but wit i am rite now.. it's a miracle!! i wanna b good.. i already got d hidayah.. so i'll use all my strength to change.. huh.. all i do is talking rite? i wont change juz by dat.. huhuhuhuh..

i went to liverpool yesterday n juz got back dis afternoon.. we(me plus kak asyif, am, nawar, zatil, ain, along, inayah) stayed at cik yah's house.. we had usrah.. ate 2gether.. n salat 2gether.. i really long for dat kind of environment among my frens.. but i know.. it's quite hard.. but it's not impossible for it to happen rite?.. uhuhhuuhu.. i started to study 40 hadith.. i feel like really poor.. coz i know nothing.. i barely remember sentences in al-Quran.. n i know very few hadiths.. how can i live with dis very lil' knowledge?? in one of a book i read recently.. Imam Ghazali said dat.. u cant go amar makruf nahi mungkar till u 1. berlemah lembut dgn ape yg hendak diseru n dicegah.. 2. berilmu dgn ape yg ingin diseru n dicegah.. 3. adil dgn ape yg ingin diseru n dicegah.. hmm... n i rite now? hav no right to tell ppl wut's wrong n wuts rite.. but dat's my objective in life.. d me rite now's d worst.. i know dat.. i really wanna change dat.. all i can do are learn everthing dat i need to know n ask for Allah's guidance.. it'll be fine.. "Allah will help those who's helping Allah in Islam.." i'll always hold to dat words.. Allah's words are always true..

insyaAllah.. for those who always stay by my side.. i'm very grateful to u.. n only Allah can reward u.. tq.. muaahsss

these days...

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i dont know wut happen to me these days.. juz feel like i'va waste so many time n cant get enuf of it??? astaghfirullah hal 'azim.. y hav i been so ungrateful??? feel so shame of myself n sooo guilty.. oh God.. plz forgive me.. i juz got back from ds2.. basically it's a big usrah(circle).. given by ustaz.. well.. acteli it was a big shock for me.. after heard all those things there.. y? ermm.. coz i juz knew something dat i should know..but nvr realize it b4.. how foolish i am.. D Mercifull God gave me more than enuf time to enjoy my time.. but...

i really grateful to God.. dat i've been sent here.. coz i can learn all these.. n i really wanna change my life.. so dat i can give my 100% to da'wah.. my rezki is in Allah's hand.. He will give whenever He wants.. n take it back whenever He wants.. mayb some ppl will say dat it's extreme dat i've enter dis kind of world.. b4 i wld say like dat to those ppl.. but now i really regretted it.. i'm really sorry..
as u heard n saw(mayb).. karikatur dat insulted Rasulullah had been published.. i really shocked heard dat.. i nvr see d karikatur.. now dis kind of attack they wanna give us? r u really dat desperate? N as u know.. dis is also God's test.. He's testing our iman.. even if there's a tiny dot in our heart.. it will be hard to weep it away.. but Allah loves us.. even we dont do wut He says.. He still gives us rezki.. still let we live in His world.. but still.. there're ppl who juz 'dont wanna' realize this thing.. juz take for granted all these things.. how can u do dat??? Rasulullah begged Allah to put all his ummat's sin on his shoulder.. but Allah rejected d request.. do u know y Rasulullah did dat? Coz he loves us.. even our parents or lovers.. anyone.. wont do things like dat.. even Rasulullah nvr meet us.. even there're ppl who ignore insult-Rasulullah-thing in his ummat.. Subhanallah.. Rasulullah lived his life to deliver kalimatullah to us.. n we live..even born in Islam.. bcoz of Rasulullah.. we even didnt grateful to him n Allah??? wut kind of human we wld be?

i juz cant be silent bout dis.. i want ppl to realize.. Allah's watching us.. He knows everything.. even when we're alone.. we know dat.. we always say dat.. but we nvr realize wut's d meaning of it.. it means dat.. we cant lie.. we cant pretend to b good.. we hav to do wut He says.. wutever in our hearts He knows everything.. owh.. God.. i always ask for strength.. i always ask for guide... but i'll nvr get them if U doesnt help me.. plzzz help me go thru dis life.. i'll do my job while i'm in Ur world.. juz help me.. i cant askhelp from anything else.. coz U're d only one whose Mighty..U're d only one who hav everything.. plzzz help me.. plzz dont turn Ur back on me..

also my bro..wit his proud car

my bros..