these days...

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i dont know wut happen to me these days.. juz feel like i'va waste so many time n cant get enuf of it??? astaghfirullah hal 'azim.. y hav i been so ungrateful??? feel so shame of myself n sooo guilty.. oh God.. plz forgive me.. i juz got back from ds2.. basically it's a big usrah(circle).. given by ustaz.. well.. acteli it was a big shock for me.. after heard all those things there.. y? ermm.. coz i juz knew something dat i should know..but nvr realize it b4.. how foolish i am.. D Mercifull God gave me more than enuf time to enjoy my time.. but...

i really grateful to God.. dat i've been sent here.. coz i can learn all these.. n i really wanna change my life.. so dat i can give my 100% to da'wah.. my rezki is in Allah's hand.. He will give whenever He wants.. n take it back whenever He wants.. mayb some ppl will say dat it's extreme dat i've enter dis kind of world.. b4 i wld say like dat to those ppl.. but now i really regretted it.. i'm really sorry..
as u heard n saw(mayb).. karikatur dat insulted Rasulullah had been published.. i really shocked heard dat.. i nvr see d karikatur.. now dis kind of attack they wanna give us? r u really dat desperate? N as u know.. dis is also God's test.. He's testing our iman.. even if there's a tiny dot in our heart.. it will be hard to weep it away.. but Allah loves us.. even we dont do wut He says.. He still gives us rezki.. still let we live in His world.. but still.. there're ppl who juz 'dont wanna' realize this thing.. juz take for granted all these things.. how can u do dat??? Rasulullah begged Allah to put all his ummat's sin on his shoulder.. but Allah rejected d request.. do u know y Rasulullah did dat? Coz he loves us.. even our parents or lovers.. anyone.. wont do things like dat.. even Rasulullah nvr meet us.. even there're ppl who ignore insult-Rasulullah-thing in his ummat.. Subhanallah.. Rasulullah lived his life to deliver kalimatullah to us.. n we live..even born in Islam.. bcoz of Rasulullah.. we even didnt grateful to him n Allah??? wut kind of human we wld be?

i juz cant be silent bout dis.. i want ppl to realize.. Allah's watching us.. He knows everything.. even when we're alone.. we know dat.. we always say dat.. but we nvr realize wut's d meaning of it.. it means dat.. we cant lie.. we cant pretend to b good.. we hav to do wut He says.. wutever in our hearts He knows everything.. owh.. God.. i always ask for strength.. i always ask for guide... but i'll nvr get them if U doesnt help me.. plzzz help me go thru dis life.. i'll do my job while i'm in Ur world.. juz help me.. i cant askhelp from anything else.. coz U're d only one whose Mighty..U're d only one who hav everything.. plzzz help me.. plzz dont turn Ur back on me..