some sentences for u~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i copy n paste this from jdorama.. titled dragon zakura.. really hav deep meaning!!

"You'll continue to lose all your life."

"Come down here ! We'll kill you !"

"Teachers are teachers and students are students. Hear to what people are saying until the end !!! You won't beat me to death ! I mean "lose" by the fact that you will be cheated.
If you continue like that, all your life, you will be cheated."

"We will be cheated ? Why ? By who?"

"Our society has rules. You must follow these rules and all these rules are written by intelligent people. And what does it mean ?
These rules are written by the most intelligent people and they make use of them. Since stupid people aren't able to understand these rules, they will be hidden things.
These rules will continue to serve these intelligent people. For example, taxes, salaries, insurances, allocations.. all these intelligent people will continue to make them incomprehensible.
And stupid people will only have to try to understand their meaning. You all think that thinking is bothering. So, all your life, you'll be cheated and you'll pay a lot ! Let's admit it..."

"But it can't be helped !"

"Intelligent people will take benefit of this situation, and stupid people will be cheated and lose. That's how our society works. So, if you don't want to be cheated, if you don't want to lose, study !"

n after a few conversations after that.. there're a few sentences that i like.. (note: Todai univ is one of the top univs in Japan.. ermm juz like cambridge la..perbandingan jek ek..;p)

"What do want with "Todai" ? It's enough with "Todai"."

"Do you hate Todai ?"

"Yeah, like everybody else here."

"Me too."

"Ah?"

"Those who are in admiration in front of the word "Todai" make me cast. Those who think there will be success, just because they entered Todai, those who feel small when they learn the guy who is in front of them is from Todai are meaningless."

"So, why do you tell us to go to Todai ?"

ahhhh... the conversations r too long.. toooooo lazy to copy n paste all those sentences.. eheheheh well i like the conv above coz.. i find the attitude is very brave.. very a few ppl like this.. if u hate something but u hav to overcome it.. most of us will find any other way to face it.. but this minority ppl face it directly.. well i agree that it's the most fastest way.. but do we hav the gut to face it directly? hmm.. juz wondering lorr.. wassalam

we r pathetic~

assalamualaikum wrt

time exist bcoz there's ending to it

we got sick bcoz we hav body

we live bcoz we'll die someday

we lie bcoz we'll b discovered

we do bad things bcoz we'll b punished

we do good deeds bcoz we'll b awarded

we happy bcoz we exist

we sad bcoz we r pathetic

sometimes we dont realize that we r running away from our probs n troubles.. facing them will make we lose something.. so y? coz we also will gain something..

someone special

Assalamualaikum wrt..

kali nih tukar style lak ek.. ehehehehee.. tulih dlm bahase melayu lak.. (bior pon tajuk dlm bahase english.. keskeskes..) ermmm ckp psl someone special nih.. tertibe saye terigt.. kate2 someone nih.. serious saye x igt sape.. ehehehehee dier kate kite selalu nk pose sebaik mungkin depan kite nye someone special tu.. selalu nk get the best impression.. selalu nk kasi mende terbaik..

setgh org kate mende tu x elok.. sbb cam hypocrite.. kite bleh ke jd hypocrite? ermm mayb korg x bape stuju gune perkataan tu.. berlakon la kite kate.. korg akan berlakon ke depan si die? ermm mayb berlakon pon exergerate gak.. ermm camni2.. cnth nye la care korg ckp antare kwn.. kalo lain2 kwn korg layan same ke? kalo korg comfortable ngan someone tu.. korg akan layan same ngan org yg korg baru jumpe ke? mayb some of us will say that they treat ppl equally.. (isk kate nk tukar style..keskeskes..) tp kalo tanye saye.. saye akan jwb naturally org mmg hypocrite.. mayb ade a few la yg x.. tp most of us yess.. termasuk la saye..

i cant treat ppl equally.. kekdg saye x brape nk layan certain ppl tp kekdg saye layan diorg gak.. so kekdg saye rase saye mmg sgt jahat ar.. sgt hypocrite n sgt selfish.. owh jauh nye melencong dr mende sbenar saye nk ckp keskeskes..

kekdg saye pk tau.. nape kite x leh jd diri kite yg sbenarnye depan 'org tu'? sbb kite takut org tu tau mende x elok psl diri kite? nnt last2 dier akan tau gak.. nnt dier x suke kite? bukn sume org perfect.. xkan la kite nk adjust diri kite so that kite sesuai ngan dier? tp we cant avoid that rite?

wokeh la.. cukup la saye membebel kali nih keskeskes..wassalam mata ne

teka-teki~

Assalamualaikum wrt..
i got this from email yg lan social forward kat mcot yahoo group.. uhuhuuhuuh.. i heard these Qs b4.. but forgot bout this.. ehehehhe.. ape yg paling menusuk ke hati saye(chewah ayat bunge2 cam inayah n ain..:p) adalah the first 2 Qs.. ehehehee

# Apa yang paling dekat dengan kita di dunia?
# Apa yang paling jauh dari kita di dunia?
# Apa yang paling besar di dunia?
# Apa yang paling berat di dunia?
# Apa yang paling ringan di dunia?
# Apa yang paling tajam di dunia?

Pada suatu hari,Imam Al-Ghazali berkumpul dengan murid-muridnya,lalu Imam Al-Ghazali bertanya;pertama:"Apa yang paling dekat dengan kita di dunia?" Murid-muridnya menjawab,"Orang tua,guru,kawan dan sahabatnya".Imam Al-Ghazali menjelaskan semua jawapan itu benar. Tetapi yang paling dekat dengan kita adalah MATI!!! Sebab itu sememangnya janji Allah SWT bahawa setiap yang bernyawa pasti akan mati.(Al-Imran:85)

Lalu Imam Al-Ghazali meneruskan pertanyaan yang kedua."Apa yang paling jauh dari kita di dunia?" Murid-muridnya menjawab,"Negara China,bulan,matahari dan bintang-bintang".Lalu Imam Al-Ghazali menjelaskan bahawa semua jawapan yang mereka berikan adalah benar.Tapi yang paling benar adalah MASA LALU.Walau dengan apacara sekali pun kita tidak dapat kembali ke masa lalu.Oleh sebab itu,kita harus menjaga hari ini dan hari-hari yang akan datang dengan perbuatan yang sesuai dengan ajaran Islam.

Lalu Imam Al-Ghazali meneruskan dengan pertanyaan yang ketiga."Apa yang paling besar di dunia ini?". Murid-murinya menjawab,"Gunung, bumi dan matahari"."Semua jawapan itu benar",kata Imam Al-Ghazali.Tapi yang paling besar daripada apa yang ada di dunia ini adalah NAFSU (Al-A'araf:179).Maka kita harus berhati-hati dengan nafsu kita,jangan sampai nafsu membawa kita ke neraka.

Pertanyaan keempat adalah,"Apa yang paling berat di dunia ini?".Ada yang menjawab,"Besi dan Gajah"."Semua jawapan adalah benar",kata Imam Al-Ghazali.Tapi yang paling tepat adalah MEMEGANG AMANAH (Al-Ahzab:72).Tumbuh-tumbuhan,binatang,gunung dan malaikat semua tidak mampu ketika Allah meminta mereka untuk menjadi khalifah(pemimpin di dunia ini).Tetapi manusia dengan sombongnya menyanggupi permintaan Allah SWT,sehungga banyak daripada manusia masuk ke neraka kerana tidak dapat memegang amanahnya. Pertanyaan yang kelima adalah ,"Apa yang paling ringan di dunia ini?". Murid-muridnya menjawab,"Kapas,angin,debu,dan daun-daunan"."Semua itu benar",kata Imam Al-Ghazali.Tapi yang paling ringan di dunia ini adalah MENINGGALKAN SOLAT. Gara-gara pekerjaan,kita meninggalkan solat.Gara-gara bermesyuarat,kita meninggalkan solat.

Dan pertanyaan keenam ialah,"Apa yang paling tajam di dunia ini?".Murid-muridnya menjawab dengan serentak,"Pedang"."Benar",kata Imam Al-Ghazali.Tapi yamg paling tajam adalah LIDAH MANUSIA - kerana melalui lidah,manusia selalunya menyakiti hati dan perasaan saudaranya sendiri.

bengang x bertempat~~

Assalamualaikum wrt~

u gusy must b pelik.. hairan b ajaib.. uhuhuhuuhuuhuu ape la berlaku kat sheila ni ek.. keskeskes.. well i juz read d latest entry from hafizbar's blog.. (i dont wanna link the blog from mine coz i dont know him.. dat's not my style!! kukukukukukukuu..) hmm he wrote bout he met a few ppl that juz diverted to Islam.. n how ppl around them dont 'take a good care' of them.. kuang3x.. ape yg saye rase berasap n bengang.. n rase bengang dier tu x bertempat is.. coz he despised n ejek ppl who got upset bout Rasulullah's cartoon.. uhuhuhuuhuhuu.. ppl like him that i despised most.. y? coz kite kene la ade rase sensitive toward our religion's issue.. uhuhuhuuh if he's sooooo cooooooool bout the cartoon but upset bout girlz who like cute stuff.. he's not a real man.. i reallyyyyyyy hate that kind of guy..

one more thing that make me x leh rase usnuzon toward that guy.. he said that he stay cool when the issue came up.. n 'sit' calmly as that issue got nothing to do wit him.. cess... ahhh.. malas dah nk kesah psl dis guy.. juz waste my time to care bout him.. i dont care if he despised n mocked girlz like his previous entry.. i dont feel anything coz he's not a girl.. but if he feel so cool toward the cartoon issue.. i feel like my blood fill up my head.. y? coz he's a muslim.. ahh buang karan jek tulih psl that kind of guy..

huh.. woii study la!!! asyik dok bace blog jek.. dah abes study ke? keskeskes.. jgn amik ati... (juz remind myself..tp kalo terase.. x jamin..kuang3x) ja ne.. mata ne

i lub u fillah..wassalam

ppl are subjective~

Assalamualaikum wrt~~

some ppl come to me(ermm either personally or virtually.. kuang3x) n asking me whether i'm ok or not.. hmm well.. Our Greatest Lord made human wit various personality.. n i know this is my personality.. i've nvr cry in front of someone else b4..(as long as i can remember~u know that.. i 'lost' my memories from 2 yrs ago.. eheheh.. the reason y i cant cry in front the others..is i'm not a person who let my feeling out for nothing.. well~ for nothing tu bunyik cam x btol lak.. saye jenis yg simpan jek my prob n feeling.. dont know y.. but that's my personality..

i know that mayb some ppl might find this unthinkable..but i cant trust other ppl easily.. wut i mean is.. i cant trust mt feeling to other ppl.. ( sesape jgn take heart ngan ayat saye ek.. ) i've think bout this b4.. ere in dis world.. mayb some ppl take this for granted.. but we ere.. is about surviving among other ppl.. ppl might take this easy.. but it's hard task to do.. we live among our frens.. some ppl live by adjusting to the surrounding.. including to the personalities of their frens.. some other ppl arent like that.. i'm not in the rite place to judge this is right.. that is wrong... but i juz cant stand ppl who trying to adjust other ppl to synchronize to their compability..

any ppl cant live wit others who they arent comfortable to be wit.. but it's not our place to shape how the other's life.. uhuhuhuuhuhuu.. (penat saye pk how to express in words..) that's y i said that survival skill is very important.. but till now we live happily without paying attention to that.. paying attention to the fact that we r taking things for granted.. including our surrounding..

i think i wanna say something else.. but how come melencong sgt nih.. i've always avoid myself t talk bout this.. uhuhuhuhuuh xpe la.. ermm a moment ago.. this analogy popped up in my head..

kite hidop nih.. ibarat belayar.. it's depends on us how n where to.. but there's always wind to b our guide.. but there're also obstacles like storm.. but sometimes.. we might realize that we r heading to wrong direction.. so we r trying to turn back so that we can follow the rite track.. but its that easy.. plus.. we r alone on our boat.. mayb ade mende lain tlg kite.. cam current laut.. tp ngan dugaan plus.. a lot of efforts are needed to turn back.. *sigh*

wassalam..

comel giler kan~~ ehehehehee..suke giler gambar nih!!

plzzz ignore this entry...

Assalamualaikum wrt..

first.. i wanna clearly state that PLZZZZZ IGNORE THIS ENTRY N IF U WANNA READ SOMETHING.. READ THE ONE B4 THIS..

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
rite now really dont feel good.. dont know y.. someone said it's PMS but i know it's not(cam kak mum tulih we cant take it as an excuse) or mayb.. but i feel really depressed rite now.. juz for no reason.. tears came out.. n still come out rite now..

saye sengaje bukak lagu rock2.. supaye xdek lagu influence wut i feel rite now.. i juz dont feel rite.. i read somewhere.. kalo rase something dont feel rite.. or feel guilty.. tuh tande nye kite ade buat dose.. yessssss... mmg skrg saye baut byk sgt dose... tp kenape la saye xreti2 nk berenti n insaf????????????????????? nk tungggu ade balasan ke? nk tunggu sume bende x leh nk turn back ke??? every moment i spent.. i cant take it back.. n sume bende tu jd history.. we cant change history...

something is not rite!!!! who read dis.. plz dont ask me anything.. i'll respect u for that.. skrg nih saye rase hati saye nih.. cam kene ikat.. x tng.. ermm kene ikat tu analogy yg silap.. rase cam kene cucuk.. rase cam hati nih kene tarik2.. kenape?

nih tande org buat dose kan? saye kene taubat.. smyg byk2.. doa byk2.. but still.. it wont go away... feel like something is missing.. feel like i havnt complete something.. saye masih mencari2.. ape yg saye nak.. ape yg saye perlu.. saye dah buat ape yg ptt.. do i wanna lead my life this way? ni ke jln yg saye pilih?

Oh God.. plz forgive me.. plz forgive this little bad one..

longing for somethings..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

thnx to ppl who dont ask anything bout previous entry.. well i really need that ignorance.. ehehehehehe.. pelik kan? well.. saye mmg cam tu.. i dont want other ppl be bothered by my prob.. except the prob also affects others.. eheheheh peace brother!! eh.. peace sister!!(pelik lak bunyik nye..)

i've once told my frens(i remember 3 kot..:p) that humans all selfish.. wutever u deny it.. or how u're going to deny it.. plz read it to the end.. ehehehehehee.. (ade ke org bace ayat saye kat atas pastue terus x nk bace dah?..sukati ar) it happens to us.. no exceptional.. once there's ustazah who said that.. "ape kite nk kat dunie nih?.. kite nk bahagie.. kite nk idop sng.." well.. that's selfish.. i think selfish is we want something for ourselves..

ye la.. same la ngan org ckp.. kubur lain2.. or tempias kubur sbelah kene kat kite.. those all prove that we are selfish.. we be good to frens.. bcoz Allah suruh.. that's selfish.. coz we wanna be good side of Allah.. n including all we did n do.. we do good deeds.. coz we wanna be blessed.. we dont wanna do evil things bcoz we know we'll get the punishment sooner or later..

but sometimes ppl misunderstood this.. they thout they arent selfish..(we are selchicken..keskeskes..) y? coz they said that.. they did or do all those things with the other ppl in their mind.. no one is like that.. a person isnt selfish if he/she can gives up his/her life bcoz of someone else.. n i'll say that that person is crazy.. for someone who syahid.. they are also selfish.. coz they know they will get reward by doing so.. n they didnt do it bcoz of someone.. but bcoz of Islam..

well.. it's not that i'm convincing u guys to follow wut i believe.. but juz wanna throw out wut's on my mind..(bukn ke tu sbb org tulis blog? ke ade org tulis blog sbb nk makan? keskeskes.. ) ape2 pon kite kene amik dr al-Quran n Sunnah.. other's opinion.. u can reject it.. lenguh dah menaip.. wassalam..

suke giler gambar nih.. sbb tertangkap burung terbang.. keskeskes..

my bad...

Assalamualaikum wrt...

first of all.. i wanna say.. wutever i'm going to write ere.. should be kept to urself.. no Q.. dont spread it.. juz b natural k.. ehehehehhehe.. peace brother!!

i hate it when ppl expect me to be considerate to others.. while they're not..

i hate it when ppl ask me to keep secret.. while they're not..

i hate it when ppl ask me to be honest.. altho they're lying to themselves..

i hate it when ppl say they r humble.. while bragging bout themselves..

i hate it when ppl say we should be nice to the others.. while...(i juz cant bring myself to say that..uhuhuhuhu)

i think u already got the picture how i feel rite now.. i'm mad to someone.. cant tell u who.. b4 i always think how's an angry ppl feel.. n i always think bout how to calm down when i'm angry.. but when i become like that.. all things/methods that i can think about.. seems dont work.. uuhuhuhuhuhhuhu..

when someone ask u to do something.. plz say it clearly.. n dont add something that u dont usually do..ermm.. how should i explain it.. it's like.. when someone who cant keep secret..ask someone to keep a secret.. uhuhuhuuhu.. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.. cant get the rite mood to write something..:((

i'll write more next time.. c yaa..wassalam.. i lub u fillah

my review for a drama..

assalamualaikum wrt..

how r u guys? hope we r in kebestan iman.. ehehehhehe.. ermmm i found(not actually found but accidentally watched the first eps then.. keep going on..:D) a good drama.. well it's from korea.. ermm it's different from the other dramas.. coz first it's 52 eps.. ahahhaha byk giler kan.. kalo buat siri drama kat mesia.. about 4 bulan tu dok tyg cite tu jek.. it's about a very strong-willed girl.. survives as an orphan.. (well she's been adopted by a family..) it says that this is based on a true story.. where the girl was the first physician woman at that time..

in the drama.. makes me thinks that.. sometimes kindness can kill.. (b4 we only hear that curiosity can kills cat..) i dont know if we can apply that ere in our life.. kak asyif n am told me b4.. that in our world.. berhati-hati is a great deal.. there's a big gap btw to be careful n fear.. in doing somthing we're being b careful in preventing something bad.. but there're ppl who dont do it bcoz of fear.. uhuuhuuhuh.. we r not robot.. or dog.. doing something under anyone's command.. but Allah's only.. but He gave us nafsu.. let us decide by ourselves..

b4.. i always keep wondering.. y those good ppl(who r kafir..) or muslims who 'menyimpang'.. dont realize our responsibility.. n wut r the rite things.. n wut r the bad things.. but Allah says in His Kalam.. that to those ppl.. Allah put hijab in front of their eyes.. cover their ears.. the ayaat make me realize no one can give the permission for us to do anything even to lift our finger during tahiyyat.. but Allah s.w.t.. mende kecik cam tu pon Allah yg decide.. ape tah lagi mende jahat lain yg kite buat?? astaghfirullah hal 'azim..

i dont know how my drama review leh sampai cam ni skali.. xpe2.. well if u wanna something to watch.. i recommend this drama.. zaman i lub u.. u lub me.. dah lepas.. (skrg nih tgk cite org matured lak..)

i dont hav older sister.. i've been in hostel since form 4.. so i've survived so far.. by watching the others.. watching other older sisters.. watching frens.. learning from them.. ermm mayb u can say i've been influenced by surrounding all the way till 2day.. somethings that i cant find among them.. sometimes i found thru anime, manga, dramas, movies.. so when(if laa..) someone tell me to give up those things.. i find it very hard.. n for me now.. i cant.. so plz dont say directly to me.. to give up those things.. mayb i can do it one by one.. (kalo sekali gus.. same la ngan culture shock..:p)

dah nk masuk maghrib.. that's all for now.. (adeii sakit perut lak!!! makan nasik lemak sape ntah masak td..uhuhuuhuhu) i lub u fillah :x wassalam

me and myself..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i got this sentences from one of my frens.. but really touches me!! she aims those sentences to herself but.. uhuhuhuuhuhhuu..

dah ikut usrah ke hulu ke hilir pun, balik-balik duk sibuk buang masa, gelak ketawa tak ingat dunia, cakap dan tengok dan buat benda lagha bukan sekali-sekala. dah bedah buku muntalaq tapi perangai dah ada sikit-sikit macam da'ie ke? tak berani nak kata. orang macam saya ni ke nak tegakkan Islam? Quran berapa kali sehari saya buka dan baca dan cuba faham? ke berapa hari sekali? pakai pakaian lawa-lawa sebab imej Islam ke sebab memang nak melawa? ilmu dah banyak mana? insaf, insaf konon, pastu esok lusa buat lagi. da'ie? da'ie?? da'ie??? boleh la nak gelakkan diri sendiri. masih bergelumang dengan jahiliyah, nak jadi da'ie. jahiliyah macam chewing gum lekat kat kaki sendiri tak buang-buang lagi. buang karan naqib, naqibah je ada la kalau ilmu yang dicurah tak sampai ke hati.

muliakah hidupku ini?

i know that.. changing is not a very easy thing.. yet i say those words.. say that i wanna change.. but deep inside..i dont know whether i really change or juz me that hiding behind my own words... ppl around me may say that i'm different from b4.. yeah!! *smirk* it's not my place to judge whether i've change.. nor ppl around me..

also i dont wanna being hypocrite.. nor a survival among croc n tiger.. nor juz escapisme(is this a rite spell?)when i look back to wut i've done.. soo many things that i did.. but give a very little effect to the others.. then u may say that.. i've done wut i can.. but do we know wut's our limit? can we see the limit like we see our exam result? this is not an exam like our univ give us..

*hati tgh sakit skrg.. so xleh tulih lebih2.. kang ade korg dgr salah sorg kwn korg dimasukkan ke hospital sakit jiwe lak.. ehehehhehehe c ya.. wassalam

Epilog silam – haikal

Dalam mengenang kisah hidup silam
Ku sedar dari kesilapan lalu
Tuhan beratnya dosa-dosaku
Masihkah ada ampunan buatku

Tuhan...
Dalam menempuh hidup ini
Banyaknya dugaan datang menguji
Tuhan...
Ada yang dapatku gagahi
Dan ada yang gagal kuhindari

Tuhan...
Dosaku menggunung tinggi
Tapi taubatku tak kutepati
Tuhan...
Rahmat-Mu melangit luas
Terlalu sedikit kubersyukur

Kini kukembali pada-Mu
Mengharap maghfirah dari-Mu
Mogakan terampunlah dosa-dosaku
Biarpun ujian melanda
Ku tetap berkasih pada-Mu
Kerna kuyakin kasih-Mu
Kekal tiada sudahnya...

i really like this song.. hayati~~~laa the lyrics of the song.. really menyentuh hati..:D

Manchester's Malaysian nite..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

first of all.. i wld like to apologise to anyone.. if u read this entry.. will hurt u.. n give bad impression to ppl like.. it's not that i wanna jugde u from wut u did or do.. but this is all..100% my own opinion.. wit wut i believe.. n i want ppl around me notice wut r the consequences behind wut u did or do..:D ehehehheh cam formal lak gaye nye.. xdek ar.. lepak ar..

2nite.. mssm will held an annual activity.. like those previous yrs.. Malaysian nite.. well.. x salah if we wanna njoy ourselves.. wit frens.. n i agree that this is a great opportunity that we can meet our 'lost frens'.. ahahahhaa n also a great opportunity that we wanna show how our lifestyle.. how our culture.. to 'outside world'.. tp niat x menghalalkan care.. n we(islam) hav our own way utk berhibur.. islam doesnt forbide Muslims njoying ourselves.. but not too much.. we already know that.. in all things.. all fields.. kalo melampau or terlebih.. bring bad things back to us.. things happen in front of our eyes.. rite? ermm for example.. if 'we' smoke too much.. bad for our lungs.. if we eat too much.. we'll get obbesiti+other diseases.. plus many more.. u may say that wut u do or did.. x dikire melampau.. but there's no limit to our hawa'(nafsu).. nafsu kite x meletakkan any scale to how much we can njoy.. (tmbhn lak mende yg kite buat tu.. meng'excited'kan nafsu tu sendiri.. ) na'uzubillah himinzalik..

Allah put human on a very high level.. among His makhluk.. so dont lower ourselves.. to the level that He dont wanna bring us back.. Allah loves us very much.. till that in one of hadith says that.. Allah will always forgives till we get tired of making bad things.. tapi nak ke kite jd makhluk Allah yg x bersyukur ngan sume bende yg Allah kasi??.. Izrail will visits us 70 times a day.. in 'chances' that he will takes our life away.. but he once says.." aku hairan melihat manusia.. aku menjenguknya 70 kali sehari.. dgn kemungkinan akan mencabut nyawanya.. tp dier masih tersenyum.. bergelak ketawa.."

ape yg kite buat salah ngan mesian nite tu? melihat perempuan2 dgn nafsu sudah trg2an salah.. i'm not ere to judge.. but in al-Quran.. clearly stated.. "la taqrabuz zina.." ramai org tau ayat nih.. but how many ppl will realize that there's heavy meaning behind it.. (tp saye rase ayat tu sudah jelas2 sejelasnye..) can u imagine.. kite dilarang memakai perfume yg berkemungkinan meng'excited'kan org laki.. tu pon dose nye kite dikire berzina dgnnya... apetah lagi.. performing some art stuff in front of ppl bukn mahram.. bukn shj in front of muslims.. but non-muslims also.. those things will give impressions that.. this is our lifestyle.. this is our culture...

ppl.. look back to our own history.. if not us who will bring back our tamadun.. who else? our tamadun is soooo great.. till org puteh pon tiru pakai jubah mase grad.. bile lagi kite nk buat good deeds kalo bukn skrg? we may say that.. " ermm.. lepas nih la.." or "hidup masih pnjg.. lepas ni kite tobat ar..Allah Maha Pengampun n Maha Penyanyang.." but we hav to remember Allah also Maha Adil.. Allah will judges human on wut they did.. not only bcoz we r muslims.. astaghfirullah hal 'azim..

badan kite sehat.. tp sehat badan inilah yg kite bawe ke arah kemusnahannye.. nafsu kite degil.. tapi disebabkan nafsu yg degil inilah Allah letak kite lebih tinggi drpd malaikat.. hati kite lembut... tp disebabkan kelembutan itulah ia mampu dipengaruhi.. salamz..

dont know anymore..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i dont know anymore.. remember dat i wrote in one of the entries afew days ago.. i wrote that i wanna get married.. well.. hmmm...i dont know anymore.. i hav d desire bcoz of a few reasons.. n now certains reason...but not all.. not relevant anymore.. uhuhuhuhu camne ek.. uhuhuhuu i dont know wut to do anymore..

it's not that i wanna get married that badly.. it's juz i cant find other way to solve my things.. but since a few days ago.. some of the reasons(prob) hav been solved.. if another prob solved..i dont hav any reason y i shld get married.. b4 i even think of dont wanna get married.. dont know y.. uhuhuhuhuuhu i cant think bout this anymore..

i ask my bro.. that is it ok for me to get married early.. he said that now there r girlz that get married late.. bout 28/29.. huh.. there's a hadith.. i dont remember d exact sentence.. but its bout a gud woman is scaled in 3 things.. get married early.. has many children(but someone told me that it's hav child in early age) n low in 'mas kawen'.. hmmm... huh.. xnk ckp psl nih dah.. i think dis is d answer for my prob..(this marriage thingy..mayb i juz get carried away..:D)

for those who r really wanna c me get married early.. sorry!! i think i'll b one of ur fren that get married late.. ahahahha dont know y but i feel that it'll b like dat.. :p

wokeh la.. wanna do some revision b4 went to bed.. lub u fillah..

Mangse yg bersalah krn terlalu comel~~

Wanted!! perogol bersiri..

Gubra..salah satu tanda dunia menghampiri di hujung usia

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i juz got back from howarth st's house.. when i found out that there were so many ppl forwarding a link to blog.. ermmm faisal tehrani's.. bout a new film juz produced in Malaysia.. uhuhuhuhuu sedih giler wooo.. the film is a product from Yasmin Ahmad.. i dont know.. whether she juz wanna produce a film dat really a 'good' film n said dat.. will membuke mate masyarakat.. or juz wanna 'melariskan filem maka mencari ape yg masyarakat suke'.. i read somewhere.. said dat.. lebih sng menarik masyarakat menggunakan mungkar.. now it's proven rite? iskk... x best ar nk kutuk gune English nih.. wokehh..

saye mmg x tau ape niat or tujuan sbenar pencipta filem tu.. but tu adalah salah satu care nk menarik masyarakat ke arah suatu mende.. mmg la manusia nih fitrah nye ke arah kebaikan.. tp fitrah manusia juga cenderong ke arah keseronokan.. uhuhuhuhu.. "Menurut pengarah dan penulis filem ini, Yasmin Ahmad: Saya mahu paparkan tentang kisah dan sikap manusia yang biasanya selalu berada dalam keadaan gubra. Kerana gubra ramai di antara kita tidak reti untuk menghargai kasih sayang. Selain itu, mesej yang ingin saya sampaikan melalui Gubra ialah tentang kemaafan (Utusan Malaysia, 9 Ogos 2005)." dis i quote from faisal tehrani's blog.. from wut i read in his blog.. penerbit filem nih nk menayang filem or nk menyedarkan masyarakat.. bhw from her(YAsmin Ahmad) point of view... nih la masyarakat ISLAM skrg.. krn pelakon2 dlm filem tu trg2an beragama Islam dan dikehendaki melakonkan watak org Islam.. Astaghfirullah hal 'azim.. really du'a to God dat.. give her guidance n give her.. hidayah n forgiveness.. antara perkara yg amat menyeleweng drpd Islam.. adalah Bilal Li menyentuh anjing sebelum azan.. mmg ada mazhab yg mengatakan dibolehkan menyentuh anjing.. tp kalo dah sesaje cam tu.. x ke tu cume memuaskan kehendak diri.. kehendak hawa nafsu.. satu lagi.. yg si pelakon tu pegi sentuh atas arahan YAsmin Ahmad tu ape hal?? ade dalil yg menyentuh psl x boleh menyentuh anjing.. n dalil tu dtg nye drpd Allah.. our MIGHTY GOD.. apebile seseorg tu melakukan sesuatu atas arahan sesorg.. mendahulukan atau mementingkan perintah manusia itu berbndg perintah Allah.. makan itu sudah dikire mempertuhankan org itu.. ape igt Yasmin Ahmad tu ur god???? isk... geram giler..

saye mule bace blog tu dgn hati yg amat lembut.. ngan fikiran sedar bhw arus ini.. kejahilan sebegini biase di kalangan masyarakat Islam skrg.. terutame di Malaysia.. tp hati saye ttp terkejut dgn isi kdgn filem tu... ape yg lebih mengejutkan saye.. penerbit nye ISLAM... berbintikan Ahmad.. huh... kalo org bukn Islam yg menerbitkan filem sebegitu.. saye x kan terkejut sebegini krn mereka x blaja psl Islam.. mereka x paham psl Islam.. tp sbenarnye mereka(org bukn Islam tu..) lebih menghormati Islam jauh berbndg org yg mencetuskan idea filem ini dan juga org yg menerbitkan filem ni.. termasukla skali org yg berlakon.. krew2 sume la.. sbg org Islam.. apabile berlaku kemungkaran depan mate kite.. septtnye kite cegah.. sebgimane kite tau.. 3 peringkat tu.. tp 'org2' tu.. bukn setakat x cegah.. malah turut 'menjayekan' penerbitan filem tersebut.. saye rase hancur berderai hati saye bile membace beginilah realiti masyarakat skrg..

dlm hati saye berdoa dibukakan hati org2 yg terlibat.. amat berharap filem itu diharamkan.. diberi hidayah kpd mereka.. diampunkan dosa2 mereka.. *sedih inilah saudaraku.. dlm kegelapan.. terkapai2 mencari cahaye.. sehingga tersungkur jauh..ditambah pule dgn kesunyian hati yg digoda oleh musuh manusia sendiri*.. uhuhuhuuuhuh..

saya amat suke satu ayat drpd faisal tehrani..

"Kalau tak reti agama jangan syarahkan agama dalam filem.Jangan rosakkan orang."

amat pedas.. tp kalo kulit x terkupas.. malah amat tebal lak tu.. xkan sampai msg nye.. ni lah tugas umat Islam skrg.. ade satu pendpt drpd faisal tehrani dlm blog nye.. dier kate amar ma'ruf nahi mungkar tu ade pendpt kate tu fardhu 'ain.. dan ade kate fardhu kifayah.. fardhu 'ain tu kite mmg wajib.. so kite wajib la kene buat.. tp kalo fardhu kifayah.. kite skrg dah jatuh hukum wajib ke atas kite.. nape? sbb nye objective nye x tercapai lagi.. cnth nye kalau uruskan jenazah.. bg suatu kwsn.. kalo x dek sorg pon yg uruskan jenazah tu.. maka jatuh berdosa pd seluruh kwsn tu kan..n kalo ade wpon sorg yg buat.. terselamatla org2 tu.. tp kalo sorg tu buat tp x terdaya menyempurnakan nye.. still org2 yg terlibat berdosa.. kalo jenazah tu x disempurnakan objective nye.. maka jatuh la dosa pd org yg terlibat.. so same la ngan hal amar ma'ruf nahi mungkar tu.. kalo objective nye x disempurnakan lagi.. maka jatuh berdosa pd org yg terlibat.. sape yg terlibat?? kite la.. org Islam.. x nk terlibat ke? tu bukn org Mukmin.. (sbenarnye boleh dikatakan bukn org Islam.. tp saye x nk la keras kat sini..) sbb ade dlm satu hadis sahih Rasulullah.. saye x igt camne ayat btol dier.. tp Rasulullah S.A.W ade kate kalau seseorg Islam itu x mengambil tahu hal saudaranye.. maka dier bukn drpd kalangan mereka(umat Islam)..

Subhanallah.. hal ni btol2 buat saye sedar.. dunie nih hampir kiamat.. saye ade dgr seorg ustaz kate... ade hadis sahih Rasulullah kate.. umat Islam akan naik 3 kali.. memule saye igt tu psl yg tamadun Islam.. kan dlm sejarah Islam dah naik 2 kali kan.. so saye igt kiamat akan berlaku lepas kebangkitan Islam kali ke-3 tu.. so saye pk saye perlu berusahe.. mencapai kegemilangan Islam yg ke-3 tu.. supaye saye ade saham saye ke arah tu.. sementare saye masih ade kat dunie nih lagi.. tp sbenarnye.. 3 kali naik tu adalah psl qualiti umat Islam.. bukn nye dr segi tamadun.. bile saye dgr psl tu.. hati saye mcm ade satu lubang yg sgt besar.. mcm mane kite nk ukur qualiti umat Islam.. kite x nmpk iman seseorg tu camne.. hanya Allah S.W.T je yg tahu.. so kiamat tu dah bleh berlaku anytime from now on.. boleh jadi esok.. boleh jadi mlm nih.. amat seram!!! kite kate "bile tue sket la baru kite beribadat lebih sket.." "hidup bahagie camni pon dah bleh masuk syurge".. tp sedarkah umat Islam skrg.. tanggungjwb kite.. amanah Allah pd kite.. janji kite pd Allah masih x tercapai lagi.. camne nk ngadap Raja Seluruh Alam?

i think dis is enuf for this time..(tp btol2 rase x pueh hati lagi..) really hope dat Allah will permudahkan segale urusan ke arah jln kebaikan.. ok..really hav to stop ere.. nnt meleret lak.. ehehhe k
wassalam..

things wont always go ur way..

Assalamualaikum wrt.. sbenarnye this matter terlintas kat pkran saye about 2 days ago.. but i didnt get any chance to write it up.. ehehehe i watched goong.. ermm the other name is the imperial palace.. uhuhuhuhuh.. it saud dat the story is actually based from its manga.. so i looked up in the internet..n found out that.. the drama doesnt follow the exact story line from the manga.. n i like the manga better..eheheheh my point is.. in the manga.. the prince doesnt wanna be the prince.. the previous king's son wanna b the prince.. but the royal family wanna the current prince to take the post.. things wont always go wit wut u planned.. i knew bout this.. it's written in al-Quran n i believe ppl know bout this 2.. but there's always something behind wut happen.. i get really sad bout this.. it's also scares me.. i always think bout wut we plan 2day.. sometimes we r really sure that it would happen.. but we dont hav any right to decide dat.. ade ayat Quran says that.. kamu merancang tapi igtlah Allah adalah sebaik2 perancang.. at first i juz understand wut it's mean juz like dat.. knowing dat we plan everyday.. n Allah's plan will happen.. not our plan.. juz dat.. but witnessing wut happen in front of my eyes.. uhhuhuhu actually i wanna write more.. but my mind juz goes blank.. i know i got more to write but.. ahh.. mayb next time.. genki dene~~.. c ya.. jzkk

cinta seorg isteri kpd Manusia Agung

Sambil berdiri di kubur Nabi s.a.w. isteri beliau tercinta Aisyah pun berkata, bersenandung dengan suara terharu :

Wahai orang yang tidak pernah memakai sutera,

yang tak pernah tidur di atas kasur yang empuk,

Wahai orang yang keluar dari dunia
dan perutnya tidak pernah kenyang dengan roti gandum,

Wahai orang yang memilih tikar untuk tempat tidur,

Wahai orang yang tidak tidur sepanjang malam
(karena lamanya melaksanakan qiyamul lail)

karena takut sentuhan neraka Sa'ir........

(Usman bin Hasan bin Ahmad Syakir, Durratun Nasihin, hal. 56-61)

dilemma..uhuhuhuuh

Assalamualaikum wrt..uhuhuhuhuuhhu i'll expose everything ere in dis blog.. i know dat ppl dat i dont know might read it.. but..... i dont know who i should confide dis thing.. i talk to a few ppl.. but i dont know whether they understand.. i'm not saying dat they dont understand wut i told them.. but they dont understand how i feel n wut i'm going thru..

first thing!! jgn terkejut ekkk.. dis is a new thing for me.. whole new thing!! a new world.. i wanna get married.. uhuhuhuhuhu terkejut x?? :p when it is started? hermm... well.. b4 acteli i really dont care bout this marriage thing.. i even terpk xnak kawen lak..eheheh but sjk kebelakangan nih.. emmm.. all d girlz talk bout is this thing.. i feel like i had enter a new world.. dat i dont belong to.. hmm.. uhuhuhuhuu i dont like such feeling.. ermm i dont care such thing.. sampaikan i dont care(bukn nk kate dont care... tp ok jek la..) if my husband(in d future la..:p) kawen lain.. ehehhehe.. there r a few reason y i wanna get married.. n i havnt tell my parents yet.. d first one to know is Along(my housemate la.. not my bro)

My first bro will get engaged this summer.. n he's confiding me bout his prob.. n his prob bukn mende remeh.. really2.. then.. for my second bro.. my parents had arrange someone for him.. but i dont know wut is his reaction.. among our siblings..he's d first one yg couple.. well.. he's kinda famous among his fren.. huhuuhuh n he got such a cute gf.. n wut i know they already broke up.. waaa... such a waste.. coz she got wut my mom lookin' for.. ehehehehe.. n my mom already give permission for me to couple.. but u know.. i dont like such thing.. ermmm how to say dis.. kalo borak ngan my parents.. we nvr talk bout this thing.. i'm the oldest daughter.. i know d responsibility dat i hav to carry.. waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.. really.. this is a whole new thing to me.. ppl always said.. dat if a girl doesnt hav bf.. either she's not interested or she feel insecure if she get a bf.. well.. i think i choose the second one.. y? hmm.. how to say dis?.. we all need love.. either to be loved or to love someone.. n huhhh.. i dont know how to explain this.. wut i know is.. kat dunie nih.. xdek mende pon yg kekal.. n dat includes love btw human.. hmm.. or i juz not interested??.. iuhuhuuuhuhu confused2..

talking bout to be loved n to love someone.. i juz read a manga.. waaa... dah lame x ckp psl manga.. ehehhehe.. there is a guy who's in trouble.. n he has a gf.. he's been deceiving his gf.. by not showing his true self.. his gf dont care.. ermm i mean.. dier x kesah bout dat.. coz how's been living his life so far.. is part of him rite? n she loves him for that.. he deceives her coz he thout she will hates him for that.. one thing he know for sure.. the root of his prob is he juz wanna be loved by someone.. when he found such a girl that he comfortable to be wit.. he becomes possesive.. so when the girl knows bout his prob.. she tries to help him.. but he doesnt wanna accept.. he know that he juz wanna be loved by someone.. but he feel something is missing.. that's going him mad sampaikan dier push her away.. but to one point that she mde him realizes that he also wanna love someone.. not only to be love by someone.. he doesnt know where to put all his love.. uhuhuhuh.. mende2 cam tu pon bleh buat m'sia giler kan.. uhuuhuuhuh.. one thing i got from ere.. to love someone is greater than to be loved.. ermm.. i feel that's true.. but i think there r ppl who wont agree.. ahhh.. dont wanna talk bout this anymore..

one more reason y i wanna get married is bcoz.. ermm coz saye takut saye buat maksiat.. bukan setakat maksiat hati..n mate.. some ppl may understand wut i'm going thru.. uhuhuhuhuuh.. n sometimes saye perlukan some push.. ermm camne ek.. kite kalo nk buat mende baik.. ade peringkat2 dier.. saye ade niat.. saye ade motivasi.. someone told me that i'm good in muhasabah diri.. but something's need to be trigger in me.. uhuhuhuuhuh too much al-hawa' n nafsu.. so i think if someone who always by my side.. someone lives wit me.. can n will does dat for me.. uhuuhuh dats d biggest reason y i wanna get married.. ermm cnth nye la kan.. cam bgn solat subuh awal.. if i'm alone in dis room.. kalo subuh tu kol 4.. (ikut waktu skrg..ehehehe) n sunrise kol 6.. saye akan bgn subuh kol 530.. uhuhuhu.. but if saye kene kejut org..saye akan bgn awal..(insyaAllah..) so saye rase maqasid nye lebih besar...uhuhuuhhuhu camne nih?????????? someone told me dat.. d biggest 'bump' in d process..is get permission from parents.. n i havnt try dat yet.. ehehhehe waiting for my mom to call.. coz my phone has been barred.. coz miscommunication.. n technical prob.. eheheheh

ehh.. pnjg giler entry kali nih.. but for 11 ppl(u know who u r) plzzz help me.. mayb ur reason will help me..huhuhuhuh.. wokeh la i'll write more next time.. see ya.. salamz..

Segenggam tabah - in-team

i really like dis song.. after along n kak mum say that dis is a gud song.. ermm at first i wasnt interested..coz.. it's from in-team.. but try it!!! its gud..

Bertali arus dugaan tiba
Menakung sebak airmata
Namun tak pernah pun setitis
Gugur berderai di pipi
Tidak ditempah hidup sengsara
Suratan nasib yang melanda
Menongkah badai bergelora
Diredah bersendirian
Bagaikan camar pulang senja
Patah sayapnya tetap terbang jua
Sekadar secicip rezeki
Buat yang sedang rindu menanti
Segenggam tabah dipertahankan
Buat bekalan di perjalanan
Kau bebat luka yang berdarah
Kau balut hati yang calar

Telah tertulis suratan nasibmu
Derita buatmu ada hikmahnya
Terlukis senyum di bibir lesu
Tak siapa tahu hatimu
Biarpun keruh air di hulu
Mungkinkah jernih di muara
Biarpun jenuh hidup dipalu
Pasti bertemu tenangnya

ehehehehe.. njoy d song... uhuhuhuh till now i still cant made up my mind.. uhuhuuhu

confused heart....

Assalamualaikum wrt.. hiyaa!!! uhuhuhuhuh.. i dont know how should/where to start.. i'm on my way to a really different world... i know this is a really big decision to make.. but i dont know where to talk to.. i dont wanna hurt my mom or dad.. every single word that i said or say to them.. i cant take it back..

uhuuhuhuhuhu.. i feel really confused rite now.. waaaaaaaaaaa...............i'll settle down.. n cite kat korg next time tau!!!.. bye c ya!!

Alahummaghfirli wali ukhti..luv ya!!

cute gak~~

cute~~~

boring~~~

salamz...uhuhuhuhu u guys sure pelik kan... semlm berie jek tulih.. cam ade byk mende nk bgtau.. tertibe 2day??? yup!!! feel really boring rite now.. ermm its not very suitable word actually.. malas sbenarnye..uhuhuhuuhuh ah!!.. i'll juz post pics.. heheheheh njoy d pics k!! :p

Allahumaghfirli waliukhti..

boring~~~

salamz...uhuhuhuhu u guys sure pelik kan... semlm berie jek tulih.. cam ade byk mende nk bgtau.. tertibe 2day??? yup!!! feel really boring rite now.. ermm its not very suitable word actually.. malas sbenarnye..uhuhuhuuhuh ah!!.. i'll juz post pics.. heheheheh njoy d pics k!! :p

Allahumaghfirli waliukhti..

Soldier of Allah - 1924

sometimes.. it takes blood to cherish this world.. sometimes.. tears become useless..

The truth about the state
It wasn't always like this
Let us look back in time
History reminds us
One army
One land
One central authority
Crushing the romans persians put in fear

The Ummah like a Lion
No need to shed a tear
When the village was attacked by the kufar
The Khalife heard
The sister cry & Prepared for war
Attacking the city
Destroying it from existence
Lesson # 1 Don't ever Mess with Muslims

The Imam of the Ummah is a shield
where he protects the Ummah
and where the Ummah fights behind him
Where is this shield today to protect the Ummah??
What happen to this shield
to honor and dignify the Ummah???
In 1917 Prime Minister of britain
after entering Jerusalem stated
the crusade war has ended?
In the same year the french general, goro
went to the grave of Salahudeen-Ayubi
Salahudeen-Ayubi, the one
who 730 years prier
crushed the crusades and liberated Palestine & Syria
he went to his grave in Damascus and kicked it
and said wake up oh Salahudeen we hare here ?

How did they do this to you and me
We turn on the TV and all we see is
a world full of casualties a generation in agony
our Ummah is in misery
let us go back to beginning of the century
and review our history from one side
to the other side of the globe
the system of Islam
Ruled over the world

They went to the Muslims
for the all their solutions
from mathematics to biology
to the advancements in technology
the kafir women use to imitate our women
they wanted the same respect
that the Muslims sisters were given
while the enemies of Islam
were trying to twist the Quran
trying to write a Surah like Allah?s
they all failed miserably & many of them responded
with
Ashhadu -an la Ilaha Ilallah wa Ashhadu- anna Muhammadun rasullullah

Allah has challenged the humanity until the day of judgment
to produce a Sura or an Aya like the Quran
And Allah assures that they will never be able to make an Aya like it
The kufar plan and work to destroy this Deen
and Allah affirms that we too are planning
and if all the people of the world got together
they still could not and will never be able to
put even a scratch a side of a muster seeds
on the throne of almighty Allah (SWT)

After failing on the battlefield
they kufar got together and they decided to yield
they said we must change
the way the Muslims think
and sure enough the Muslim Ummah
began to sink

In 1917 john belford promised Palestine
to the jews
31 years later
his promise went through brittan and france
split the Muslim lands
3 years later
Islam worst traitor mustafa kamal
Brought the states fall

In 1920?s mustafah kammal with the help of the british becomes the hero
Hmm? well this so-called hero cancels the authority
of the most powerful system suitable for human beings
The khilafah!!!?
he abandon all the rulings of Allah?
he did not stop there?.
He banded the Adan in Arabic,
he denied Muslim sister from obeying Allah (SWT)
by abandoning the Hijab
All Islamic calendars and holidays were canceled
Yes brothers and sisters?
he changes the Arabic alphabet to Latin
By doing so he made sure the next generation
will be lost and have no connection to their Islamic roots
as they can not read or write all the Islamic culture that was recorded
This Islamic system sent by the Creator of alameen
went from the application in life
to be in museums for people to go and see in turkey

In 1924 Our state was demolished
Hundred years of planning
And their plans were accomplished
Kafirs broke our bond
Contaminated our knowledge
Better listen up because you won't learn this in college
Beginning of the end and the divisions began
Step by step they divided our lands
in 1921 saudi arabia & iran
next year egypt &
In 32 iraq

In 1945 jordan indonesia
Lebonen & syria Two years later
The division of India
the Muslims took a stand and demanded the ruling of Islam
so they gave them pakistan but it was only an illusion
a false resolution far from the solution
In 1948 The Jews establish their israeli state

In 1901 the kufar went to Sultan Abdull Hamid the II
and offered to pay tremendous amount of money
to the Islamic State for Palestine.
Sultan Abdull Hamid the II replied:
I am not going to give one inch of Palestine to the jews as Palestine is not mine give but it belongs to the Ummah and Ummah have shed blood to defend this land but if one day the Islamic State falls apart then you can have Palestine for free but as long as I am alive I would rather have my flesh be cut up then cut out Palestine from the Muslim land I will not allow any carving up while we are alive!!!!!

In 1960's somolia & nigaria
kuwait & algeria
In 1964
Came the PLO yasar arafat
The us scarecrow a great declined
In 1969
When the west was training
Muslims scholars for hire
Jews were setting
Al-Aqsa mosque on fire!

Let us recall 1970
For those who don't remember
That was the year
That we had black September
The king of jorden & yaser arafat
Began their plot
Shot after shot
Muslim blood spilled
As innocent Muslims were killed
Communism attacked but
Muslims fought back

The sincere Mujahideen of Afghanistan fought
and pushed back the Russians and then
They started to fight among themselves
Khomaine became in power
with the promise of ruling
and raising the Ummah to a level of dignity
But his promise never went through
soon after iran and iraq
went to war
And millions of innocent Muslims died
for 10 years Muslims killing Muslims
Over what!!!??? What else?!!!
the agenda of the west!!!
at the end there were no resolution
Today iran is very much open to democracy
and reformation
and the Muslims in iraq continue to suffer?.
SubhanAllah!?.
where is the Amir of the Ummah??!!!!?..

Another decade gone
But we still don't have Islam
Take a look at the gulf
And the killings of sadam
Over million Muslims died
But no one answered their cries
In the 1990's
The Muslim genocide
Bosnia Kosovo Chechenya Dagistan

Bring back Islam! Bring back Islam! Bring back Islam! Bring back Islam!

It?s year 2000
And nothing has changed
Past generation has aged
Let us write the next page
It?s time for us to change
It?s up to you & me
Either we make history or we become history?

this song is really give me spirit.. reminding me that.. there r ppl out there that r suffering.. protecting Islam with their life.. n im here??? uhuhuuhuhuh astaghfirullah hal 'azim..:((

setelah sekian lame..

Assalamualaikum wrt...
uhuuhuhuhuhuuuhhu salamz every1.. how r u guys? uhuuhuhu i juz got back from surrey.. camping there.. join a prog.. carik ilmu.. uhuhuhuhuh.. actually i'm in pinch rite now.. uhhuhuhuh someone who r going to get married cant be thinking bout someone else rite?? how shold i realize that person.. i dont wanna hurt hus feeling.. wuts he doing is wrong.. saye bukn nk berlagak sbg penghukum..but :(( i really dont know wut to do..

yesterday.. for d first time.. our family had conference thru YM.. all of us were there except my younger bro which is studying in perak(i think so.:D) my second big bro is at home rte now.. he alreday finish his study n soon will step into world of adult(working la..) eheheheh saje nk buat bahase cam org dewase sket..:p so my mom n papa look very happy especially my mom.. in our siblings.. my mom n papa has each one of them their fav.. its not a good thing but the other dont feel any inferior.. mayb coz we realize or acknowledge their 'superiority'... uhuhuhuuh i wont say any further than that..

my bro is groing to get engaged this summer.. n my second bro is going to meet someone soon..but i dont know who..(really feel lonely.. coz dont know any detail..) saye ade rase terase gak la in dis case.. there was one time...when my younger bro(d one that studying in perak) met accident.. its long time ago.. but i dont know anything bout that.. n still now my parents thout dat i still dont know bout that.. he broke his legs.. spending in hospital for a few months.. i think dat 'balasan' Allah nk tunjuk kat dunia pd kitorg... n also for him.. coz he is the naughtiest among us.. he didnt like study.. smoking.. always poteng kelas.. n now i hope he insaf la.. uhuuhuhuuhh.. b4 i really like him.. coz he didnt talk back to me.. even now.. when my mom or me call home.. when i talk to him.. u know.. guys dont like talk or manje2 wit their older sis.. but he's cool.. he went to sekolah agame b4.. i forgot either sekolah agame kerajaan or kerajaan negeri.. uhuhuhuhu.. i dont know wut my parents wttitude toward him.. i hope they treat him like b4... kekurangan kasih syg la tu.. uhuhuhuh xpe.. saye ade.. i'll always root for u as long as u do good thing..:p

owh.. acteli i wanna tell bout my second bro.. uhuhu he juz finish his study in japan.. my parents match him wit a girl... but i dont know who.. i dont know wut will he do.. acteli.. among our siblings.. he is the first one who couple.. but he studied in sekolah agame kerajaan negeri.. uhuhuhu dier started couple when he was studying in mrsm kuala berang, terengganu.. uhuhuhuhu.. a few weeks ago.. my parents gave their consent for me to couple.. but they dont know i dont like..(well.. this is personal opinion.. dont take it to heart k..:D) i hope there's no one waiting for me(u knwo wut i mean..) i dont wanna be match to someone.. its not that i will fond someone.. but i hav my own reasons.. uhuhuuh

wokehla.. i think now saye dah kekeringan idea.. dah xtau nk tulih ape dah.. uhuhuhuhu
Allahumaghfirli waliukhti.. jzkk

ja-ne matane..

triffle yg best.. mase besday kak mum!!

MPI..

Assalamualaikum wrt...
Yo!!!.. ehehhehhehe how r u guys? hope u r in d best of health n eman... :D dis week.. starting 26th of march.. we r having MPI(minggu penghayatan Islam).. well i dont know whether they already change the exact meaning.. coz i dont like it.. we dont need a specific week to 'menghayati' Islam.. we practice it everyday.. we juz can make it like.. ermm 'menggandakan' something like dat..uhuhuuh xpe la.. juz first step.. i really hope they will change it some day... d majlis perasmian.. i didnt go.. coz i went to tamrin nisa'.. then..d next activity is kuiz..well acteli we also got usrah at dat time.. but i'mone of d exco(MCOT) they ask me to make some sandwiches.. n i havnt done much around dis time.. except provide cartoon for d bulletin..

at first.. i thout i can make them earlier.. pass them to someone.. n i can go to usrah withoutany worries.. but then.. dont hav much time.. i started boil eggs at 430.. n we planned to go at 5.. uhuhuhhuuh terpakse la.. x pela.. we hav another one on thursday.. but d problem is.. i heard of it after someone ask me.. some kinda nk celebrate besday la.. n i said yes.. uhuhuhuhuuhu.. really xdek mase r skrg nih.. really fortunate i dont hav much subject dis sem.. not like last sem.. uhuhhuuh..

my bro r going to korea dis 3rd of april.. n i will be at london at dat time.. uhuhuhuhuhu.. owh.. my second bro will be going back for gewd dis thursday.. i really jealous of him.. from form 1 he entered sekolah agama.. then can fly to jepun..(acteli i really want to go to jepun).. then even b4going back to mesia.. he already got a job.. uhuhuhu he'll be working at Melaka.. hmm.. my first bro at selangor.. then my second bro at melaka.. then i'll go to johor la.. ehehehh then.. my little bro go to perak or perlis.. then my little imouto can stay at Kelantan(coz she nvr go study out of kelantan b4).. then.. i'll send my youngest ottoto.. to sabah or sarawak.. ahahahah my parents dont want any of their children go there.. ahahahhhaha isk mengarut jek..

i hav to post back my ticket to lee's travel.. coz MAS change their flight schedule.. they dont hav any flight to manchester anymore.. we hav to go to london's airport first b4 direct flight go to mesia..uhuhhuu leceh giler.. xpe la..
wokeh la.. feel sleepy.. going to bed after dis..nite!!!! salamz..

unpredictable weather...

hi every1.. uhuhuuhuh
starting 2day.. i'll write in bold char.. coz of my new design of blog... uhuhuuhuh i luv it.. well.. i took about 5 hours editing my blog.. i planned it b4.. but dont hav time lorr.. uhuhuhuuh those who came to my room these few days will know how my life rite now.. uhuhuuh really2 bersepah!!! my sleep also not 'teratur'.. uhuhuhu really x aman..

2day i need to send a report.. will meet my groupmates at 12.. but er i am.. sitting in my room like dont care..no lah!!!! i'm giving d report last blow.. ahahahah.. i'm d compiler for dis week.. uhuhuhuuh.. really cant understand my groupmates.. they r really strict.. how shld i say dis.. ermm "lepak ar.. x yah le tension2 sgt.. we r doing it in our won way.." ermm ahahahaha i cant say it straight to their faces.. coz sometimes i messed up.. :P so kinda shameful of me la if i say dat to them.. uhuhuuhu

other ppl may see me as dont hav prob.. welli can say dat 'mayb' i dont hav d very same prob as d others.. erm also 'mayb' my probs are not as big as d others.. but i'm doing my best.. but sometimes i messed up.. there's one thing i wanna achieve rite now.. i wanna be consistent.. i wanna be istiqamah in wut i did(only guwd thing la..:D) but its very hard.. i dont know bout d others.. but for ppl who always say dat.. but not doing it.. dont say it then.. its very hard!!!! well.. i'm not upset to any1.. uhhuhu juz to me.. :p

owh.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..i'm late rite now.. got meeting wit my groupmates at 12.. got to go now.. uhuhuuh buhbyee.. c ya!!! jzkk..:D

HIJJAZ - BELAIAN IBU

TERTANAM NALURI KEIBUAN
AMAT MENDALAM DI JIWA INSAN
YG MENDAMBAKAN KEBAHAGIAAN
OH IBU...
DI BAHUMU TERGALAS
BEBAN PERJALANANNMU PENUH RINTANGAN
KAU TITIPKAN KASIH SAYANG
SEJUJUR PENGORBANAN
TAK KU NAFIKAN
DI SAAT KITA BERJAUHAN
RASA INGINKU BERLARI
MENDAKAPIMU PENUH GIRANG
BAK SI KECIL KEHILANGAN
KAU INSAN PENYAYANG
BETAPA KU MERINDU
LEMBUT NYA BELAIAN IBU
MEMBUATKU TERLENAKU
PASTIKAN DIKAU AMAN
DIKURNIA SEJAHTERA
TAK KU LUPAKAN
DI WAJAH MU BEROLAK TENANG
SEBAK DI DADA KAU RAHSIAKAN
KU PASTIKAN
DIKAU AMAN DIKURNIA SEJAHTERA
TAK KU LUPAKAN
DI SAAT KITA BERJAUHAN
RASA INGINKU BERLARI MENDAKAPIMU
PENUH GIRANG
BAK SI KECIL KEHILANGAN
TIADA AKU TANPA IBU
HANYA KAU SATU DI DUNIA
BERTAKHTA DIKAU DI JIWAKU
KAULAH IBU YANG TERCINTA
KAU INSAN PENGASIH
BETAPAKU MENGHARAP
HADIRNYA RESTUMU IBU
MEMBAWAKU KE SYURGA
BERSEMI BELAIAN KASIH SAYANG
YANG BERPANJANGAN
DARIMU INSAN YANG MENDOAKAN
KEBAHAGIAAN ANAK-ANAKMU OH IBU

^-^ how can i forget someone who carry me around for 9 months without saying i'm a nuisance.. never abandoned me.. never forget me even a day.. never ignore me even one day.. looking me with such a pair of loving eyes.. my heart aches everytime i remember those days that i took my ways instead of ways u prefer.. those days that i showed bad expressions.. but u never turn ur back on me.. owh..how i wish i'll always b by ur side.. give all my love to u.. touch ur hand.. n tell u how much i luv u.. mama.. I LUV U!!!!!!!

salamz...

Assalamualaikum wrt..

phew.. after those a few days.. ermm i juz came back from ireland.. uhhuhuhuh that was my first time there.. well.. i'm not that kinda 'suke berjln2'.. ehehehhe but bcoz of some reason..

i dont know if my family will read dis blog.. but ermm.. i dont think so..:p for those who r near me.. know wut i've been up to these days.. ok.. lately(since last sem i think) i follow a jemaah.. well its not a bad thing.. but it consumes my time+money+energy.. eheheh well.. i knda like it.. xdek org pakse.. but i havnt tell my family.. its not dat i dont wanna tell them.. n its not dat my family object dis thing.. but i get dis kinda feeling dat they cant accept it easily.. my family nvr get involve in dis thing.. well its not dat my family is more into academic stuff.. well i can say dat.. but my family is normal family.. dat hope grad successfully.. then get a good profession.. then get married.. buy a good house.. then live 'happily'.. n thats it.. sometimes.. go to 'ceramah agama'.. but no care for other ppl.. i get this feeling dat.. if i tell them.. jwpnnye? nape susah2 nk g dakwah kat org? ustaz ramai... lagi pun bukn nye cukup ilmu nk g ckp2 ngan org.. biar la org lain yg buat keje tu.. i cant b upset bcoz of wut thery say.. 'mangse keadaan'.. :(( kinda sad rite? first thing i wanna do when i go back to m'sia.. tell them.. n hope they will support me.. n 2gether wit me in dis kinda field.. ehehehhehe

wanna tell u something.. this thing really bugs me a lot.. i hav 2 friends(A n B).. they r very good fren to each other.. wit me..so-so la.. eheheheh A is kinda 'hanyut' la.. dont wanna say bad things bout her.. i thnk bcoz of upbringing.. kitorg kwn baik tu boleh la kate kwn baik.. xdek la gduh2 or buat bodo jek kalo jumpe tepi jln.. then B is someone who i always see.. i seldom see A.. one day.. B tell me.. ayat dier camnii.. kalo bgtau dlm bahase melayu lagik best bunyik dier..:p "Sheila, kitorg(kwn2 diorg la) selalu pelik camne la ko leh kwn ngan A.. cam jauh beza giler".. saye pon pelik la.. ape yg x leh kwn nye.. saye pon tanye balik.. "asal? ape yg pelik nye? x leh ke?".. dier pon jwb.."xdek la.. ko kan baik.. A tu kan cam tu.. cam pelik la camne korg leh jadik baik..C(kwn diorg gak la) pon ade pnah bgtau bende nih".. org baik hanya leh kwn ngan org baik jek ke? org baik x leh kwn ngan org 'x baik' ke? well.. its ok.. but sometimes make me think.. dats wut ppl see me outside? its not dat i dont like ppl see me as 'org baik' but.. i only did(at d moment) wut ppl should do.. ape yg org 'x baik' tu buat sampai normal ppl(i think i ca generalise like dat) been saperated from them? juz something to ponder..uhuhuhuhu:(

i got lab at 11.. (really hav so many things to write..) but i think its enuf for now.. huuhuhuhuhuh.. *in dilemma rite now.. God, plz give me guidance..
salamz..

long tyme no c..

Assalamualaikum wrt..
Yo!!! long time no c man.. ermm almost a month i didnt write soemthing in dis blog... ahahahahah well.. i can say dat i dont hav time to write up all dat happen to me these days.. ahahha.. last nite we(me, along, kak mum, nawar, inayah, zatil, ain, am, kak, asyif, kak zai, kak jah) celebrated kak mum's besday.. acteli her ebsday is on 6th of march... but we juz wanted to get on her... well.. at some points it didnt turned out so well as planned.. but i think dats ok.. i always remember dis phrase.. any relationship.. after 'gaduh-gaduh'.. u will become closer.. i think its all apply to any kind of relationship.. including children-parents.. :p..

rite now.. i hav sooo many prob.. but i hav been taught since m small.. solve ur own prob.. dont ever try to depend on others.. well.. uhuhuuhuhu dats wut m doing.. i only depends on Him only.. always remember wut kak mums told me.. whenever m sad.. or tired(mentally) or weak.. i'll remind myself.. dat.. we always ask Him for us to be strong.. give us guidance in solving our prob n obstacles.. but He nvr give those in straight way... we nvr receive 'letter' or guidebook showing how to solve our prob from Him.. but by giving us prob n obstacles itself.. is one way of making us strong.. we try to solve d probs.. He will always help us.. sometimes i despise myself.. i always choose wuts He doesnt want us to choose.. i realize dat.. but..uhuhuuhu its really hard to change.. plus its change from bad to good.. uhuhuuhuhu..

dis weekend.. i'll b away for study circle.. well its kinda big one.. a combined one.. ppl always said.. if we wanna change.. be it a bit by a bit.. but b consistent.. huhuhuhuuh.. but be consistent is something hard.. uhhhuuh..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

yupp!! i'm lazying around rite now.. feel nothing to do but then really hav a lot of hw to do acteli.. huhu.. u know.. i dreamt 4 nites in a row bout going back home.. i guess i really miss home altho i wont admit it.. eheheheh more i dont wanna think bout it.. more it comes to my restless-long sleep!!!.. uhuhhuuhuhu huishh.. wut m i talking bout???

as usual.. weekend, i spend my days in my room.. feel a bit cold but its comfortable enuf for me.. eheheheheh acteli i was planning to change some of d stuff in my room.. ehehehehhe but really so lazy to work out my tulang 4 kerat.. ahahahhaa huh*sigh*.. these days r really hard.. i dont know wut to do.. i'mnot a robot n i'm not an animal.. i know dat.. i dont know how long i'll be living.. i dont know wuts my last thing dat i'll be doing b4 i die... dat's all in Allah's hand... i know i hav works to do.. my head keep telling me dat i hav to do dat..i hav to do this.. but i dont know wuts make me dis bad... i always ask Allah for strength.. but myself, i nvr try to use d 'strength dat HE gave me..i really hope He wont stop giving me d strength.. uhuhuhhuhuhu *really feel so low of myself*

i spent about 45 pnds only for ink for printer only in dis month.. n i only got 1/2 of d allowance dat i supposd to get.. huhuhuuhuh.. i hav to watch carefully to my budget.. i havnt shop for clothes for a long time.. well dat's not in my interest acteli.. d last cloth i bought is when i'm in ds2.. from lele.. d4 dat is in ebay 2 month ago.. ahahahhaa.. not a girly type am i?? ahahhaha well i dont care.. these days.. i like to ware 4 layers of clothes.. first layer is sleeveless shirt.. then long-sleeve shirt then.. a not-too-thick sweater wit hook.. then my long black coat.. wear it either wit my denim jeans or denim skirt.. ahahhaha i think i wear dat kind of fashion about 4 times a week.. ahahhahahah realy comfortable dat now's still so cold outside.. ;p

dat's all for now.. jazakillah..

my turning point...

Assalamualaykum wrt..

it's really hard if u wanna change.. altho u wanna change from bad to good.. but it's really hard.. dat's d situation i'm in rite now.. i know how bad i was b4.. n i think i am rite now.. there're so many things i wanna do n leave.. but wit i am rite now.. it's a miracle!! i wanna b good.. i already got d hidayah.. so i'll use all my strength to change.. huh.. all i do is talking rite? i wont change juz by dat.. huhuhuhuh..

i went to liverpool yesterday n juz got back dis afternoon.. we(me plus kak asyif, am, nawar, zatil, ain, along, inayah) stayed at cik yah's house.. we had usrah.. ate 2gether.. n salat 2gether.. i really long for dat kind of environment among my frens.. but i know.. it's quite hard.. but it's not impossible for it to happen rite?.. uhuhhuuhu.. i started to study 40 hadith.. i feel like really poor.. coz i know nothing.. i barely remember sentences in al-Quran.. n i know very few hadiths.. how can i live with dis very lil' knowledge?? in one of a book i read recently.. Imam Ghazali said dat.. u cant go amar makruf nahi mungkar till u 1. berlemah lembut dgn ape yg hendak diseru n dicegah.. 2. berilmu dgn ape yg ingin diseru n dicegah.. 3. adil dgn ape yg ingin diseru n dicegah.. hmm... n i rite now? hav no right to tell ppl wut's wrong n wuts rite.. but dat's my objective in life.. d me rite now's d worst.. i know dat.. i really wanna change dat.. all i can do are learn everthing dat i need to know n ask for Allah's guidance.. it'll be fine.. "Allah will help those who's helping Allah in Islam.." i'll always hold to dat words.. Allah's words are always true..

insyaAllah.. for those who always stay by my side.. i'm very grateful to u.. n only Allah can reward u.. tq.. muaahsss

these days...

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i dont know wut happen to me these days.. juz feel like i'va waste so many time n cant get enuf of it??? astaghfirullah hal 'azim.. y hav i been so ungrateful??? feel so shame of myself n sooo guilty.. oh God.. plz forgive me.. i juz got back from ds2.. basically it's a big usrah(circle).. given by ustaz.. well.. acteli it was a big shock for me.. after heard all those things there.. y? ermm.. coz i juz knew something dat i should know..but nvr realize it b4.. how foolish i am.. D Mercifull God gave me more than enuf time to enjoy my time.. but...

i really grateful to God.. dat i've been sent here.. coz i can learn all these.. n i really wanna change my life.. so dat i can give my 100% to da'wah.. my rezki is in Allah's hand.. He will give whenever He wants.. n take it back whenever He wants.. mayb some ppl will say dat it's extreme dat i've enter dis kind of world.. b4 i wld say like dat to those ppl.. but now i really regretted it.. i'm really sorry..
as u heard n saw(mayb).. karikatur dat insulted Rasulullah had been published.. i really shocked heard dat.. i nvr see d karikatur.. now dis kind of attack they wanna give us? r u really dat desperate? N as u know.. dis is also God's test.. He's testing our iman.. even if there's a tiny dot in our heart.. it will be hard to weep it away.. but Allah loves us.. even we dont do wut He says.. He still gives us rezki.. still let we live in His world.. but still.. there're ppl who juz 'dont wanna' realize this thing.. juz take for granted all these things.. how can u do dat??? Rasulullah begged Allah to put all his ummat's sin on his shoulder.. but Allah rejected d request.. do u know y Rasulullah did dat? Coz he loves us.. even our parents or lovers.. anyone.. wont do things like dat.. even Rasulullah nvr meet us.. even there're ppl who ignore insult-Rasulullah-thing in his ummat.. Subhanallah.. Rasulullah lived his life to deliver kalimatullah to us.. n we live..even born in Islam.. bcoz of Rasulullah.. we even didnt grateful to him n Allah??? wut kind of human we wld be?

i juz cant be silent bout dis.. i want ppl to realize.. Allah's watching us.. He knows everything.. even when we're alone.. we know dat.. we always say dat.. but we nvr realize wut's d meaning of it.. it means dat.. we cant lie.. we cant pretend to b good.. we hav to do wut He says.. wutever in our hearts He knows everything.. owh.. God.. i always ask for strength.. i always ask for guide... but i'll nvr get them if U doesnt help me.. plzzz help me go thru dis life.. i'll do my job while i'm in Ur world.. juz help me.. i cant askhelp from anything else.. coz U're d only one whose Mighty..U're d only one who hav everything.. plzzz help me.. plzz dont turn Ur back on me..

also my bro..wit his proud car

my bros..

exam dah abes.. merdeka!!!

yo!.. ehehhehehe my last paper was dis morning.. n it was quite shocking.. coz i didnt expect dat i can answer it.. acteli i dont like d subject.. dat i had dis morning.. isk.. dat's it..i dont wanna talk bout it.. uhuhuhuuh
for those who follow my updated entry.. well arigatou ghozaimasta'.. u must be feel quite weird after yesterday's entry rite? well.. jitsu-ai nvr tell others bout my prob.. i'll make it clear here.. i think i can solve my own prob.. i'm not saying dat d others cant solve their own prob..but it's juz d matter of my principle.. if they ask for help.. i'll help them.. if they didnt say anything.. i wont make they do dat.. i believe everything a person do or did.. they hav their own reason n i cant interfere wit dat..

isk.. acteli i wanna explain bout yesterday's entry but then.. i think there's nothing to say anymore.. i dont care bout wut ppl say.. sometimes i juz cant stand wit ppl dat care too much bout wut d others think or say bout themselves.. i know dat we live in community.. so as one of them.. we hav to act like one.. but it doesnt mean dat we hav to satisfy them.. d only one who can satisfy someone is her/himself..

after d last paper dis morning.. i went to syud's room.. acteli i juz wanna take those cds she borrowd.. coz she said she cant open d cd.. hmmm wut's wrong ek? then.. acteli she juz got something from back home.. n guess wut? ppl at home sent her about 5 packets of bihun.. waaaaaa.. n she has about 7 in total... she gave me one.. n i already cooked it juz now.. ahahhahahah lame x makan bihun.. uhuhuhuhu.. hmm.. i guess nothing to talk bout for now.. huh.. dis monday i'll start class for 2nd sem.. uhuhuhuuh.. so malas n depressing.. we juz finishd our exam so kambe-stekudasai... uhuuhuhu wokeh la.. see ya around k.. byee

huhuhuhu.. exam

yo!!! mina-san.. genki? ehehheheh how's ur life so far? ermm good? ehehhee well.. acteli i dont really hav something to write ere.. but juz feel like it.. ahahahhaha mezrashi nee.. ahahhahah well yesterday i baked bun.. or i think it acteli pau.. hmm.. not bad.. i've been wanting to eat some acteli n cant find one ere.. so i juz make one.. ahahahhah n i plan to make some tonite too.. ahahahhaha... isk.. i think i laugh too much these days... n i think those smiles are not from my heart.. hmmm i tried so hard acteli.. to live a normal life.. but i think this is not a normal life.. hmm.. none of ppl around me knows bout dis.. except myLord.. ahh dont wanna think bout it rite now

jitsu-a.. i think i'm not a realible person.. i know dat for someone to declare it seems stupid.. but honto-wa.. i really think dat.. i hav a long list bout wut i wanna do.. but the list is juz getting longer.. i hav a long list bout wut to get or find.. but nvr try to reduce the amount of it.. huhuhuhuuhuh.. baka da ne.. watashi.. sometimes.. when i think of a bad situation.. i always think of running away.. altho in reality it's one of our own choice.. but when i think back.. i'll regret it in d future.. u know rite, i like animes.. i watchd a lot.. many kind of it.. sometimes i learned something from them.. n sometimes.. it's juz wasting my time but i enjoy it.. tanoshi!! ppl always said.. altho in those animes.. running away from our problems.. wont solve it.. it juz make it worse.. i trained myself, u know.. pathetic am i? :( i try very hard to face any prob i hav.. get thru it.. but acteli i'm not facing it.. i juz pretend it.. y? well.. i cant.. ppl always said.. be optomistic..but it's easy said than done..

wut ever we do.. wutever we choose.. wutever we decide.. will create out line, isnt it? dat's y when i hav to face any prob.. i get scared.. if i choose a wrong path.. then i'll stray from d right path.. but wut's a right path? wut's good for me.. wuts give me an eternal happiness.. hmm.. it's really direct rite? i live everyday watching ppl around me.. get influenced.. learnd from mistake.. get back to my foot.. then dat's it.. d meaning in it? nai!!! huh.. wut am i writing? i've nvr been like dis b4.. b4, i nvr tell my prob to other ppl.. i always keep to myself.. y? coz i feel i cant tell.. it's not dat i cant trust ppl.. but i feel dat it's my own prob so juz keep away from it, k.. but when my frens got one.. i really wanna help them.. y? i dont know.. i juz feel like it.. in anime(i told u, i'm easily influenced)they always said dat juz do wut u feel rite.. i hav a lot to write.. but i think it's enuf..(i told u, i nvr told anyone bout my prob..dis is weird for myself)wokeh got ot go.. byee.. mata ne

Wut's next??

hi there.. first thing.. i havnt write anyhting for these past few days.. sori bout dat.. how should i put this.. i havnt contact my frens.. well mayb it's natural for u guys but i juz realize dat i havnt talk to ppl other than my housemates n my coursemates.. huh.. wut a bad fren i am.. i havnt talk to dayah after eid.. i havnt talk to ehsan for a few months already.. syud lak.. after eid.. we juz sms each other n in ym only... uhuhuhuuhuh.. i really dont know wut happen to me.. mayb u can say bcoz of exam.. but i think it's juz an excuse.. huh.. wut am i writing?? ok i admit.. i'm not in gud mood rite now.. bcoz of d paper i got 2day.. it was realllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy suck!! after i sat for d paper.. something juz popped up in my head.. wut acteli am i doing? wut acteli i learned in d classes?? it's juz dont feel rite.. u know.. when u wanna match ur clothes... the color juz dont feel rite.. these feelings juz dont leave me alone.. after d paper today(it's not today acteli.. it's yesterday now..ehehehe) i went back home...feel really hungry.. but no one cook yet.. so i cooked something simple.. juz spagetti.. then hav some.. then went to bed.. ahahhahha u know it's juz 6 pm at dat time.. i felt so empty..

i read firah's blog juz now.. well it's kinda habit u know.. read others blog when u wanna write ur own.. hehehehhehe ok kan firah? ahahahhah.. well i havnt read hers for a few weeks already i think.. then in her blog.. she wrote something n it really struck me.. huh.. it makes me think d same way.. dat i nvr think dat way b4.. huh.. really... nanyi tendayo..watashi..??? i really hate dis.. i dont like dis kind of life.. dis is not life dat i desire.. dis is not d path i wanna draw for my history.. how shld i put this...??? it's like u get lost somewhere u know.. when u choose a way.. it's juz dont feel rite.. n u dont know wut to do.. u dont wanna stay put.. coz u know if u dont do anything.. nothing will come ur way.. no one can save u.. but if u do something..it's juz dont feel rite..owh God.. plz help mee...

when i get irritated.. or upset.. i cook.. rite now.. i really wanna make something.. n i wanna make bread.. ehehehehhe pelik kan? ade ke nk buat roti lak.. ermmm not plain bread.. i wanna make meat bun.. i cant buy it here.. but i wanna eat meat bun.. it's frustrated rite? it's feel like u're really hungry.. then there's food in front of u but u cant eat it.. acteli i know how to make meat bun.. but i know it's not as delicious as in d store.. well it's enuf rite? ppl always say dat wutever come from our hand is delicious.. well mayb it's not applied to all but it's at least applied to me.. i'm not saying dat wutever i cook is delicious but.. i will eat wutever i cook.. ehehehe altho it's not as delicious as in d store but it's delicious for me.. uhuhuhuuuh.. sounds depressing rite? huhuhuhuh.. i wanna sleep rite now.. but cant sleep.. owh sorry.. u read my blog..wanna find any interesting event but all u read is my small-matter-thingy.. ahahhaha warukattana.. ja' see ya around next time.. eheheh mata ne

u will see wut u believe...

hi there.. ehehhehheehe after dis we're(plus my housemates...) going to mariam's house.. ehehehe for iftar.. ermmm acteli i dont hav or more to dont feel to write anything.. but then i juz finish read firah's blog.. ermm i'm acteli speechless after read it.. i cant believe wut i read.. uhuhuhuhu n i also cant believe firah's like dat... i know dat i know firah not too long ago for me to say dat i understand her well.. but from my instinct.. ermmmm she's not a person dat selfish(well dat's wut i can understand from her blog) hermm.. for ppl who havnt read her blog..it's not dat i wanna badmouth her or something like dat.. but it's commonly happened to ppl around our age acteli... hermmm.. ppl always say dat they wanna do wut they desired.. they wanna be free from all their prob n live happily.. but wut's happy life acteli.. i think it's very subjective... som ppl may say being rich is happy life.. other ppl also say power's d factor to happy life.. n everyone's ideal life is not d same.. so it's impossible to satisfy everyone..

well acteli i'm in hurry.. ermmm i'll talk bout it later.. ehehehehe.. wahh i really miss my home..my mom.. my dad.. my bros n sis.. uhuuh n also my meow2.. uhuhuhuhuhu.. i hav been awy for too long.... my bro told me dat.. our house's not like b4.. i know dat but i cant imagine it.. ahahahhahha.. waaa sooo many thing i wanna write in dis blog.. coz soooo many thing happened in dis a few days.. ahahahhahahha.. wokeh got to go.. ahahahhha really hungry rite now... n thank u am.. :D

my fav group- at d moment la---> Kat-Tun!!!!!!!

Kizuna(bond) --->kat-tun

dis is my fav song at d moment.. ahahahah ac teli they sing it in their languange..but i only found d lyric in english..well at least i can understand it.. ehehehh enjoy it!!


No matter how much we consider the future,
No one can see the truth.
Something is blocking my blank mind,
It's just a mistake that I've been repeating.

It's okay for my steps to continue, these hands have seperated.
Walking away from where you continue to live,
Until I become worn out I keep prolonging it
That time, that place, it will never disappear - this bond.

In time that flows, I try not to lose anything.
Passing by, we collided - true emotion
permeated my heart, into warm desires
The miracle I requested came about by chance.

Even when things couldn't stand still, amidst the pain,
I saw the light, because we were bound together.
It's okay if you lied, and it's okay to cry
That time, that place, it will never disappear - this bond.

It's okay for my steps to continue, these hands have seperated.
Walking away from where you continue to live,
Until I become worn out I keep prolonging it
That time, that place, it will never disappear - this bond.

uhuhuhuhuuuhh.. the group who sing dis song is in d pic above.. ehehehhe alaaa.. it juz a boyband group who's famous among girlz... eheheheh

New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2006..waaa!!

konichiwa'.. sawadikap!! ehehhheh domo!!.. eheheheh i'm verrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy sleeeeeeeeepy rite now.. so i think mayb i'll take some rest n update dis boring blog.. ahahhahah.. but dis yr ermm.. i dont feel anything bout it.. coz when 2005 b4.. i feel like wow!!! but when 2006 comes.. hermmm feel like abit boring.. mayb coz i'm worried bout exam..(in d middle of january) eheheheh n i hav to take 7 papers.. waaaa.... n i'm a bit lazy dis time... i dont know y.. hermmm... mayb coz i'm staying in house?? coz b4.. i lived in hall.. n there was ade suasane study from others... ehehheh.. when i ask d others.. ade yg 3 papers only.. 5 papers.. n mine is paling byk papers.. waaaa uhuhuuuhhuuh.. i think i can put more effort on subj other than maths.. coz my strong point is from maths.. but guess wut?? maths dis sem is sooooooooooooooo hard.. plus we dont hav maths next sem... waaaaaaaaaaa how i;m going to survive????? uhuhuhuhuhuh ermmm... wut to do??? put those things aside.. eheheheh ahaa.. these a few days.. i build a habit.. waking late in d morning...waarrgghhhhh!!! i really hate dis.. coz i'm a morning person.. once i wake up.. i wont sleep after dat.. so i dont sleep in d evening.. n i like to study at nite.. so i'll sleep late... but wake up so alte in d morning.. waa.... i really hate it.... hmm.. mayb coz i didnt turn on d alarm.. n also i change my sleep position(it's one of my habit.. eheheh i really like change any position in my room..including my sleep position..:p) coz my alarm is really near to my next dooor's bed.. juz a wall between them.. so i think it's really annoying if i dont turn it off on time.. ehehhehe hm... y? coz i dont like to bother d others for such things as alarm.. loud music.. n things like dat.. coz i expect d same things from them.. it's natural like dat, isn't it?? ehehehehhe

one thing is always on my mind in these a few days.. i like to experience something.. ermmm like when i was in form 4 or 5(high school) i was wondering how is it to be a college stud or univ.. something like dat.. ermm now i already experienced high school.. college.. univ.. so i'm wondering bout d feeling being an employee??? ermmm i havnt think how i wanna be.. ermm i mean.. i'm engineering stud.. particular in mechatronic engineering.. i can go to electronic field.. or mechanical.. or i can be a lecturer.. bout dat part i havnt decide yet.. coz i think i'm suitable to be office-gal.. i know bout it.. coz my bro's working wit proton.. ermm but i like doing calculation n practical works.. so it's more to laboratory or industrial thingy.. ermm but d other hand.. my parents really want me to take lacturer at d end... hmmm.. hah!! mayb i'll juz do wut i can or wut i hav to do.. n think bout those thing when d time comes.. ehehhehe..

wokeh la.. i think i can study a bit more after dis.. take a rest.. watch anime a few episodes.. then sleep.. ehehehe dat's my routine.. mata neh.. ja ne