i give up

assalamualaikum wrt..

sori la sejak kebelakangan ni.. asyik dgr saye merungut jek huhu.. saye mmg x berniat nk meminte simpati sesape tp inilah saye.. mulut saye terkunci rapat.. lidah saye kelu berkate.. bile berdepan hanye kate2 manis n gembire shj.. huhu poetic giler cehh.. kite kdg2 suke kalo kate2 or kelakuan kite dpt menyentuh hati org lain.. kenape ye? sbb kite akan jd bangge kalo org berubah sbb kite? sbb kite btol2 ikhlas berkate sedemikian?
dlm seminggu nie terus terang saye katekan (x kesah la ade brothers yg bace sbb mmg dah reality..huhu) saye dlm keadaan bad mood sbb pms.. well i suppressed most of it n the rest is out of my control.. huhu n saye sedar lepas tu.. saye terus mtk maaf.. saye rase org sekeliling saye akan perasaan (kalo x perasan tu.. saye syok sendiri la kot..:(..) sbelum ni saye jrg dlm bad mood.. n sampaikan ramai yg kate kat saye.. yg saye ni x dek masalah.. saye nak jek jerit satu UK ni.. yg saye mmg ade masalah.. so dlm minggu yg bad mood yg jrg giler berlaku kat saye.. ade la a few yg terase ngan saye.. huhu saye dah penat dah.. plz ar give me space.. saye perlukan tmpt marah.. saye perlukan tmpt mengadu.. saye perlukan tmpt bersedih.. for all u know (ni bukn nk berbangge diri ke hape..) saye dah lame x nangis.. nape? sbb saye xdek masalah ke? x.. sbb saye terpakse letak jauh2 perasan sedey.. perasaan marah n perasaan sakit hati n kecik hati.. saye xnak org sedey2 n marah2 sbb saye.. tu mmg jujur dlm hati saye.. tp apekan daye.. saye hanye manusie biase.. saye ade dose.. saye x sempurna.. (huhu curhat habes ni.. asal2 nye x nk buat curhat sbb x suke buat curhat.. tp wallahua'lam..)
iA setiap kite akan ditimpe dugaan.. setiap dari kite diminta bersabar atas setiap dugaan.. saye mmg tgh bersabar.. dan as i said b4 saye ni manusie.. tahap kesabaran manusia berbeza2... saye xtau tahap kesabaran saye.. wallahua'lam.. hanye Allah SWT saje yg tahu.. tp kite hidup as muslims.. jgn la hidup menyusahkan org lain.. mmg bukn niat kite nk menyusahkan org lain.. jgn anggap dunie ni evolve around u only.. bukak mate luas2 n u'll see wut u're supposed to see..
kalo xnk amik ape yg saye kate kan ni.. it's up to u.. saye x leh pakse.. but u've heard from me.. hear from ur heart.. n u decide then.. which part of us are supposed to change.. so jom la sesame kite muhasabah diri n berubah la pd yg lebih baik.. huhu wallahua'lam..
jzkk n wassalam (segala caci-maki atau kaki-hamun.. bulih la disalurkan secare private or public.. i'll try to accept them..:D)

mati

Assalamualaikum wrt..

huhu dah lame x update.. ermm juz like i told u b4.. i'll decrease my time on blog.. huhu (tp hrp2 nye x membazir mase ke arah mende lain plak.. hehe

within one week.. parent pd 2 org kwn saye pergi menemuiNya.. semoge mereka ditempatkan di kalangan org yg soleh.. amen.. bile ade berite mcm tu barulah kite nk igt mati kan? astaghfirullah hal 'azim.. ada hadith yg menyebut (iA sahih..) ada seorang sahabt bertanya siapakah orang yang paling bijak, maka Rasulullah SAW menjwb orang yang paling bijak adalah orang yang mengingati mati.. so iA kite sesame amalkan..
saye ade pernah dgr someone ckp.. (n igt tau.. pendpt sesorg bulih ditolak atau bulih diterime kecuali org yg maksum iaitu our idol.. Rasulullah SAW..) org tu ckp.. bile 'tugas' kite atas dunie ni dah abes kite akan dimatikan-Nya.. well it's depends on us la kan either we want to do it or not.. whether we will do it or not.. saye ade pegi dgr satu ceramah ni.. dier kate kalu kite ni tiada gune nye pd 'dunie' bermakne kite ni adalah lebihan dunie.. huhu dunie.. dunie.. ape tu dunie?
dunie tu adalah alam yg kite hidup skrg ni.. makhluk Allah yg dah tue n kite ade 2 tugas besar atas dunie ni.. huhu (51:56) n (2:30) bukn saye nk kate org yg dah meninggal tu dah cukup tugas 2 tu.. x.. tu tugas besar sume org.. tugas yg saye mksd kan kat atas adalah tugas individu as in peranan kite ke atas perjalanan dunie yg Allah SWt dah aturkan.. huhu (tertibe saye rase saye nk tulih psl qadar.. yg org dok selalu pening.. hahahaa.. lain kali ar.. )
wokeh la.. ade org ajak borak kat ym la plak.. huhu

wsslm wrt..

i miss those days~

Assalamualaikum wrt...

saye saje je kurgkan tulih/update blog.. sbb saye berazam nk kurgkan mase saye n org lain kat blog.. huhu salah ke bace blog.. ermm bile kite mengabaikan ape yg kite sepatutnye buat mase tu.. but instead of that kite bace blog.. tu kire salah ar.. termasuk la buat mende lain.. (terase giler.. huhu)
saye x ade ramai kwn.. (cehh intro2 jek daa sedey dah..) saye x igt langsung muke kwn2 saye mase sekolah rendah.. name pon x igt.. muke kwn2 sekolah menengah form 1-3.. kalo x dek gambar saye mmg x igt.. n yg rapat2 mase sekolah tu.. saye igt la name diorg.. tp tu pon 2 3 org.. n saye x contact langsung ngan diorg skrg ni.. kalo org lain tu altho sekelas 3 thn.. saye skrg dah x igt muke n name diorg.. huhu.. saye naik form 4.. n form 5.. kalo diorg x g oversea..(kerek giler..) saye x igt la muke diorg.. xdek ar.. bukn nk kate saye igt muke n name diorg sbb diorg g oversea.. tp sbb kekdg saye bulih jumpe diorg kalo ade gathering kat oversea ke hape ke.. lepas spm.. saye g utm.. ermm lagi la.. x igt name n x igt muke sbb kejap jek.. pdhal.. everyday i spent my time with them.. same course same hall of residence.. lepas tu g kmb.. ermm x-classmates saye skrg pon dah x terkontek.. kalo muncul kat ym list..(yg btol2 online la..) kekdg tu tego la gak.. kalo x.. biar cam tu jek la.. JAHAT kan saye ni.. huhu sure lepas ni ramai x nk kwn ngan saye.. nape saye cam tu ek? nk maintain relationship kite ngan org sekeliling kite ni bukn sng.. org yg bunuh diri tu sure x dek kwn.. hukhuk..
so kengkwn saye skrg ni.. saye sgt syg.. fillah.. sng jek saye ckp ukhuwah fillah.. ukhuwah fillah.. mulut sedap la.. hati ngan badan ikut sekali ke? hukhuk.. memule saye pk nk tulih entry kali ni.. saye nk curhat sbenarnye.. n sesape yg bace entry ni.. ngan khusyuk nye adalah org yg btol2 nk tau psl saye.. sbb saye x nk letak dah address blog saye kat ym.. hukhuk.. xnk jadik GK dah.. curhat tu ape? curhat tu singkatan utk curahan hati.. sbb td bile saye pk2 balik.. i dont hav bestfren.. i dont hav anyone to call bile saye bosan.. bile saye tension.. when i need a break from my surrounding.. bile syae nk buat curhat.. hukhuk.. emo nye saye mlm ni.. ermm ape pendpt pembace? (ade ke ptt.. saye tnye pembace lak..) x pe2.. huhu.. ( a few pats/usapan on my back..) ya Allah tabahkanlah hati hambaMu ini dlm menempuh perjalanan hidup ini.. dan berkatilah jalan ini.. huhu jzkk kerana sudi mendgr.. (erkk membace)
wassalam wrt..

Download link!

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i didnt notice b4 but the download links were dead.. thnx coz informed me~ hehe so now the links are fixed and ready to use.. haha

this flower is actually tulip.. tp dier jd kembang giler kan.. haha i took the flower from plattfield when it perfectly blossomed.. then i put it in a jar wit water in it.. then after a day dier jd kembang cam tu.. well i really like the pic.. coz it's really white..

wassalam

Lafaz yang tersimpan

assalamualaikum wrt...

someone dedicated a song to me~ it's a very nice song..(n a new one) i browsed around n found the lyric.. hope u njoy the lyric..

Luluh hatiku yang sayu
Menatap wajahmu tenang dalam lena
Kasih zahirkan laku
Sedangkan bibirku jauh dari lafaznya

Dan raut tuamu membekas jiwaku
Meredakan rindu mendamaikan kalbu
Tak mungkin kutemu iras sentuhanmu
Biarpun kuredah seluruh dunia
Mencari gantimu

Betapa sukarnya menyusun bicara
Meluahkan rasa menuturkan sayang
Kasih yang terlimpah hanya sekadar
tingkah
Cuma ungkapan kebisuan yang
melindungkan kalimah rahsia

Masih kubiarkan waktu
Melarikan lafaz kasihku padamu

Mengapakah sukar menyusun bicara
Meluahkan rasa menuturkan sayang
Kasih yang terlimpah hanyalah sekadar
tingkah
Cumalah ungkapan bisu kalimah rahsia

Apakah yang hilang andai dilisankan
Bait penghargaan penuh kejujuran
Tak mungkin terlihat cinta yang merona
Jika hanya renungan mata yang bersuara
Bukan tutur kata

Tiada lagi ertinya pengucapan
Andai akhir nafas di hujung helaan
Sebelum mata rapat terpejam
Usah biar kehilangan
Menggantikan lafaz yang tersimpan

Spring has come~

In the mind of an athies

Assalamualaikum wrt..

Stephen William Hawking doesnt believe in God, but he is said as the most intelligent person alive..

“God not only plays dice. He also sometimes throws the dice where they cannot be seen.”

Ni lah keje org yg x percaye akan kewujudan tuhan. This is the proof if we learn without roh.. they dont hav objective in life.. mayb u can say their objective is to hav a great life.. but wut's the great life? u live a happy life n u get wut u want.. that's how we're living rite now.. with God watching us.. huhu

“... if there were a complete set of laws, that would infringe God's freedom to change his mind and intervene in the world. It's a bit like the old paradox: Can God make a stone so heavy that he can't lift it? But the idea that God might want to change his mind is an example of the fallacy, pointed out by St. Augustine, of imagining God as a being existing in time: time is a property only of the universe that God created. Presumably, he knew what he intended when he set it up!”

If u describe the God's characteristics as human's.. then that's not God.. God has all the good thing u can imagine and also all the good things that u cant.. u cant think logically all the time rite?
Someone said to me.. i forgot who she is(credit to her.. n to whom/where she got that).. she said that
"fikir adalah sifat roh dan dipanggil sbg aqal, perasaan adalah sifat roh dan dipanggil sbg hati, keinginan adalah sifat roh dan dipanggil sbg nafsu"

so how can we think logically.. how can we find aqal, hati n nafsu? huhu.. itu la sbb nye kite tak boleh fikir terlalu dlm n terlalu curious.."curiosity kills the cat!"

“... if we do discover a complete theory, it should in time be understandable in broad principle by everyone, not just a few scientists. Then we shall all, philosophers, scientists, and just ordinary people, be able to take part in the discussion of the question of why it is that we and the universe exist. If we find the answer to that, it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason - for then we would know the mind of God.”

as u read all his theory.. u can see that he is in searching for the purpose of life.. pity him! mayb bcoz of that, he denies the existence of God.. huhu

" Allah tidak sekali-kali akan membiarkan orang-orang yang beriman dalam keadaan yang kamu ada sekarang (bercampur aduk mukmin dan munafik, bahkan Dia tetap menguji kamu) sehingga Dia memisahkan yang buruk (munafik) daripada yang baik (beriman) dan Allah tidak sekali-kali akan memperlihatkan kepada kamu perkara-perkara yang ghaib akan tetapi Allah memilih dari RasulNya sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya (untuk memperlihatkan kepadanya perkara-perkara yang Ghaib). Oleh itu berimanlah kamu kepada Allah dan Rasul-rasulNya dan jika kamu beriman dan bertakwa, maka kamu akan beroleh pahala yang besar." (3:179)

hoho~ PDC 2

assalamualaikum wrt..

alhamdulillah.. i dont know bout other ppl but for me.. the prog is a success.. altho i'm really tired rite now n going to in deep sleep after this.. but iA another step for me.. ya Allah plz show me the right path and guide me.. without U i'm nobody..
i'm still learning.. my emaan is still rather small.. ermm i dont think it can be measured.. huhu i always practice wut i believe.. strongly believe.. i believe that i hav to give the others wut i love most.. i've been trying to do that... ade satu cerite
as i hav to handle the lost n found department.. i dont hav time to grab some food served.. i noticed that there're some left.. huhu.. i asked around that if there's anyone that stillhavnt eat their lunch.. n there's none.. huhu i'm willing to give them mine if the food is still not enuf.. its only natural when it's under ur nose rite? huhu.. but after a while.. the food is gone.. then when i looked around i saw a few of my frenz were eating the food.. so i felt a bit guilty coz they hav to eat so late at that time.. i asked them.. but they said that they ate already.. that's their second round.. huhu so i said to them that i still havnt eat anything.. but somewhere in my heart.. i felt a bit disappointment.. huhu i hate that feeling.. i said that i 'm willing to give wut i love to others.. but it's juz food..:(( i know that my emaan is still baby.. and i hope it's growing.. huhu
wokehs la.. hav to do something.. jazakumullahu khairan to all yg bertungkus lumus n bersama2 saye/kami menjayekan prog ini..
wassalam wrt..

mujahid~

assalamualaikum wrt.. alhamdulillah mujahid sehat~ kak mum in happy mode *twink*twink*


sayang mujahid~

risau~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

this evening i'm going to birmingham.. leaving kak mum behind.. naseb baik ade kak aida.. n inayah's sis also will b staying ere till wednesday.. so hopefully someone's there if anything happen..
i'm waiting for kak mum.. she's praying rite now.. her appointment to get the baby scanned is at 3 pm.. so iA i'll wit her.. also wit a few sisters.. huhu amat lah bimbang sgt skrg.. plz make du'a for kak mum and mujahid.. the baby's still 32 weeks old but still looked rather small..
hukhuk.. wokeh la got to go now..
wassalam wrt..

si dia..

Assalamualaikum wrt...

****: sheila, saye sedih la dah jadi macam ni
saye: sume org sedih kalo dah jadi macam ni, tapi jangan sampai menyalahkan takdir lak
****: *start nangis*
saye: *tgk jek sbb x reti pujuk org nangis*
****: kekdg saye rase nak lari jejauh dr org lain.. nk idop sensorg.. xnk blaja.. xnk amik exam.. xnk sume.. huhu tp saye tahu.. tu lari name nye tu..
saye: *mata masih menatap muke *****
****: *tangisannya mula reda*
saye: serius nk ckp, awak nangis horror la..
****: saye tau, ade org ckp cam tu
saye: pastue?
****: saye x kesah, ni la saye yg sbenarnye. Horror sgt ke?
saye: agak lah.. saye x pnah tgk org sebesar awak ni nangis cam tu skali
****: *dah mule tersenyum sbb di'puji'
saye: awak tau x nape org ckp cam tu.. org ckp cam tu bukan saje2 tau
****: nape?
saye: org ckp cam tu sbb org tu x thn tgk awak nangis
****: *tgk saye dgn muke pelik*
saye: ye la.. sbb rase sakit tgk awak nangis cam tu

--------------------------------------------------------------

kalau org ckp sorg tu nangis lawa.. mknenye dier suke tgk org tu nangis..(apekah?)

wassalam wrt..

salam wrt..

Sir George Bernard Show 'The Genuine Islam' - Vol. 1 No.8 1926

"If any religion had the chance of ruling over England, nay Europe within the next hundred years, it could be Islam"

wassalam

penat~

Assalalamualaikum wrt..

first and foremost.. anything that i write here is fillah.. bukn nk komplain.. bukn nk menyebarkan fitnah(mksd fitnah dlm bahase arab ek.. bukn melayu) kdg2 org salah anggap psl tulih blog ni.. x salah kan.. yg salah adalah bile kite menimbulkan fitnah atau pun terlalu taksub (sama ada pemikiran atau pun masa)

yesterday.. kak mum cerite kat saye.. ade a few adek2 dtg umah mase hari sabtu.. saye x dek coz g jumpe kwn.. from her story.. i really can understand how they feel.. kak mum adalah seorang yg baik.. sgt frenly.. letak jek sesape sure kak mum buleh masuk ngan org tu.. saye bukn berniat nk mengagung2 kan kak mum.. tapi itulah yg saye respect ngan kak mum.. sbb itulah antare ciri2 yg saye xdek.. kalo letak saye ngan sesape yg ntah dari mane.. kompem x bertegur sape.. lebey kurg ngan org melayu.. letak la sorg bdk melayu (pompuan la) mungkin la saye tegur or dier tegur.. tapi x kan sampai tahap kak mum nyer.. from the first meeting dier buleh berborak cam dah lame knal n org tu buleh comfortable ngan kak mum.. same as me mase saye first year..
kite as muslim kenelah apabila org tgk kite.. akan mengingatkan org itu pd islam.. (?) mmg la kalo locals kat sini sure la bile diorg tgk kite.. first thing adalah islam yg iorg pk.. kalaulah org tu berjaye mengingatkan kite pd islam (tanpa org tu bukak mulut.. or belum pun org tu buat ape2) mknenye org tu mmg berjaye menyampaikan ape yg septtnye disampaikan.. saye nk jadi org mcm tu.. tp saye x nk la lepas ni korg tgk saye pastue terigt entry saye pastue terigt islam.. tu bukn niat saye or tu bukn ape yg saye nak.. saye x nk la amik shortcut cam tu.. mmg la in the end org tu akan terigt pd islam.. tp tu x kan tahan lame.. kalo saye tulih psl mende lain.. dier akan terigt psl mende tu pulak kan? huhu.. manusia ni mudah lupa.. so sentiase la ingat mengingati.. walau dgn sesiapa pun.. that's the best thing to do kan..

jumpe lagi kat next entry..see u when i see u..

wassalam wrt..

apekah

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i love my frens.. y? ermmm coz...(?) nape ek? ntah la.. i cant find the real reason.. i love them.. fillah.. so much that i dont wanna find any substitute.. my family jenis yg x cakap kalo sayang kat someone.. our actions determine how much we love someone.. tapi mayb sbb pengaruh kengkwn sekeliling saye nie.. i started to say such words.. everyday.. someone said to me before.. those words can b ur gud luck.. of course we dont believe such thing but kan Allah SWT pernah cakap dalam al-Quran.. yg kite kene la sayang saudara kite seperti kite sayang diri kite sendiri.. hehe..

aku berteleku seketika
langit membawa berita
gerimis bakal berkunjung

hatiku sayu
sedu menahan sebak
inikah yang akan kuterima?
inikah balasannya?
inikah keputusanNya?
inikah pengakhirannya?

ya Allah
teguhkanlah hati-hati ini
satukanlah hati-hati ini
sesungguhnya kami
rindukan redhaMu..

wassalam

Nothing to offer

one by one
falling thru ur cheek
ur eyes
looking at me

i hav nothing
nothing to offer

i dont hav money
but i hav shoulder
for u to cry on

i dont hav car
but i hav hand
to reach out for u
when u fell

i dont hav status
but i hav heart
to transmit my love

please dont cry
ur tears
tearing me apart

Look into my eyes - Outlandish

learn as u're growing!

Assalamualaikum wrt..

these a few days i dont feel ok.. ermm org kate sbb perubahan cuace.. tp whether kat sini sejuk cam tu gak.. xdek tande2 nk berubah pon except u can find bunge2 kecik kat padang2.. hehe so cute~

a couple of weeks ago.. i watched a reality tv show.. well yg educated la.. its not like akademi fantasia.. the show investigates how u should watch over children's food.. that time they proved that if u restricted certain food to ur children.. they will b more interested in that food.. for example in ur house ur mom keep well chocs n sweets.. ur mom said that u can only eat certain amount of them per day.. in the show.. an experiment was carried out for a bout a week or 10 days..(i cant remember) in the experiment dier gune 2 bende.. satu raisins and another one is mango yg dah dikeringkan(i forgot wut's called).. at first (dier gune sample kanak2 kat nursery) diorg suke 2-2 same rate.. but after the experiment was carried out.. they like raisins more than the mango.. sbb raisins hanye buleh makan at restricted time.. but the mango buleh all the time.. then they make a conclusion.. if u wanna restrict ur children in something.. it's better kalo x dek langsung.. huhu
it's the same thing with other things than food.. such as tv.. tv? huhu ermmm camne ek? huhu buleh ke? hmmm
wassalam wrt

Why i became a muslim?

As for Islam Awareness Week, i went to the second talk this evening.. n i really interested in the topic.. pierced thru my heart and numbed my head.. i always had a this kind of thought in my head.. that one day ppl will get the hidayah.. but i forgot that it's our responsibility.. it's our job to make sure everyone of them reaches that point.. and after we do our best.. it's all in qadar/fate..

there're 4 speakers.. 3 brothers and a sister.. the sister is jus reverted to islam about 3 months a go.. she's from Italy and been staying ere for about 4 years.. from brothers side.. 2 of them are Niger and another one is british.. among the brothers yg saye plaing respect adalah yg british tu.. he reverted to islam 4 years a go and after he became a muslim he went to study in egypt.. n wow! that's a great turn in his life.. when he recites the ayaah.. it's like he understand every bit of them and it amazes me.. he's still in his Manchester slang.. n the way he explains things is really interesting.. coz he went thru wut non-muslims go thru.. also the others..
there's a similar pattern in their past life.. it proves 'hadith logam'.. i cant find the exact sentence but it sounds like this..:"manusia itu seperti logam. Jika dia hebat ketika jahiliyyahnya, maka dia akan hebat ketika Islamnya, sekiranya dia faham"

there was one analogy that i really interested in.. after we understand wut islam is all about.. it's like we are in highway.. we look to the other side.. it's jammed, there're accidents, ppl in panic, ppl in pain etc etc.. but ppl keep going to the same direction coz they dont know about the accident.. it's really open up our eyes n our mind.. we clearly know where we are going n we clearly know wut we should do..

one of the speakers said to us(muslims in the hall) that the number of non-muslims is showing that we're not doing our work.. the fact that the quantity of muslims is greater than the number of non-muslims proves that we're not progressing.. one question was asked.. wut is the best method of da'wahif we want to spread the islam to the ppl around us.. considering that we hav many non-muslims frens.. he said our akhlaq.

wassalam wrt..

the purpose of life~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i went to a talk sempena Islamic Awareness Week yesterday(monday).. the speaker is a Niger and reverted to Islam when he was young.. i thot the talk will bout the topic and a bit more in approaching non-muslims.. but mayb bcoz of most of the audiences are muslims.. he seems to focus more on muslims.. so i'm a bit disappointed.. huhu..

since he was young till now.. he said he is still treated differently bcoz of his race and sebab tu lah dier agak tekan kan sket la psl isu racism ni.. he said that the racism thing was started by Satan.. when the Satan said something about race when Allah asked Satan to give respect to Adam.. so y we're following Satan altho we said Satan is our enemy? huhu.. it was my first time hearing things like that..

he told us one story tht i've nvr heard.. i'm not sure where he took the story.. one man did all the good deeds, prays and a very good 'muslim' for about 60 years.. then one day he committed a sin - zina(adultery) for a bout 6 days.. pastue dier insaf and for 3 days dier dok kat dlm masjid.. he did nothing but on the third day he had a bread roll.. he divided the bread into 2.. one he gave it to the person on his right n one to his left.. then ditakdirkan oleh Allah SWT.. he died.. bile mase Hari Perhitungan.. the 6 days he committed zina is heavier than the 60 years he did the ibadah.. but bile timbang ngan bread roll tu.. bread roll is heavier..

~kite bukan selalu g usrah.. ermm mayb skrg kite x join pun usrah.. so y not we support who're striving to make ppl around us understand bout Islam by attend their lecture.. well if u feel that ilmu islam kat dada dah cukup(nauzubillah).. that's the least thing we can do rite? we can spend our time go to cinema.. we mark our calendar on the valentine's day.. so y not we do the same thing to the islamic talk? it's worth ur time, i'm not going to say trust me.. but trust Allah k~

IPK aka PDC macam2~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

bertemu lagi kite di meja blogger yg amat sket ilmu/pengalaman yg nk dikongsi.. hehe.. my parents bukn jenis yg mengatakn sayang dan kasihnya pd kami, anak2nya.. so bcoz of that i dont know how to express my feelings to other ppl/frens.. my mom( we call her mama..:p) kuat gak ar membebell. thats y saye pon turut la mewarisi tahap kronik kebebelannya itu.. haha well mama suka buat sesuatu as an act to show her gratitude to us.. ermm cnthnye.. mase summer ari tu saye balik umah for the first time after saye dtg oversea.. saye skrg suke pakai baju kurung.. baju punjab(jubah seluar).. baju sampai lutut.. baju cotton.. dress yg 2 lapis.. i've never say a word bout my dressing, bout i want this or i want that kind of baju.. or stuff like that.. but after a few days saye balik umah.. (she's still working as a teacher n my father dah pencen..hehe skrg hobby dier tanam pokok keliling umah.. sbb tu la bilek saye byk pokok..:D) one day my mom balik2 umah dr keje ngan satu beg plastic kat tgn.. tertibe dier hulur kat saye ngan sengih2.. (huhu i miss that smile..) saye cam terkejut ar sbb x sangke kan.. well selain baju kurung.. parents saye dah lame x belikan baju... huhu bile saye bukak tu dapatla baju jubah seluar 2 psg.. yg saye suke giler kaler dier.. huhu..

ok ok dah.. udah.. saye baru knal ngan sorg postgrad ni..her name is mkck Ummi Kalthom.. yesterday we had a circle wit k asyif.. at that time.. cik Ummi came to our house.. coz dier boring dok sorg2 kat umah.. xdek org kat umah.. so she asked to join the circle.. of course la buleh.. among a few topics yg kitorg diskas ade la psl yg nape org yg dah lalai or dah terpesong dr jln Allah SWT yg sbenar.. kite tgk diorg hidup sng n kaye raye.. ermm kitorg tau la yg sure la diorg dah x dihiraukan oleh Allah SWT.. tu yg diorg x dek dugaan.. pastue Cik Ummi pon cite la.. dier pnah dgr sorg ustaz ni ckp.. analogy bg kes tu.. cam sorg mak yg tgh buat keje pastue ade la anak dier dtg kacau.. mak dier ni malas nk layan... so mak dier pon kasi la duit suruh g beli aiskrim or g main jauh2..
it struck me really hard.. coz saye x pnah terfikir analogy cam tu kan.. sedey kan kalo jadi cam tu.. coz mknenye bdk tu dah xdek nilai di mate mak dier.. sbb ye la.. dier g kaco mak dier sbb nk perhatian mak dier kan.. tp sbb dah x dek nilai mak dier x perhatikan or x layan ar.. saye bukn nk kate yg org yg lalai tu g ngadu kat Allah SWT tp Allah SWT x layan.. bukan!!! tp nak kate tu la perumpamaan.. sedey kan? n saye bukn nk kate org kaye tu sume nye lalai.. bukan.. harta tu adalah satu dugaan gak.. tp org yg makin kaye n gune harte tu ke arah keduniaan jugak.. tu la yg Allah SWT malas nk layan dah tu.. tp iA kalo org yg dah tak dihiraukan tu.. kalo kembali pd jln sbenar.. Allah SWT seluas2 nya bukak pintu rahmatNya kan.. analogy nye.. spt seorg pemilik unta betine yg dpt balik untanya yg ilang.. unta kan pd zaman dulu sgt berharge.. tmbh2 lak unte betine.. bleh dpt susu.. nnt dpt anak ramai.. cam ferrari ar zaman skrg.. (ermm mcm ku dgr ayat nie.. hehe) kalo dah hilang tu mesti la g cari kan.. unta mane ade aqal kan.. so kat padang pasir tu kalo dah ilang tu kompem la sesat.. x kan la unte tu ade sesungut cam semut buleh carik jln balik.. so bile pemilik unte tu dah give up.. dier bersandar la kat pokok.. give up kan.. dah la panas.. tau kan camne perasaan give up pd mende yg sgt berharge.. tertibe dr kejauhan dier ternampak unte dier tu berjalan menuju ke arah nye.. dgn sendirinye.. suke x pemilik tu? mesti ar suke giler.. huhu.. mase tu saye pk huiyooo.. kalo la mende yg saye paling syg ilang pastue dtg balik.. tang tang tu gak la g bungkus elok2 mende tu kan.. simpan tmpt yg selamat.. supaye x ilang..kalo nk dibandingkan gembire Allah SWT lagi berbanding pemilik unte tu kalo kite kembali pdNya.. analogy saje tu.. huhu.. wokeh la.. dah pnjg dah ni.. sbenarnye saye nk tulih psl IPK or PDC yg baru selesai td.. tp x pe la.. hehe dakwat pen dah kering

wassalam wrt... uhibukunna fillah~

Miracle in the womb

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i watched tv juz now.. and ditakdirkan at that time ade rancangan miracle in the womb.. the program is about pregnancy and twins.. how the twins survive in the womb comparing to a single baby.. me n k mum wanted to watch this prog for so long.. hehe but poor k mum.. she had circle at that time..
it's very interesting.. u should watch it.. i mean when i hav the chance.. there're a lots of new things i get from it.. antarenye i juz knew that after 27 pregnancy the fetus can open its eyes n sees the surrounding.. well it never struck me b4.. i juz cant imagine how it's like to juz see that only sight for more than 10 weeks.. well i'm sure that baby will nvr get bored of it.. well yeah.. it can nvr imagine wut's life after it gets out..
in the prog it shows a lots of things bout twins.. there're also triplet n quad.. (i'm not sure whether i'm using the right term..:p) hav u observed one of the child among the twins.. when they hav a fight amng those two.. one of them will go to his/her bed n lays his/her head down on the pillow.. they said that in the womb it's also like that.. they will get comfortable when they lay down on the placenta..
actually i hav things to complain today... but bcoz i watched the prog TODAY so i'll write bout those things 2morrow.. well things like how ppl in Malaysia try to realize their ideal nation.. how ppl try to fight for their justice while it's not the case for others.. lots of things that play wit ur common sense..

(3:61) Kemudian sesiapa yang membantahmu (wahai Muhammad) mengenainya, sesudah engkau beroleh pengetahuan yang benar, maka katakanlah kepada mereka: Marilah kita menyeru anak-anak kami serta anak-anak kamu dan perempuan-perempuan kami serta perempuan-perempuan kamu dan diri kami serta diri kamu, kemudian kita memohon kepada Allah dengan bersungguh-sungguh, serta kita meminta supaya laknat Allah ditimpakan kepada orang-orang yang berdusta.

The People of the Boxes - Dawud Warnsby Ali

There were once some people who all saw their lives like empty boxes.
They looked all around the world, collecting up the things they liked.
They filled their lives and empty boxes with the goodies that they gathered
And they all felt in control, content, and they all felt alright.
Then they climbed inside their boxes and they settled with their trinkets.
They neither looked, nor learned much more and closed their lids up tight.
Once they’d fastened up their boxes they smiled there inside,
and they all thought in their darkness that the world was clear and bright.
But the world is not a box.
There’s no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks,
and everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks
is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of mankind.
It's a piece of the peace of Islam.

Along came a wondering wise man whispering such words of truth,
who stumbled on these boxes, so separate side by side.
He knocked upon the first one saying, “Please come out and feel the day.”
An answer came from deep within, “You’re not of us please go away.”
He approached the second box and tapped thrice on the lid saying,
“Peace to you inside, shall I show you a new way?”
Someone peeked out from a crack and said, “You may just have a point,
but it’s so comfy in my box, in my box here I will stay.”
But the world is not a box.
There’s no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks,
and everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks
is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of mankind.
It's a piece of the peace of Islam.

He stood before the final box, a hiding face peeked out to him,
and much to his surprise, he said “I recognize those eyes!
I see you and you see me so why not come out and be free?
Faith and flowers wilt and die if they are hidden from the sky!
`Cause the world is not a box.
There’s no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks,
and everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks
is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of mankind.
It's a piece of the peace of Islam.”

Now centuries lie between all the prophets and you and I.
Civilizations are born and die each and every day.
We see good and bad and happy-sad and mad mistakes
we wish we hadn’t made in our attempt to try and live up to their way.
But if we hide ourselves away, afraid to grow and learn,
we might wake up in the flames of the ignorance that burns,
and we’ll never be much more than only casualties of war
in a struggle we can’t win if we have no faith to begin.
We’ve got to tip the lid and let some sunlight in,
`Cause the world is not a box.
There’s no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks,
and everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks
is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of mankind.
It's a piece of the peace of Islam

my heart is aching~

assalamualaikum wrt..

i hav a fren.. i can say a quite close fren.. we always exchange mail n msg.. n of course to the extent she tell me her problems.. of course i can only comfort her n give her words of encouragement.. i did n do wut i can for her.. but bcoz of certain circumstances... those are still not enuf.. (i think she'll read this.. hehe sori ek.. but this is wut i feel~)

recently her problems increase.. she havnt solve her old problems but the new ones keep on rise.. i really love her n it hurts me seeing her like that.. struggling wit the problems.. yeah! i know everyone has their own problems.. n also a quite amount of it.. but bcoz of the one i care so much.. that's y i dont want to give others trouble.. yeah~ of course all of us dont wanna give others trouble by being hard to handle but it's juz bcoz everyone is different.. i hav such feeling till i become someone who's almost 'ok' wit everything.. that's y when u ask me to decide one something such as where to eat, where to stay, when to eat (such daily things or such small things) u'll hear me say ' i dont care' or it's up to u'.. it's not that i juz follow the others trend or something like that.. but bcoz i'm really 'ok' wit it..

ermm berbalik pd kwn saye td.. this morning i received a msg from her.. she's facing a few probs that connected (like food-chain..:p) she told me her probs n wut she feels about them.. but in the middle of that.. she had to stop.. bcoz of a new prob.. waaaa :( everytime i recall that.. my heart aches.. i feel like i wanna fly like superwoman to go to her.. i wanna hold her hand.. (xleh describe more.. jadik pelik haha) but that's fren for u rite? so dont hurt ur fren.. n dot get hurt over something trivial.. that's when Satan will whisper to ur heart.. huhu

got to go now.. wut do u think of that? can we live without frens? our mouth will say 'no, we cant'!! but will our body plus our mind say the same thing? time to muhasabah ourselves..

wassalam wrt..

brighter day..

one day..
walking through another hard day
every step i take
heavier as ever

i look up to the sky
it is such a dark day..
i lose all the energy
to take another step forward..

u reach out ur hand
u smile for me
u wait till i stand up

suddenly
my legs feel lighter
the sky look so blue

it is just another bright day..

I Only Ask of God - Outlandish

kite baik ke jahat?

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i juz got back from leamington 5 juz now.. while on my way back.. i'm thinking bout wut ain said to me.. huhu i joined k jah n am's circle.. it's not my circle.. so ain said i'm a good person..(ermm kalo tulih dlm bashe inggeris.. hilang feel dier.. dier kate "waa.. baiknye sheila.." something like that..) it's not that i want to justify everything i did or do.. it's juz every single step that u take.. u hav reasons for it rite? i feel i'm not good enuf.. i feel that i really need to be reminded all the time.. that's y i choose to stay wit someone next yr.. but when someone said that sentence to me.. sometimes tergugat gak la.. our real intention will mixed up.. n sometimes will lost our way.. huhu i dont want that.. so plz dont praise me.. i dont deserve that.. i dont need that..

y ppl praise others? coz they only want to express their feelings clearly to others? or juz sbb nk amik hati org tu? sejauh manekah keikhlasan hati kite? same tinggikah keikhlasan hati kite spt Bilal yg suaranye dpt dinikmati oleh malaikat2? huhu..

"ketahuilah pada setiap jasad itu seketul daging. Andainya ia baik, baiklah seluruh jasad itu dan sekiranya ia rosak maka rosaklah seluruh jasad itu. Itulah hati"

wassalam

masa makin berkurang, kerja makin bertambah

assalamualaikum wrt..

i'm making 2 posts today..

i read an article in Berita Harian juz now..u can read it ere n this is only my opinion.. no influence from other source or any party..
"Sebenarnya, jihad mempertahankan negara boleh dilihat dalam pelbagai sudut. Setiap Muslim boleh digelar pejuang asalkan melakukan sesuatu usaha untuk kebaikan negara. Sesuatu yang dilakukan dengan satu semangat yang kental dan ikhlas adalah satu jihad."

In the article, it said that we 'wajib' defending our country.. it makes me think.. who put us in that situation? i mean other than Allah SWT, who else can say we 'wajib' or 'haram' or 'harus' etc etc.. siape kite nk menjatuhkan hukum ke atas sesuatu.. i know ade berbagai care nk menjatuhkan hukum.. cam ijma' ulamak.. gune maqasid n stuff.. tp cube bygkan we live in US (i mean as US citizens) so kite wajib la memperthnkan US? altho they send their army to palestine? altho they help Israel? *sigh*
ade juge hukum hakam yg ditentukan oleh pemerintah.. tp kalo pemerintah yg x berlandaskan hukum yg Allah tetapkan? perlukah kite? saye tau saye jahil tp i'm learning n i'm responding..
wut i cant agree with the author is dier kate untuk kebaikan negare.. kalo lah dier berani nk mengishtiharkan negare yg wajib diperthnkan tu negare Islam.. iA anytime i'll be willing to go to jihad.. n as the author said jihad x semestinye berperang.. huh tertibe saye rase sgt emotional.. yup i'm very emotional in this matter.. coz ni lah lembah ternakan saye.. padang tanaman saye.. ni lah saham saye.. kalo saye salah.. i'm willing to take any comment/correction or anything.. but something has to be done..

hehe wokeh la.. got work to do.. wassalam

merengek saje~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

hehe.. dlm previous entry.. nmpk kan saye bengang giler.. hehe x dek ape2 tu.. saye dah ok dah.. sometimes bile saye x rase marah i tell myself to suppress my anger kalo saye marah.. kan kite tau marah tu adalah salah satu care syaitan nk membisik dlm hati kite.. syaitan tunggu peluang nk bisik kat hati kite.. so i always tell myself.. i should be composed n calm down.. tp bile saye dlm keadaan marah or bengang.. i forget all that.. it's juz i know but i cant.. huhu.. ni la bukti lemahnye kite as manusia kan.. hati kite.. kite x semestinye dpt control..

last nite yana came to our house.. yana selalu gak ar bace blog saye.. so dier tau ar psl entry yg saye tgh marah2 tu.. yana xtau org umah ni x bace blog saye.. pastue mase tgh borak2 tu terkantoi ar.. ape lagi.. lepas tu k asyif bace ar (dier jumpe blog saye dr yana nye blog..cehh) pastue k mum lak bace.. (pengaruh k asyif) pastue k zai.. ermm lepas tu sume org tau!!! waaaaaaaa... saye tulih sume tu sbb saye tau org umah ni mmg x bace blog.. waaaa huhuhuhuhuuu.. i didnt mean that.. ye la... mmg la saye yg tulih tp saye kan dlm keadaan marah.. the next day lepas saye marah tu saye dah ok balik dah.. bile saye pk balik saye rase nyesal la.. but at that time i didnt know wut to do.. i didnt know how to calm down.. i'm not sure whether this is hadith or not.. yg kate kalo kamu berdiri ketike tgh marah, make duduk lah.. n so on.. so dah byk kali saye duduk.. siap tido lagi bile duduk x berjaye.. i took a shower.. i pray.. (ermm mayb doa saye x termakbul mase tu :((..)

saye xtau ape org lain pk mase bace blog saye tu.. but i believe ppl around me know me better.. hehe nway thnx to every1.. my housemates yg bace blog saye tu.. gave me hugz.. comfort me n stuffs tp mase tu saye dah ok.. dah terlebih ok dah.. hehe nway jzkk

well this is juz curahan hati saye yg x seberape nie.. saye xdek la baik sgt.. saye x dek la best pon dibawak berkwn.. so terime lah saye seade nye.. iA saye akan terime org lain seadenye..

wassalam

sometimes wut u give, u wont get it back~

assalamualaikum wrt..

wut will i write below is juz for my satisfaction n tidak ditujukan kpd mane2 pihak.. so dont misunderstand or making assumption..
saye penat.. balik ke rumah to get some rest.. mase mule2 masuk umah rase best coz my stuff arrived earlier... so i took my stuff n went upstairs to my room.. waaa cant wait to reach my sweet room.. i reached at my door.. the door was opened.. i had a bad feeling bout that.. so i opened my room.. i was speechless.. this is not how i left my room 2 days ago.. ade a few selimut on my bed.. a few pillows that r not supposed to be there.. alas carpet dilipat pdhal septtnye terbentang kat atas carpet.. ade a few sampah n carpet kotor.. perfume bilek x dipasang.. tingkap tak dibukak.. heater terpasang.. my cd jatuh.. ade org gune shampoo (kitorg stuju x share) n byk lagi kalo saye nk buat list.. bukn saye saje nk carik salah tp nie lah dugaan.. Allah akan duga kite ngan apa yg paling kite care.. all the stuff tu ok lagi.. tp bile saye tgk comp saye switched off~ saye dah sampai x leh layan k zai.. biasenye saye akan berborak biase tp saye senyap jek.. i cant say any words coz it will explodes me.. boleh kalo nk gune bilek saye.. tp tinggalkan brg saye yg digunekan tu dlm keadaan asal.. bile saye switched on balik my comp.. there's something wrong wit my comp.. lagi la saye (.....) internet connection teruk giler.. n i hav to restarted my comp TWICE!!..
pokok2 kat bilek saye layu.. sbb x bukak tingkap n sbb bukak heater.. bile saye g toilet.. ade alas kaki yg tgh dijemur tp heater x bukak lak.. tingkap x bukak lak.. camne nk kering kalo cam tu..

i took a shower to cool my head down.. n when k asyif opened the door without knocked it first, i juz blew up! sorry k asyif.. kalo saye ckp ngan sesape skrg nie saye akan tension..

i'll pray after this.. i dont hav anyone but Allah~

What is rest-time?

Assalamualaikum wrt..

Setelah sekian lame.. barulah dapat update blog.. hehehe~ well it's not that i dont hav any to write about.. but coz too much things happened that i dont know wut should i write.. hahha such an obvious reason..
i read inayah's blog juz now.. well ermm more to- updating myself bout my frens.. hahah jahat kan saye.. bile ade mase free baru la nk amik tau psl kwn sekeliling.. keh keh keh.. dlm blog inayah tu.. she wrote something bout a blog that she used to read.. one thing came to my mind.. hafizbar's blog!! so i open the blog.. ermm the latest entry ;-

"adakah anda di luar sana peka, bahawa salah satu iklan yg rasa2 lucu kat dlm TV skarang (org pakai sut kuning mcm bodoh) menggunakan lagu GEREJA dalam iklan tersebut... Iklan tersebut telah mempengaruhi masyarakat kita dengan menyanyikan lagu tersebut secara tidak sedar kerana cuba mengikut rentak lagu GEREJA tersebut... dipetik " KU KAN MENGIKUT MU, KEMANA SAJA KAU PERGI" or dlm bahasa INGGERIS "I'm gonna follow him" "HIM" merujuk kepada ISA @ JESUS... Hal ini sedikit sebanyak telah memesongkan akidah umat Islam secara halus melalui pengaruh Iklan dan lagu tersebut.. Ramai yang tidak sedar akan hal ini dan mengatakan iklan tersebut best atau pun lucu... tapi sebenarnya itulah stategi org kafir utk mhancurkan agama ISLAM... semoga kita sedar dan dpt menghindari hal ini secara lebih tegas!"

hmm.. i havnt seen the adv.. but one thing i can say.. lemah sgt kah iman muslims kat malaysia sampai sebegitu sekali.. satu hal kalo btol la mende tu terjadi n kalo btol la itu realitinye.. kite xdek mase rehat pon.. satu hal lagi i heard bout the holy water tu.. but from source that i really trust.. it's juz rumour n really ridiculous.. so x kan la mende tu akan effect our iman? helooo!!! hina sgtkah iman kite sampai buleh dipermainkan sebegitu sekali.. cehh.. it's juz the same thing bout rumours yg 'akum' tu..

i know it's not my place to comment something that i even havnt seen it yet.. tp mende2 macam nie kan kite x leh lepas pndg.. iA we'll 2gether go thru this thing n Allah is always wit us.. juz pray n run towards the red-line k!! hehe wassalam

one of my worst days!!

18/01/07 - this is actually the entry for 18/01 but that day i was too depressed to write it up in this blog.. so i juz wrote it in notepad n save it... soo troublesome to edit it into the rite date so i juz leave it like this.. huhu~

2day was a bad day.. my 'last-hope' paper ruined!! almost got blow away in the middle of road.. lost my QnA paper in the middle of road.. got laughed at coz of that n coz of had to hide myself among cars in the middle of 'ribut taufan'.. almost missed the paper that i had to take 2day.. really hungry so bad that had to cook maggi coz cant wait for nasik to be properly cooked.. internet connection really slow coz of the 'ribut taufan'.. downloaded wrong file plus a big file n hard to download.. feel so down coz of that.. comp so slow coz edit a video for youtube.. but when i opened the youtube page(my account) it has been suspended.. so i lost all my video inside youtube.. cursed youtube n swear that wont create another account(well i'm sure i can do that or not..) need to study for 2morrow paper but feel so sleepy rite now.. open my blog-site but cant log in..(always like that) open ym.. got sooo many offline msg.. wanted to online but dont wish to b disturb so i just logged out back.. feel sooo pathetic rite now.. i just wanna live happily~ T-T

Renungan Hamba - Missile

Selalu ku sesali dosa
dan selalu ku ulang kembali
dan Kau masih memberi kebahagiaan
ku bukan hamba pilihan

Allah berfirman
"Wahai manusia!
Aku hairan pada orang yakin akan kematian
tapi dia hidup bersuka ria
Aku hairan pada orang yang yakin akan
pertanggungjawaban segala amal perbuatan di akhirat
tapi dia asyik mengumpul dan mengumpul harta benda

Aku hairan pada orang yang yakin kubur tapi dia tertawa terbahak-bahak

Aku hairan pd org yg yakin akan adanya alam akhirat tapi dia menjalani kehidupan dgn bersantai2
Aku hairan pada org yg yakin akan kehancuran dunia tapi ia menggantunginya
Aku hairan pada intellectual yang bodoh pada soal moral


Aku hairan pada org yg bersuci dgn air sementara hatinya masih tetap kotor
Aku hairan pada org yg sibuk mencari cacat dan aib org lain sementara ia tidak sedar sama sekali cacat yang pada dirinya sendiri
Aku hairan pada org yg yakin bhw Allah senantiasa mengawasi segala perilaku nya tapi ia berbuat durjana
Aku hairan pada org yg sedar akan kematiannya kemudian akan tinggal dalam kubur seorg diri
lalu..."

pastue saye dgr satu perkataan yg saye x paham.. then i stopped.. give up!!! i repeated a few times in order to get wut the word is.. huhu.. i understand but i cant write it in my own words.. x original la..

bile saye jumpe lirik dier yg sbenar... i'll post it ere k!!

wslm

Do we hav any say?

Surat untuk mama

Assalamualaikum wrt..

Mama ape khabar? sihat? ermm kakla (refer to me laaa...) x bape sihat skrg nie.. ade batuk2 sket.. sori lame x call.. kerja harian membantutkan niat di hati agar sentiasa berhubung..
i didnt tell u in the phone last time, *cough* *cough* tapi batuk nie dah berpanjangan selama beberapa hari dah.. i juz dont wanna make things complicated.. as u know my body is quite strong.. saye jarang demam n bleh dikatekan kuat gak la.. berbndg other girls.. remember that time u complimented me on how strong i am when i could carry those big pots in front of our house.. do u know how happy i am when u acknowledged me like that.. mase tu saye fikir saye buleh senangkan dan gembirekan mama so that u can work happily..
*cough* do u know y i suddenly write this letter to u? coz i know u rn't going to read this letter... n coz i really miss u but i cant say those words.. setiap kali saye batuk saye terigt mama.. kenape ek? saye terigt waktu mama excited bile juz 2 of us were going to buy some stuffs for me.. at first i didnt know how much that moment really meant to u.. till i saw u happily choosing stuffs for me.. u nvr stop smiling.. till u forget papa was waiting for us in the car.. when i recalled that moment.. my heart aches~ i cant stop my tears from flowing..
mama, i think i'm juz like u.. we cant nvr express our feeling by words.. but i understand.. ermm mayb juz a lil' of ur feeling.. by watching u everyday when i hav that chance.. kakla xtau nape but i feel i would do anything juz to make u smile in the end.. kadang2 ur children(i dont know how to address them *lol*) says that i'm ur n papa's golden daughter.. n do u know y they didnt mean it in bad way? sbb mama looks so innocent when u want to cherish me.. mama x pnah ckp mama sayang kakla n mama x pnah ckp mama rindu kakla tapi the feeling u give me is more than enuf.. dan kakla harap kakla dapat emit those feeling to u so that my feeling conveyed to u.. u feel that rite?
i'm bad with words but i'm good with comp so i'll write it in this blog.. kakla sayang sgt kat mama, kakla sentiasa doakan kesejahteraan mama di dunia n di akhirat n moge dgn kasih sayang yang kakla berikan ni cukup menceriakan hati dan meringankan beban di bahu mama.. i cant do much for u but this is wut i really wanna give u.. even thou u give me so much till today, i cant nvr repay back to u.. iA i'll make du'a to Allah SWT so that He will give u the greatest repayment iA..
wassalam*sob* *sob*

Spain~

Walking down a street..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

This evening i went to post office to post something..(mmg la.. xkan la g post office sbb nk makan ice cream..) on d way back i planned to shop at LIDL.. then outside LIDL.. i saw a dog..ermm quite big.. black and looked very frenly.. coz the dog didnt bark either move from the spot where it's standing.. tapi yg sedih nye.. anjing tu tgh sejuk.. the whole body menggeletar kesejukan sampaikan from far away u can see anjing tu menggeletar.. mase tu sedih sgt.. mmg la kalo kite pk.. x kan la the owner nk bwk masuk dlm LIDL kan.. the weather's very cold outside.. sampaikan almost every time i breathing.. asap kuar dr my nose.. uhuhuuhuhuh.. sdgkan anjing tu yg mmg x dek bulu.. ermm saye x sure la jenis ape anjing tu.. tp yg kaler itam n licin kulit dier.. x dek bulu tu.. when i finished buy wut i want.. saye pon kuar la.. n the dog was still there at that time.. bygkan.. ermm nak kate kejap jek saye masuk.. lame gak la n the queue was quite long at that time.. uhuhuuhuhuhuuu.. in my heart at that time.. pk fitrah Allah SWT jadikan anjing begitu setia pd tuannya.. pdhal tgk la camne tuan dier treat dier.. uhuhuuh tp pnah ke anjing tu komplain or merungut or x buat ape yg tuan dier suruh? it backfire to us rite? kite selalu jek merungut.. kekdg tu buat keje x ikhlas coz we dont get wut we want.. anjing tu nmpk cam bersyukur giler kat tuannye kan sampai dier sgt 'patuh' pd tuannye.. tp camne kite lak? cam tu ke kite nk tunjuk kite patuh? n we hav to remember xkan la kite nk rendahkan lagi level kite lagi teruk drpd anjing.. sesame la kite pk2 kan ekk..
nway i juz got back from andalusia, Spain.. n best sesgt!! i really recommend to those who havnt go there yet.. put it to ur top list k.. ehehheeeheee wokeh la jumpe lagi next tyme k.. wassalam mata nee~

Holiday!!

Assalamualaikum wrt..

2morrow.. i'm going to Spain.. 16 Dec till 20 Dec.. then to PMS 22 Dec till 26 Dec.. so there wont b any entry around that time.. ehehehhe.. well wanna wish u hav a good haliday k..

mayb some of u knew already.. ermm ahh nvrmind.. it's like this.. i knew a story.. (well u dont hav to know where i pick up that story..:D) it's about a girl and her strong personality.. the story began with her bestfriend became famous as a singer.. thus her friend(he) ermm lets call him Sho<-- almost the real name.. i forgot the real name actually.. so Sho became proud n dont wanna become fren wit her anymore.. plus he even insulted her a few times n did that in front of her n others as well.. so she swore that she will crushes him.. the only way is become more famous than him... i really like her personality.. coz she never give up.. really hard to give up.. a fast learner.. n always does things with her own way..(altho sometimes doesnt succeed)
she entered the world of celebrity but had a bad start.. one of the scene that really leaved big impression on me is when she had to try a scene with a top guy(guy yg pandai blakon n paling top ar kirenye) the scene needs her to 'bersimpuh' but at that time.. dier terseliuh kaki kat area ankle.. so it's impossible.. tp sepnjg dier blakon tu.. she nvr shows any expression yg tunjuk dier tgh sakit.. muke senyum jek(script kate kene senyum la..) n it was last for a very long time.. i mean almost an hour.. everyone surprised.. even the top guy.. but then to some point she sweating and looked really suffering.. so the producer had to stop the scene.. but she wont get up till the other person ade kat depan mate dier.. so that top guy pergi la dr situ... then she fainted.. wow.. at that moment.. i'm speechless.. pdhal mase tu.. dier bukn nye dijamin dpt blakon dlm scene tu.. it juz to prove something.. tp she was ok wit juz that..
another part.. she went to an audition wit her fren.. well it can b considered to b her close fren at that time.. under certain circumstances.. they(all the participants la..) had to blakon in a pair.. musuh ketat kwn dier tu kate not fair coz fortunately diorg dpt jd pair.. so kwn dier bg suggestion diorg akan terus blakon without preparation.. condition dier.. 2 org yg paired up tu adalah kwn baik.. both of them like a guy.. but si A went confess to that guy.. so si B ni sure la marah kat kwn dier tu altho kwn baik.. so diorg kene sediakan scene gaduh2.. org lain punye scene.. siap bertengkar hebat giler ar.. termasuk la musuh ketat kwn dier.. n musuh ketat dier sbenarnye actress yg hebat gak la.. guess wut camne diorg buat?! diorg diam berdiri.. then si B(kwn baik dier..) slapped her.. atas sbb si A(watak utama cite nie la..) g confessed tu.. so bile kene slap tu.. dier marah ar n nk slap si B gak.. tp B nangis.. A x jd marah but said sorry.. ermm org lain sure x terpk kan.. sbb diorg asal2nye best fren kan.. uhuhuhuuhuh.. kagum giler saye..
haaa... waaaaa wokeh la.. at first i juz wanna inform u bout Spain n PMS.. tp lebey2 lak.. ehehhe well c ya.. wassalam

Time is runnig out

Salam..

2day is another bad day.. i've thout bout this b4.. but really.. nvr got me this pathetic.. this is not some kind of trick to get some pity or attention.. but i know some day i will read all these entry back and realize where shld i put a stop or juz a comma..
i laid back for a second wit a thout in my mind..*wanna rest for a bit* so i went down to kitchen.. grabbed something to eat.. selongkar2 dapur sket.. went ere n there.. *still with THAT THOUT in my mind*.. then i went back to my desk.. then i looked at my watch.. wow!! guess wut? i'd been *resting* for about half an hour.. wow.. can u imagine.. i didnt even notice the time's slipping right under ur nose but wut u gain from dat? well mayb at the moment (mayb every that moment) u feel that half an hour is just *kacang jek*.. well if u use that half an hour smyg tahajud then make du'a.. that time is the most musjatab time ..
sat on the chair.. continuing wut i was doing earlier.. after an hour u cant put the data on ur head any more.. dizzy.. n my eyes seemed cant focus.. i did some stretching.. and start browsing youtube.. hmmm mayb some entertainment can 'cool down' my head.. browse~browse~.. found nothing but some already-watched videos.. so decided to do some reading.. glanced to the comp clock.. !?!?!.. i'd been browsing with nothing for a bout 45 minutes.. waaaa giler hape.. xkeje.. nk cool down.. tp membazir almost an hour? ahahahhahaa sometimes i ask myself.. wut m i doing? is this wut i want? *sigh*.. someone said to me.. if u keep sighing.. happiness will go away.. is it true? well it is true that sighing is not a good thing.. but i m not sure bout the happiness.. ahahaahhaa.. wut a crap.. the pic on the left.. i took it when we went to plattfield last spring.. so white~.. ehehehhee wokeh la.. uhuhuuh i took another half an hour to write this entry.. huhuhuhuhuuu i dont know any more bout wasting my time.. someone plz yell to me bout time management!!! wokeh la.. gonna stop ere.. i wish u do well in ur exam (thats coming SOON) huh*my heart is not ready yet~* mata ne~ wassalam.. :x uhibukunna fillah~

After a while~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

usually the distance btw my eyes n the screen is about a metre.. but now it's about half of that.. ermm it's freezing (well.. as always:D some ppl know y..) plus i'm hungry(normal for those who stay up late rite? u will hav a cup of drink n mayb biscuits bside u..) n my resdung came back.. then feeling out of order... y? ermm mayb it's time for once in a month... dunno coz it's quite crazy lately.. my winamp's playing the song dat i'm not really fond to.. y? coz i dont understand a bit.. wokeh STOPPPPP!! stop the nonsense..
these 2 days wit k asyif n k zai around r really fun.. really can feel the diff after they went back to usual weekday!! waaa.. next week i'm going to Spain.. n after that to PMS.. n this room will b occupied by Wani's parents.. so hav to do A BIT of cleaning..
huh!! WTH?? sound crazy rite? well i'm not in the normal state.. sometimes i treat blog as my diary.. well someone said to me.. y do u even bother to hide/b secretive bout ur diary coz u write so that others will read it rite? the same thing as suicide note.. u write so that ppl will know wut is the cause of ur death.. BUT if u really wanna die.. y do u even bother bout living ppl? will they b there for u after u die?? WTH?? ape saye ckp niee??? aaarggghhhhhh.... tensiii2.. astaghfirullah hal 'azim..
bile kite tensii or sedey ke or bengang.. sape yg popped up on ur mind that u'd really like that person to comfort u? hav u ever think bout it in calm state? wokeh2.. i REALLY2 need to stop.. kalo x.. byk merapu lagi.. wokeh la.. uhibukunna fillah
wassalam

Another fav song..

Ela Zawjaty (my wife) - Ahmed Bukhari

Salam.. i really like this song.. ere is the lyric.. ehehehhee

I Love U Just The Way U R ,, I Love U No Matter What U R ..

Whatever Happened ,, Whatever Will Happen It's U ,, U R My Sweet Heart ..

My Wife U R My Sweet Heart ..

U Belong To Me ,, So I Don't Fear Any Blamer Who Cares Only About Loathing Me ,, The Time Had Allow Us To Be Joined For Eternity ..

U Irrigated The Love In My Heart By Saying All The Right Things And Being All The Right Things ..

The Happiness Is Gone When Ur Gone ,, And The Life Is Clear When Ur Around ,, My Whole Day Is
Drudge Until The Moment I Come Back To Home ..

I Meet U And My Agony Will Be Washed Up When U Speak ..

I Just Hate Life When U Complain About It ,, So I Do My Best To Get U Whatever U Want ..

U R My Beatitude ,, So Please Enjoy The Warmth Of Love As Long As U Live .. Our Souls Have Been Joined Like Soil And Grass ..

Oh My Hope ,, And My Peace .. Oh My Joy ,, And My Soul .. Life Is Heaven No Matter How Difficult It Gets As Long As Ur Contented ..

wassalam..

Smbgn fron the previous post..

Salam..
:D nie smbgn dr cite psl kucin saye.. ermm sampai kat kucin2 tu lari dr saye kan.. ahahaha cube bygkan.. cam kucin liar lak.. then start from that day i chased after my cats.. everyday.. i wont give.. usually we feed them on the mornign n everning.. ahahah so dah saye ade kat umah tu.. i was the one who feed them EVERYDAY.. kalo x frenly ngan saye x tau la nk ckp ape.. mase tu ade sekor ibu ngan 2 anak dier n sekor adek betina.. (nk kate pompuan<-- utk org kan..) yg ibu tu sgt la x frenly.. xtau nape.. dier sanggup berlapar dr nk dtg dekat ngan saye.. lepas saye pergi jauh baru a dier pegi tmpt makan tu.. mane x tensii.. butout of that 4 cats i really like 2 of them.. yg adek betine tu.. ngana anak jantan dier.. yg ibu kucin tu sgt la liar.. tp sgt la gedik.. nape? dier suke sgt pegi jln2 kat umah org lain from the morning.. then came back at the everning.. the x lame lepas tu ade la 'jantan' lain yg dtg ikut dier.. huihhh tensii giler.. kalo dtg nk 'merisik' kucin2 betine kat situ.. kitorg x kesah.. well thats their nature rite.. tp masalahnye.. ermm igt x 2 ekor anak ibu kucin tu? bapak diorg adalah kucin siam.. so dpt la gene bulu lebat.. mmg lawa la.. yg dlm gmbr kat bwh tu.. yg kaler puteh tu.. comel kan.. kot2 nye kucin betine lain rase tu jenis ensem kot.. so ade la 2 3 ekor kucin BETINE 'dtg' nk merisik ugak.. huihh pdhal kucin jantan tu(yg bulu lebat tu..) xdek keje lain drpd makan tido kejar anak ayam katek then pegi kacau kucin lain.. xtau la bile dier g ngorat 'anak dare' org tu..
sooo bile ade kucin jantan ntah dtg dr mane.. n jugak kucin betine lain yg ntah dtg dr mane.. so umah kitorg jd tmpt berkumpulnye jaguh2 kucin n tmpt diorg menunjukkan taring n suare paling kuat.. huihh tensii giler.. bygkan hampir setiap mlm diorg bergaduh.. last2 ayah saye geram sgt.. (sbb ermm my dad, my mom n saye jenis yg kalo bising sket waktu mlm.. xleh tido.. adek2 saye yg lain n jugak my big bros bleh jek nyenyak..:D)last2 ayah saye g kasi le kucin2 tu kat org lain.. saye pon xtau kat mane.. time tu kucin2 tu still x frenly ngan org.. cube bygkan camne nk tangkap diorg tu.. huihh.. mmg rase cam kejar ayam lak.. ehehehheee ohh yg kasi kat org lain tu ibu kucin tu ngan anak dier yg sekor lagi.. bukn yg kaler puteh tu.. ermm saye dah lupe kaler ape.. sbb adek saye syg giler yg kaler puteh tu.. so tinggal la 2 ekor.. cam yg dlm gmbr in previous entry.. gmbr kat atas tu mase diorg dah frenly.. sbbnye saye la..ehehhehe akhirnye inilah hasil penat lelah ku.. frenly giler smpai kan mmg x leh nk buat keje la.. gmbr kat atas tu adalah mase saye tgh amik gmbr pokok bunge mak saye.. sbb tgh berbunge lawa giler..(one of hobbies saye adalah amik gmbr bunge yg tanam sendiri..:D) pastue kucin tu dr tmpt tido biase dier (ermm kat tepi pokok durian.. jauh gak la.. the other side of our house..n i was on the another side..:p) tp still bleh nmpk saye n dier pon berjln la ke arah saye.. comel kan.. pastue tgh saye amik gmbr,, saye nmpk dier berjln ke arah saye slow2 lalu kat tgh2 pokok2 yg my parents tanam.. cam scene dlm cite lak.. n watak utame nye adalah kucin tu.. :)) suke sgt gmbr tu.. waktu tu diorg mmg asyik dok merayap kat kaki jek.. adek saye bising sbb dier kate ayah kitorg x marah sbb saye yg buat kucin2 kitorg tu jd cam tu.. ahahhaahh ade gak gmbr2 yg kucin2 tu suke posing2.. ermm tau2 jek kot.. kucin yg kaler itam tu my best fren mase balik ari tu..best fren nye kitorg smpaikan dier suke tido atas katil saye.. (my parents x kasi kucin2 naik atas rumah..tmpt diorg adalah kat bwh..) tp kitorg suke bwk naik kucin senyap2.. :p jahat kan.. n sejak dier frenly ngan saye.. hampir setiap bulan tido atas katil saye.. n dier tau bile saye ade kat bilek.. n bile dier septtnye kuar(terutamenye bile my parents balik from somewhere..) huihh pnjg giler.. wokehla.. nk tido dah.. nite2 wassalam

One of my fav video..

When meow's calling my name..

Salam..
suddenly i wanna leave something on this page.. ehehhehee hek eleh.. xdek ar.. a few seconds a go.. dgr ade kucing mengeow.. ermm 2 weeks a go i saw a cute one running toward the house next door when i opned the back door.. ermmm b4 that saye dgr dier mengeow pastue nmpk dier dok berjln atas pagar bate blakang umah.. i mean ours la.. so saye igt mane tau kan dier jinak n tgh lapar lak tu.. tu yg dier dok merayau tu.. so i went down to the kitchen n opened the back door sesenyap yg mungkin.. ehehehhee but unfortunately it got scared n ran away.. waaaa but for a moment.. kucin tu xdek la besar sgt or xdek la kecik sgt.. sederhana jek.. kaler puteh or cream sket.. n mate dier sgt cantik.. cam biru hijau.. huihhh.. n sgt lincah.. uhuhuuhhu saye nk sgt pegang.. really miss my kucin2.. i dont know wut happen to my kucin back home.. uhuhuhu.. but ere is the pic of them.. comel kan? suke sgt.. mase saye balik summer lepas.. i arrived at home really late at nite.. i heard from my mom that we hav 6 cats.. but they said that 2 of them died(mati mase kecik.. sbb baru lahir n mak dier first time beranak..) so tinggal la 4 ekor.. a mother wit a lil' brother n 2 children.. ahahahhaa (pdhal 2 children dier tu same besar ngan adek mak kucin tu..) well cite nye pnjg apesal tinggal 2 jek.. tp saye nk cite gak.. mase saye memule sampai tu.. diorg nie (empat-empat ekor..) sgt la x frenly.. my mom said sbb nye ayah saye dah train diorg sejak kecik jgn frenly sgt ngan org.. ayah saye x suke kucin ngade2 dok merayap kat kaki.. so kalo nmpk diorg dok malas2 atas kerusi sure ayah saye halau.. ahahah tp yg sweet nye time makan.. diorg sure 'terliur' tgk kitorg makan..(lgpon kitorg suke makan kat bwh <--luar rumah) so diorg dok la satu tmpt ermm lebey kurg 3 meter dr kitorg.. ahahahha tp my dad org first kasi diorg makanan.. so lelame waktu makan jek diorg dtg rapat.. ahahhaatp mase saye balik tu diorg nmpk jek org.. sure lari nye.. mase tu cube bygkan ape saye rase.. sbb sbelum saye fly dulu.. kucin rapat giler ngan saye.. pastue balik2..(altho kucin lain dah.. yg lame dah mati dah..) tgk2 diorg lari dr saye..igt saye nie ape? makhluk asing..(mmg la bg diorg saye nie makhluk asing yg diorg x pnah nmpk sbelum ni..) :p eh dah lewat nie.. nk g masak la dulu.. nnt saye smbg ek cite saye.. mata ne.. wassalam..

My own wiken..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

yesterday waa... tanoshkatta!! arigatou ghazaimashta'.. altho it was diff as planned but really.. tanoshkatta'.. jitsu-a.. a few days a go.. i juz realized something.. hmm well it is kinda make me down n hurt at the same time.. but nothing to worry bout.. coz it's the truth anyway.. i cant do anything bout it n there's no way i can force it to go my way.. rite? but sometimes i kinda regret it.. cotto ne~ yea juz like i said in my previous entry b4.. we cant expect ppl are juz like us.. know wut we r thinking n know wut we want..
kekdg korg ade rase x perasaan.. bile korg pusing kiri kanan(not literally) u juz realize that nothing.. iA Allah SWT always on our side..~as long as we are one His side~ true isnt it? huh.. sadis btol la.. hmm oklaa mesti ade yg dah fenin2.. korg perasan kan saye jrg crite psl my prob or wut happen to me.. jrg tulis psl mende2 sedey berlaku kt saye.. ermm actually i dont want any pity or any feeling related to that.. thats why ppl around me thought i kinda dont hav big probs.. well it's ok wit me if u wanna think of me like that.. tp kekdg mende tu timbulkan mende lain lak.. when ppl think of u like that.. they will treat u like 'nothing'.. huh.. x pe la..
nk tulih something dlm blog nie sbb ade mende jd tp mengarut lak jadinye.. ahahahaha leks..leks.. nway.......hah.. i juz remember something.. last nite i dreamt bout something dat really shocking.. i nvr thout that i will dreamt bout tht.. ahahaha well mystery hidup.. wokeh la.. c ya around.. mata ne.. bye wassalam..:X