i really really going to write a pessimis entry. so dont sneer or dont critic me for being a -ve person. one day i know i'm gonna end up being a lonely person. not because i want to. but i still havnt found anyone who is truely care about me. i'm sorry if the ppl around me is actually really care about me. but this is what i feel. i dont want to b a hypocrite person, i dont want to lie and i know that i'm not a fun person to b with. but i really feel thankful toward ppl around me. what they've done, are not at the same level as words 'thank you'.
2 depressing things happened to me 2day. make me think that i'm a nobody. maybe in a wrong place, i dont know. the first one is, someone put my name and my blog (this blog) in an entry and bullshit me. T_T i've never 'kutuk' any of my frens. even the worst thing, i just say i disapointed in them. i've never talk -ve thing bout them. at last, i will say i wont care about them.
i know i'm not a good person, not a good fren. thats y i treat ppl better than myself. then, what did i get from them? T_T when i read about her entry, i bite my lips all day today so that i will not cry. try it! it works. haha sorry! blame it to my messed-up head.
i'm not good at poker game. i cant act as nothing in front of someone who i feel really hurt because of that person. my eyes will run away from his/her face. my mouth wont open. my smile will feel bitter. my tears is free at such time. i'll bite my lips.
this life is not a game. this life is harder than a game. and it doesnt have level. but most of all, we only have one life. i dont want to b serious but i dont want to take it easy.
the second thing is, i feel like i'm being played. my salary was reduced. rm200 deducted from the original amount for 3 months. but my boss said to me that my salary will be as usual. he said it last month. last month i still got the deducted amount and also this month. i thought i heard it wrong, n thought that it will as usual this month. but i still got the less salary. i feel depressed. my parents said it's time to change my tires (my car's) and that would b around rm130+ and there's something wrong with brakes, so i decided i have to change the brake tube. and that would b around rm120. then, the battery prob. arghhhhhh~!
*i bite my lips again*
come on~! life could be harder than this. if i cant get through this, i wont become stronger.
so, whats a prob to someone, is not a prob to others. and whats prob to others is not a prob to someone else.
4 comments:
some ppl just stab others in the back...
but, in some rare cases, they might not actually mean to be so cruel.
i donno which one applies. but u've been through so much i know u'll get through this one.
take care now. i mean it.
we can never live without problem. maybe you should go speak out yourself to your boss. and not just complaining in your blog here. we need to tell people what we want sometimes. if that is our rights. i bet it is yours. and it is only YOU can settle things out. you and your boss need to have 1 to 1 discussion.
nur u maybe not realize that your friends hurt you just because you hurt them first. you said you are sorry and you dont want to b a hypocrite person. but you also said you cannot forgive them. that if you do, you are a hypocrite person.? you are hypocrite to your God, nur. ever since we were born, we had made promise to God, that we are going to be a good muslim. but what is a good muslim to you if you cant forgive people? are you that good to live by your own?
people do care about you maybe you do not realize it. if that someome say something about you maybe it is because he/she wants to tell that that is your weaknesses. by writing in your blog here you are talking negative about them too. do you realize that?
i feel sorry for you nur, but you have to feel sorry for yourself first. again, dont just bite your lips and do nothing.
cheerio
aih pegi la confront dgn syaa tuh. kan senang. abis cite. minah tu xleh diharap sgt.
hidup memang pedih kalau kita tak ambik semuanya sebagai cabaran.. aku sendiri pernah sakit dengan macam2 dugaan.. jangan takut untuk menyatakan hak kita.. kalau kita tak kuat untuk mengambil hak kita sendiri.. macam mana nak bersaing merebut sesuatu yang hanya mungkin bakal menjadi hak kita..
ni semua kata2 untuk semua termasuk diri aku jugaa
oi sound check la syaa tue.. gaji is our HAK.. aku sendiri sedang perjuangkan hak aku.. jangan takut.. ALLAH akan bantu selagi kita benar!!
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