One of my hard-work result was out yesterday.. this you can say that determine my study here.. till now i can't find the courage to open it.. it is just a click away.. waaaaaaaaaaa do you ever feel like that? whenever i think about it, my whole body starts aching.. i feel the pain like i think my fingernails are being pulled out.. i cant even feel what's in my mouth.. i dont even know what my expression is.. feel like my heartbeats are beating uncontrollable..
i want to know.. i dont want to know.. really, ignorance is a bliss.. i want to know.. i dont want to know.. i have to know.. i need to know but i'm scared.. i know that it's all been written.. and the ink is already dried up.. but.. i dont know anymore.. huhu Yana said that there's nothing that we can do.. the result is already out and all we have to do is look and believe it.. waaaaaaaaaa i dont know anymore.. waaaaaaaaaaa =((
what should i do? should i just open it? or should i just wait till my emaan is at the peak? yeah.. i'm such a weak person.. i even dont have the courage to see what's in front of me.. huhuhuuu
Ya Allah Ya Rabbal 'alamin.. please give me courage..
sometimes, i feel like i want to run away from reality.. but that's weak.. i want to become strong.. if i look back my life so far.. u can say that i got whatever i want.. my education is not so bad so far.. but now, i think this time i have to face His test in education.. waaaaaaaaa what should i do? yeah.. i think i've been living in a box.. afraid to face what's outside.. huhuu.. i guess i'll open the result after i pray dhuhr.. huhu
wslm
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