nandaa~ tadaa no mind set..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

ppl always telling me that how dangerous or how important mind set is.. but only thats it.. its juz like shaking hand pass by like that.. no intro.. no influence whatsoever.. i've been following my parents' way of study.. (ermm noo.. more to way of life.. everyday life) wake up at 6.. subuh.. take a shower.. breakfast.. go to school.. come back.. watch news.. finish hw/read paper.. till asar.. after asar.. no study.. no book.. time for exercise.. then take shower.. maghrib.. recite Quran.. isya'.. then study till 11pm.. then go to sleep.. it's juz like we hav been programmed.. huhu

one thing i still do till ere n now.. is no study.. no book after asar till maghrib.. it's like forbidden time.. if u do that.. it will somehow damages ur brain..<-- well juz like i said b4.. it's juz mindset.. mayb someone 'yg lebih arif' can explain to us scientifically.. i desperately study yesterday n i didnt notice the time.. when i looked at the clock.. it's almost 730 pm.. can u imagine how i feel at that time? its like... oo-o0.. i'm doomed.. but when i looked back.. i can absorbed more at that time.. i'm not saying that we should study after asar coz that time is the most effective time for us to study.. but wut the most i can say.. it's juz my mindset.. mayb when it's almost asar i desperately was trying to finish the chapter that i'm supposed to..
ermm bygkan if i study like that... i can finish the syllabus by now.. (haha dream on..=P)

hahahahaa... another celoteh yg xdek paedah nye pd org laen.. mahap lee.. i'm such a lonely maiden.. hehehheee okeh la.. ermm kalo ade sesape nk 'complain' psl x leh study after asar.. u're welcome to.. teehee..
wslm wrt..

hibernasi

assalamualaikum wrt...

status: sdg bercamping dlm bilek.. only urgent matters akan dilayan..

mode: sakit kepale + jiwe tgh sayu + xdek perasaan nk smbg study...

hukhuk.. i received a msg from a fren.. i really love her.. really2 like her.. n more than respect her.. but when she did something that i didnt expect that 'she' would do that.. i'm really shocked.. i gathered all the things i know bout frenship.. all those thing keep replaying in my mind.. as i keep reminding myself that every ppl r diff.. dont expect others will understand as u do.. n vice versa.. as i calmed down a bit.. i gave it a thought.. again.. (mayb u would say.. ermm depends on wut kind of thing that she did) well ermm it's just like when a housewife is supposed to go to the market to buy meat.. but she ends up bought a dress for herself.. huhu (ermm sesuai ke analogy hehe) that time is not the first time n i keep praying that it would b the last time.. tp kalo keep praying jek without lift a finger.. patut ke? wut m i suppose to do? who m i to remind n correct others while i'm still dragging my own 'sampah'? wut m i suppose to do when they themselves dont want the others found out bout their sampah?

ahhh... nape saye yg mmg tgh depress ni tulih something yg depressing? huhu.. ade sesape nk g plattfield? mesti ade byk bunge.. tp dugaan pon byk.. huhu ade gak dok pk2 nk g study kat plattfield tp takut yg kluar lebih byk dr yg masuk hehe..
wokehs la.. study..study.. exam lagi sebulan.. lets pray that wuts good for us will b upon us k..
wslm wrt..

my pace..

salam..


musim mengong-mengong udah tibe..

bile saye bengang sbb x phm ngan ilmu sihir ----> saye buat...

bile saye tension sbb ade 'someone' bg msg yg selfish -----> saye buat...

bile saye rase futur sbb dah lame jiwe nie kering ----> saye buat...

bile saye rase saye x disayangi sbb saye x 'kontek' org n org x 'kontek' saye ----> saye buat...

bile someone kate saye nie nyebok n need to mind my own business ----> saye buat..

bile someone kate saye mmg baik n amik kesempatan atas 'baek' nye saye tu ----> saye buat...

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i wonder bile saye buat...... org x judge kite knp kite buat... tp org akan judge kite siape kite utk buat...
( i may sound like i'm just justified myself.. tp ntah knp saye kekdg rase saye rase nak panjat pokok pink depan lidl tu.. n dudk tgk org lalu lalang sambil makan faluda~ gile kan? so dont judge ppl by wut she does or did... xdek manusia maksum kecuali Rasulullah SAW.. n sbb tu kite ade dose pahale kan? =P)

----- notakaki: ade satu entry tu.. saye tulih psl sedih nye sorg bdk tu sbb rase dirinye x dek nilai.. tu rekaan semate2.. bile saye rase sedih or marah or bengang (ape2 la perasaan yg -ve) saye tend to write something like cerpen.. hahahhahah skrg nie saye tgh sedih gak la lepas tg video yg org forward kat youtube..

wslm wrt

"thats my goal"

You know where I've come from,
You know my story,
You know why I'm standing here...
Tonight,
Please don't go,
Don't be in a hurry,
I'm here to make it clear,
Make it right,

Well I know I've acted foolish,
But I promise you no more,
I've finally found that something
Worth reaching for,

I'm not here to say I'm sorry,
I'm not here to lie to you,
I'm here to say I'm ready,
That I've finally thought it through,
I'm not here to let you're love go,
I'm not giving up oh no,
I'm here to win your heart and soul,
That's my goal.

Please don't go,
You know that I need you,
And can't breath without you,
Live without you,
Be without you,
Well I know I've acted foolish,
But i promise you no more,

I'm not here to say I'm sorry,
I'm not here to lie to you,
I'm here to say I'm ready,
That I've finally thought it through,
I'm not here to let you're love go,
I'm not giving up oh no,
I'm here to win your heart and soul,
That's my goal.

Well i won't stop believing,
That we will be leaving together,
So when I say i love you,
I mean it forever and ever,
ever and ever....

I'm not here to say I'm sorry,
I'm not here to say I'm sorry,
I'm not here to lie to you,
I'm here to say I'm ready,
That I've finally thought it through,
I'm not here to let you're love go,
I'm not giving up oh no,
I'm here to win your heart and soul,
Yes I'm here to win your heart and soul,
Thats my goal....

Sepi

Jarum jam menunjukkan hari sudah larut malam. Aku masih termanggu-manggu di depan komputer ribaku. Malas menyelubungi hati dan fikiranku. Memikirkan peperiksaan besar akan berlangsung kurang daripada sebulan dari sekarang, aku mula memikirkan kenapa aku lakukan semua ini. Oh! Kerana aku inginkan hidup yang senang di hari kemudian, kerana aku inginkan hidup yang dapat diterima oleh masyakarat sekarang. Iaitu individu yang berpelajaran, disebabkan itulah aku mesti belajar bersungguh-sungguh. Inikah hidup yang aku inginkan? Selepas berparti dengan kawan-kawan sampai hampir larut malam, aku pulang membawa diri seorang diri. Kembali ke bilik tertutup ini, mengenang kembali selama 22 tahun 5 bulan aku bernafas atas bumi Allah SWT ini.
Hana dapat keputusan yang cemerlang di dalam peperiksaannya yang lepas. Selama ini aku menganggap Hanalah orang yang paling kurapat. Orang yang sentiasa berada di sampingku di kala aku ditimpa masalah, di kala aku dalam kesedihan. Aku sentiasa bahagia andai dia menyapaku di Yahoo Messenger. Dapat kurasakan kemesraannya padaku, hatiku riang mengenangkan dia sedang memikirkan perihal daku. Aku tak kesah andainya aku tidak dipedulikan oleh orang lain. Aku tak peduli andainya aku keseorangan di bilik kecil ini kerna aku masih di hati Hana dan Hana akan setiasa di hatiku.
"xxxxxx, Hana dapat first class dalam exam yang lepas. Gembiranya hati.." suatu hari Hana menelefonku menceritakan berita yang kuanggap penting. 'Wah, sudah pasti aku orang pertama yang ingin dikongsi. Gembiranya. Bangganya kerna besarnya nilai diri ini bagi Hana,' bisik hatiku. Benar. Aku tidak punya manusia lain bergembira dan bersedih bersama-sama.
"Apa la, saya dah tahu lama dah. Hana dah bagitahu saya 2 hari lepas," kata salah seorang kawan kami. Aku terkedu seketika. Telingaku bagaikan terdengar deringan loceng yang amat bingit dan panjang. Kepalaku berdenyut-denyut tanpa henti. Aku buntu. Siapa aku sebenarnya di mata Hana? Siapa aku sebenarnya di hati Hana? Adakah selama ini hanya aku yang menganggap bahawa Hana adalah kawan baikku sedangkan dia tidak berfikiran begitu? Aku bukanlah manusia pertama yang ingin dikongsi berita yang kukira begitu penting dalam hidupnya.
Tiga hari aku memikirkan hal itu, dan akhirnya malam yang sepi ini aku menitiskan air mata. Adakah aku punya nilai tika ini? Andainya aku tiada, adakah dunia sekarang masih seperti sekarang? Denyutan tanpa henti di kepalaku menderaskan lagi linangan air mata di pipiku. Ya, aku masih keseorangan. Lihatlah di sekelilingmu, tiada siapa yang mempedulikanmu. Dan begitulah malam ini berlalu..

'Ku berlari' - versi basikal

i'm back~

assalamualaikum wrt..

setelah merantau selame hampir 10 hari.. saye pulang~ hehehheee tp alhamdulillah teramat best sepnjg hampir 10 hari tu.. x terase betape pnjg nye 10 hari tu.. hrpnye Allah SWT memberkati perjalanan saye itu.. =D

thru those 10 days i got a lot more than when i juz sat down in front of my comp in my room.. wow! hehe well of course.. coz i met a lot of ppl who i nvr see b4 but juz heard from others.. we cant explain or describe those experiences by words.. when i look back to wut i hav done.. i cant say anything.. nor i can b proud of those time.. why? am i sooo that useless? huhu sure korg susah nk paham kan ape yg saye cp sbb syae cp x teratur.. hahah x pe.. it's juz another curhat yg xdek hujung pangkal nye..=P

well i juz wanna say that my another 10 days juz over n i'll nvr regret doing it n if the chances come my way again.. iA i'll grab it no matter wut.. hehe got to go.. lapar la plak.. hehe nk g selongkar ade ape kat dapur.. (cant let a pregnant woman do all the chores rite? hehe <-- msg to someone..=P) wallahua'lam
wassalam wrt..

tak tersampai oleh kata~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

Malam td penat berdiskus psl project.. tidur x aman sbb rase bersalah n bgn tak berstrategi.. huhu (apekah bahase camni.. huhu serius..serius..) ermm saye bgn pg td lepas solat n kemas2 katil jap.. pastue ngok ngek kat bilek buat itu ini.. baru duduk kat depan comp mengadap screen yg saye dah kurgkan kecerahannye sbb selalu sgt dok ngadap huhu..
mende pertame adelah check email.. dpt satu email yg saye rase pelik n confusing (ni pendpt saye ek.. igt usul 20 huhu pendpt manusie yg x maksum bulih ditolak..=P) dgn niat di hati agar dpt memahami nape buat cam tu.. saye pon msg manusie berkenaan.. (ermm sampai point ni saye rase org yg berkenaan dah tau kot saye tulih psl dier huhu..) dlm msg tu mayb tercetus or penggunaan perkataan saye yg brape btol.. our conversation diverted from ape yg saye niatkan.. (nk ckp sori..ermm) saye ade kwn dulu.. biase la berkwn mesti ade perselisihan.. dier pernah ckp kdg2 kalo kite rase kite x salah.. praktikal nye jgn biase ckp sori sbb kekdg 'too nice can hurt u' nor i'm here to justify my action..

kalo terguris.. ampuni daku n hrp nye di mase depn kite akan jd lebih rapat.. ( i dont know if we really can apply yg dlm persahabatan kalo ade perselisihan kite akan jd lebih rapat? saye x nmpk pon.. huhu) nor i'm here utk mtk simpati.. sedey huhu.. i dont know wut to say.. saye dilahirkan dlm family yg x biase ckp sori n time kaseh.. we say it by actions.. tertibe terigt lagu 'lafaz yg tersimpan'.. altho lagu tu utk parents tp saye rase kekdg sesuai jek pd kwn.. kalo dah rapat sgt.. sampai sori n mekaseh susah kite nk ckp.. sbb rase cam ape yg dier buat x padan kite nk luahkan cam tu.. well i dont know bout others but that's how i feel.. that's y iA i'll do my best for my fwens.. in all fields.. oklaaa another sesi curhat.. (ade someone bgtau saye dlm persahabatan kite ni.. kene byk ade curhat baru that's the real thing bout frenship..) we cant expect others to understand us without telling them rite? so thats the real purpose of curhat.. hehe oklaa got to go.. nk mandi wassalam wrt

renungilah dirimu~

assalamualaikum wrt..

sedikit peringatan utk kite.. 'marilah kite duduk dan beriman sejenak' - Mu'az bin Jabal

"Adakah kamu menyangka, bahawa kamu akan dibiarkan (dalam keadaan kamu yang ada itu), padahal belum lagi terbukti kepada Allah (sebagaimana yang diketahuiNya) orang-orang yang berjihad di antara kamu dan yang tidak mengambil teman-teman rapat (untuk mencurahkan rahsia kepada mereka), selain daripada Allah dan RasulNya serta orang-orang yang beriman? Dan (ingatlah) Allah Maha Mengetahui secara mendalam akan apa yang kamu kerjakan." (at-Taubah:16)

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Mengapa kamu, apabila dikatakan kepada kamu: Pergilah beramai-ramai untuk berperang pada jalan Allah, kamu merasa keberatan (dan suka tinggal menikmati kesenangan) di tempat (masing-masing)? Adakah kamu lebih suka dengan kehidupan dunia daripada akhirat? (Kesukaan kamu itu salah) kerana kesenangan hidup di dunia ini hanya sedikit jua berbanding dengan (kesenangan hidup) di akhirat kelak." (at-Taubah:38)

"Jika kamu tidak pergi beramai-ramai (untuk berperang pada jalan Allah membela agamaNya), Allah akan menyeksa kamu dengan azab seksa yang tidak terperi sakitnya dan Dia akan menggantikan kamu dengan kaum yang lain dan kamu tidak akan dapat mendatangkan bahaya sedikitpun kepadaNya dan (ingatlah) Allah Maha Kuasa atas tiap-tiap sesuatu." (at-Taubah:39)

"Kalau kamu tidak menolongnya (Nabi Muhammad) maka sesungguhnya Allah telahpun menolongnya, iaitu ketika kaum kafir (di Mekah) mengeluarkannya (dari negerinya Mekah) sedang dia salah seorang dari dua (sahabat) semasa mereka berlindung di dalam gua, ketika dia berkata kepada sahabatnya: Janganlah engkau berdukacita, sesungguhnya Allah bersama kita. Maka Allah menurunkan semangat tenang tenteram kepada (Nabi Muhammad) dan menguatkannya dengan bantuan tentera (malaikat) yang kamu tidak melihatnya dan Allah menjadikan seruan (syirik) orang-orang kafir terkebawah (kalah dengan sehina-hinanya) dan Kalimah Allah (Islam) ialah yang tertinggi (selama-lamanya), kerana Allah Maha Kuasa, lagi Maha Bijaksana." (at-Taubah:40)

buat peringatan utk kite semua.. saye betul2 terpukul dgn ayat2 ni.. seminggu lepas saye hampir masuk zon futur.. wallahua'lam saye x pernah terlintas nk bace n renung balik ayat2 ni.. terutame nye ayat2 surah at-Taubah tu.. as a person kite ni x mendtgkan faedah pon pd Pencipta kite.. pembawa2 panji Allah ada dimana2 n Allah berkuasa menaikkan Islam kembali.. betapa murah hatinye Allah SWT.. semua kite buat utk menaikkan Islam adalah semate2 kerana Allah SWT nk beri kite pahala.. n bile2 mase shj Allah SWT bulih gantikan kite dgn org lain.. betapa hina n rugi nye kite jika kite tidak mengangkat wpon sebtg jari kite utk menaikkan agama Allah ini..

bila saye mengingati mati.. saye rase amat keciwa ngan diri saye sendiri.. dgn apekah saye akan persembahkan pada Yang Maha Esa nnt? solat2 saye yg spt kain buruk tu? kerja2 rumah saye yg saye niatkan demi dunie? masa2 yg saye habeskan pergi majlis2 ilmu wpon pd mase yg same saye melakukan maksiat? kite x kan sekali-kali akan diampunkan n masuk ke syurge tanpe 'kemurahan hati' drpd Allah SWT..

*suke sgt inayah nye entry ni

wassalam wrt

kau, kawan, sahabat & teman

Ketika mula bertemu
Terasa bagai telah lama bersua
Kau sambut hulur tanganku
Bertegur sapa penuh mesra

Masa terus berlalu
Dan kita tetap seiringan berjalan
Menempuh onak liku
Lalui semua suka dan duka bersama

Biarlah apapun rahsia
Dan kelemahanmu tetap engkau temanku

Riangnya saat kita ketawa
Asyik senda dan bercerita
Walau sesekali pandangan kita berbeza
Andainya tetap serupa

Adakalanya kita juga saling terluka
Namun di akhirnya kita tetap bersama

Dan kini dipisahkan dua benua
Saling mengejar cita
Tak pernah kulupakan
Detik yang indah bersamamu temanku

Huuuu....aaaaa.....

(ulang dari mula)

Kuasti suatu masa
Engkau dan aku kan bertemu semula
Kembali menjalinkan detik nan indah
Untuk kenangan bersama

i give up

assalamualaikum wrt..

sori la sejak kebelakangan ni.. asyik dgr saye merungut jek huhu.. saye mmg x berniat nk meminte simpati sesape tp inilah saye.. mulut saye terkunci rapat.. lidah saye kelu berkate.. bile berdepan hanye kate2 manis n gembire shj.. huhu poetic giler cehh.. kite kdg2 suke kalo kate2 or kelakuan kite dpt menyentuh hati org lain.. kenape ye? sbb kite akan jd bangge kalo org berubah sbb kite? sbb kite btol2 ikhlas berkate sedemikian?
dlm seminggu nie terus terang saye katekan (x kesah la ade brothers yg bace sbb mmg dah reality..huhu) saye dlm keadaan bad mood sbb pms.. well i suppressed most of it n the rest is out of my control.. huhu n saye sedar lepas tu.. saye terus mtk maaf.. saye rase org sekeliling saye akan perasaan (kalo x perasan tu.. saye syok sendiri la kot..:(..) sbelum ni saye jrg dlm bad mood.. n sampaikan ramai yg kate kat saye.. yg saye ni x dek masalah.. saye nak jek jerit satu UK ni.. yg saye mmg ade masalah.. so dlm minggu yg bad mood yg jrg giler berlaku kat saye.. ade la a few yg terase ngan saye.. huhu saye dah penat dah.. plz ar give me space.. saye perlukan tmpt marah.. saye perlukan tmpt mengadu.. saye perlukan tmpt bersedih.. for all u know (ni bukn nk berbangge diri ke hape..) saye dah lame x nangis.. nape? sbb saye xdek masalah ke? x.. sbb saye terpakse letak jauh2 perasan sedey.. perasaan marah n perasaan sakit hati n kecik hati.. saye xnak org sedey2 n marah2 sbb saye.. tu mmg jujur dlm hati saye.. tp apekan daye.. saye hanye manusie biase.. saye ade dose.. saye x sempurna.. (huhu curhat habes ni.. asal2 nye x nk buat curhat sbb x suke buat curhat.. tp wallahua'lam..)
iA setiap kite akan ditimpe dugaan.. setiap dari kite diminta bersabar atas setiap dugaan.. saye mmg tgh bersabar.. dan as i said b4 saye ni manusie.. tahap kesabaran manusia berbeza2... saye xtau tahap kesabaran saye.. wallahua'lam.. hanye Allah SWT saje yg tahu.. tp kite hidup as muslims.. jgn la hidup menyusahkan org lain.. mmg bukn niat kite nk menyusahkan org lain.. jgn anggap dunie ni evolve around u only.. bukak mate luas2 n u'll see wut u're supposed to see..
kalo xnk amik ape yg saye kate kan ni.. it's up to u.. saye x leh pakse.. but u've heard from me.. hear from ur heart.. n u decide then.. which part of us are supposed to change.. so jom la sesame kite muhasabah diri n berubah la pd yg lebih baik.. huhu wallahua'lam..
jzkk n wassalam (segala caci-maki atau kaki-hamun.. bulih la disalurkan secare private or public.. i'll try to accept them..:D)

mati

Assalamualaikum wrt..

huhu dah lame x update.. ermm juz like i told u b4.. i'll decrease my time on blog.. huhu (tp hrp2 nye x membazir mase ke arah mende lain plak.. hehe

within one week.. parent pd 2 org kwn saye pergi menemuiNya.. semoge mereka ditempatkan di kalangan org yg soleh.. amen.. bile ade berite mcm tu barulah kite nk igt mati kan? astaghfirullah hal 'azim.. ada hadith yg menyebut (iA sahih..) ada seorang sahabt bertanya siapakah orang yang paling bijak, maka Rasulullah SAW menjwb orang yang paling bijak adalah orang yang mengingati mati.. so iA kite sesame amalkan..
saye ade pernah dgr someone ckp.. (n igt tau.. pendpt sesorg bulih ditolak atau bulih diterime kecuali org yg maksum iaitu our idol.. Rasulullah SAW..) org tu ckp.. bile 'tugas' kite atas dunie ni dah abes kite akan dimatikan-Nya.. well it's depends on us la kan either we want to do it or not.. whether we will do it or not.. saye ade pegi dgr satu ceramah ni.. dier kate kalu kite ni tiada gune nye pd 'dunie' bermakne kite ni adalah lebihan dunie.. huhu dunie.. dunie.. ape tu dunie?
dunie tu adalah alam yg kite hidup skrg ni.. makhluk Allah yg dah tue n kite ade 2 tugas besar atas dunie ni.. huhu (51:56) n (2:30) bukn saye nk kate org yg dah meninggal tu dah cukup tugas 2 tu.. x.. tu tugas besar sume org.. tugas yg saye mksd kan kat atas adalah tugas individu as in peranan kite ke atas perjalanan dunie yg Allah SWt dah aturkan.. huhu (tertibe saye rase saye nk tulih psl qadar.. yg org dok selalu pening.. hahahaa.. lain kali ar.. )
wokeh la.. ade org ajak borak kat ym la plak.. huhu

wsslm wrt..

i miss those days~

Assalamualaikum wrt...

saye saje je kurgkan tulih/update blog.. sbb saye berazam nk kurgkan mase saye n org lain kat blog.. huhu salah ke bace blog.. ermm bile kite mengabaikan ape yg kite sepatutnye buat mase tu.. but instead of that kite bace blog.. tu kire salah ar.. termasuk la buat mende lain.. (terase giler.. huhu)
saye x ade ramai kwn.. (cehh intro2 jek daa sedey dah..) saye x igt langsung muke kwn2 saye mase sekolah rendah.. name pon x igt.. muke kwn2 sekolah menengah form 1-3.. kalo x dek gambar saye mmg x igt.. n yg rapat2 mase sekolah tu.. saye igt la name diorg.. tp tu pon 2 3 org.. n saye x contact langsung ngan diorg skrg ni.. kalo org lain tu altho sekelas 3 thn.. saye skrg dah x igt muke n name diorg.. huhu.. saye naik form 4.. n form 5.. kalo diorg x g oversea..(kerek giler..) saye x igt la muke diorg.. xdek ar.. bukn nk kate saye igt muke n name diorg sbb diorg g oversea.. tp sbb kekdg saye bulih jumpe diorg kalo ade gathering kat oversea ke hape ke.. lepas spm.. saye g utm.. ermm lagi la.. x igt name n x igt muke sbb kejap jek.. pdhal.. everyday i spent my time with them.. same course same hall of residence.. lepas tu g kmb.. ermm x-classmates saye skrg pon dah x terkontek.. kalo muncul kat ym list..(yg btol2 online la..) kekdg tu tego la gak.. kalo x.. biar cam tu jek la.. JAHAT kan saye ni.. huhu sure lepas ni ramai x nk kwn ngan saye.. nape saye cam tu ek? nk maintain relationship kite ngan org sekeliling kite ni bukn sng.. org yg bunuh diri tu sure x dek kwn.. hukhuk..
so kengkwn saye skrg ni.. saye sgt syg.. fillah.. sng jek saye ckp ukhuwah fillah.. ukhuwah fillah.. mulut sedap la.. hati ngan badan ikut sekali ke? hukhuk.. memule saye pk nk tulih entry kali ni.. saye nk curhat sbenarnye.. n sesape yg bace entry ni.. ngan khusyuk nye adalah org yg btol2 nk tau psl saye.. sbb saye x nk letak dah address blog saye kat ym.. hukhuk.. xnk jadik GK dah.. curhat tu ape? curhat tu singkatan utk curahan hati.. sbb td bile saye pk2 balik.. i dont hav bestfren.. i dont hav anyone to call bile saye bosan.. bile saye tension.. when i need a break from my surrounding.. bile syae nk buat curhat.. hukhuk.. emo nye saye mlm ni.. ermm ape pendpt pembace? (ade ke ptt.. saye tnye pembace lak..) x pe2.. huhu.. ( a few pats/usapan on my back..) ya Allah tabahkanlah hati hambaMu ini dlm menempuh perjalanan hidup ini.. dan berkatilah jalan ini.. huhu jzkk kerana sudi mendgr.. (erkk membace)
wassalam wrt..

Download link!

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i didnt notice b4 but the download links were dead.. thnx coz informed me~ hehe so now the links are fixed and ready to use.. haha

this flower is actually tulip.. tp dier jd kembang giler kan.. haha i took the flower from plattfield when it perfectly blossomed.. then i put it in a jar wit water in it.. then after a day dier jd kembang cam tu.. well i really like the pic.. coz it's really white..

wassalam

Lafaz yang tersimpan

assalamualaikum wrt...

someone dedicated a song to me~ it's a very nice song..(n a new one) i browsed around n found the lyric.. hope u njoy the lyric..

Luluh hatiku yang sayu
Menatap wajahmu tenang dalam lena
Kasih zahirkan laku
Sedangkan bibirku jauh dari lafaznya

Dan raut tuamu membekas jiwaku
Meredakan rindu mendamaikan kalbu
Tak mungkin kutemu iras sentuhanmu
Biarpun kuredah seluruh dunia
Mencari gantimu

Betapa sukarnya menyusun bicara
Meluahkan rasa menuturkan sayang
Kasih yang terlimpah hanya sekadar
tingkah
Cuma ungkapan kebisuan yang
melindungkan kalimah rahsia

Masih kubiarkan waktu
Melarikan lafaz kasihku padamu

Mengapakah sukar menyusun bicara
Meluahkan rasa menuturkan sayang
Kasih yang terlimpah hanyalah sekadar
tingkah
Cumalah ungkapan bisu kalimah rahsia

Apakah yang hilang andai dilisankan
Bait penghargaan penuh kejujuran
Tak mungkin terlihat cinta yang merona
Jika hanya renungan mata yang bersuara
Bukan tutur kata

Tiada lagi ertinya pengucapan
Andai akhir nafas di hujung helaan
Sebelum mata rapat terpejam
Usah biar kehilangan
Menggantikan lafaz yang tersimpan

Spring has come~

In the mind of an athies

Assalamualaikum wrt..

Stephen William Hawking doesnt believe in God, but he is said as the most intelligent person alive..

“God not only plays dice. He also sometimes throws the dice where they cannot be seen.”

Ni lah keje org yg x percaye akan kewujudan tuhan. This is the proof if we learn without roh.. they dont hav objective in life.. mayb u can say their objective is to hav a great life.. but wut's the great life? u live a happy life n u get wut u want.. that's how we're living rite now.. with God watching us.. huhu

“... if there were a complete set of laws, that would infringe God's freedom to change his mind and intervene in the world. It's a bit like the old paradox: Can God make a stone so heavy that he can't lift it? But the idea that God might want to change his mind is an example of the fallacy, pointed out by St. Augustine, of imagining God as a being existing in time: time is a property only of the universe that God created. Presumably, he knew what he intended when he set it up!”

If u describe the God's characteristics as human's.. then that's not God.. God has all the good thing u can imagine and also all the good things that u cant.. u cant think logically all the time rite?
Someone said to me.. i forgot who she is(credit to her.. n to whom/where she got that).. she said that
"fikir adalah sifat roh dan dipanggil sbg aqal, perasaan adalah sifat roh dan dipanggil sbg hati, keinginan adalah sifat roh dan dipanggil sbg nafsu"

so how can we think logically.. how can we find aqal, hati n nafsu? huhu.. itu la sbb nye kite tak boleh fikir terlalu dlm n terlalu curious.."curiosity kills the cat!"

“... if we do discover a complete theory, it should in time be understandable in broad principle by everyone, not just a few scientists. Then we shall all, philosophers, scientists, and just ordinary people, be able to take part in the discussion of the question of why it is that we and the universe exist. If we find the answer to that, it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason - for then we would know the mind of God.”

as u read all his theory.. u can see that he is in searching for the purpose of life.. pity him! mayb bcoz of that, he denies the existence of God.. huhu

" Allah tidak sekali-kali akan membiarkan orang-orang yang beriman dalam keadaan yang kamu ada sekarang (bercampur aduk mukmin dan munafik, bahkan Dia tetap menguji kamu) sehingga Dia memisahkan yang buruk (munafik) daripada yang baik (beriman) dan Allah tidak sekali-kali akan memperlihatkan kepada kamu perkara-perkara yang ghaib akan tetapi Allah memilih dari RasulNya sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya (untuk memperlihatkan kepadanya perkara-perkara yang Ghaib). Oleh itu berimanlah kamu kepada Allah dan Rasul-rasulNya dan jika kamu beriman dan bertakwa, maka kamu akan beroleh pahala yang besar." (3:179)

hoho~ PDC 2

assalamualaikum wrt..

alhamdulillah.. i dont know bout other ppl but for me.. the prog is a success.. altho i'm really tired rite now n going to in deep sleep after this.. but iA another step for me.. ya Allah plz show me the right path and guide me.. without U i'm nobody..
i'm still learning.. my emaan is still rather small.. ermm i dont think it can be measured.. huhu i always practice wut i believe.. strongly believe.. i believe that i hav to give the others wut i love most.. i've been trying to do that... ade satu cerite
as i hav to handle the lost n found department.. i dont hav time to grab some food served.. i noticed that there're some left.. huhu.. i asked around that if there's anyone that stillhavnt eat their lunch.. n there's none.. huhu i'm willing to give them mine if the food is still not enuf.. its only natural when it's under ur nose rite? huhu.. but after a while.. the food is gone.. then when i looked around i saw a few of my frenz were eating the food.. so i felt a bit guilty coz they hav to eat so late at that time.. i asked them.. but they said that they ate already.. that's their second round.. huhu so i said to them that i still havnt eat anything.. but somewhere in my heart.. i felt a bit disappointment.. huhu i hate that feeling.. i said that i 'm willing to give wut i love to others.. but it's juz food..:(( i know that my emaan is still baby.. and i hope it's growing.. huhu
wokehs la.. hav to do something.. jazakumullahu khairan to all yg bertungkus lumus n bersama2 saye/kami menjayekan prog ini..
wassalam wrt..

mujahid~

assalamualaikum wrt.. alhamdulillah mujahid sehat~ kak mum in happy mode *twink*twink*


sayang mujahid~

risau~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

this evening i'm going to birmingham.. leaving kak mum behind.. naseb baik ade kak aida.. n inayah's sis also will b staying ere till wednesday.. so hopefully someone's there if anything happen..
i'm waiting for kak mum.. she's praying rite now.. her appointment to get the baby scanned is at 3 pm.. so iA i'll wit her.. also wit a few sisters.. huhu amat lah bimbang sgt skrg.. plz make du'a for kak mum and mujahid.. the baby's still 32 weeks old but still looked rather small..
hukhuk.. wokeh la got to go now..
wassalam wrt..

si dia..

Assalamualaikum wrt...

****: sheila, saye sedih la dah jadi macam ni
saye: sume org sedih kalo dah jadi macam ni, tapi jangan sampai menyalahkan takdir lak
****: *start nangis*
saye: *tgk jek sbb x reti pujuk org nangis*
****: kekdg saye rase nak lari jejauh dr org lain.. nk idop sensorg.. xnk blaja.. xnk amik exam.. xnk sume.. huhu tp saye tahu.. tu lari name nye tu..
saye: *mata masih menatap muke *****
****: *tangisannya mula reda*
saye: serius nk ckp, awak nangis horror la..
****: saye tau, ade org ckp cam tu
saye: pastue?
****: saye x kesah, ni la saye yg sbenarnye. Horror sgt ke?
saye: agak lah.. saye x pnah tgk org sebesar awak ni nangis cam tu skali
****: *dah mule tersenyum sbb di'puji'
saye: awak tau x nape org ckp cam tu.. org ckp cam tu bukan saje2 tau
****: nape?
saye: org ckp cam tu sbb org tu x thn tgk awak nangis
****: *tgk saye dgn muke pelik*
saye: ye la.. sbb rase sakit tgk awak nangis cam tu

--------------------------------------------------------------

kalau org ckp sorg tu nangis lawa.. mknenye dier suke tgk org tu nangis..(apekah?)

wassalam wrt..

salam wrt..

Sir George Bernard Show 'The Genuine Islam' - Vol. 1 No.8 1926

"If any religion had the chance of ruling over England, nay Europe within the next hundred years, it could be Islam"

wassalam

penat~

Assalalamualaikum wrt..

first and foremost.. anything that i write here is fillah.. bukn nk komplain.. bukn nk menyebarkan fitnah(mksd fitnah dlm bahase arab ek.. bukn melayu) kdg2 org salah anggap psl tulih blog ni.. x salah kan.. yg salah adalah bile kite menimbulkan fitnah atau pun terlalu taksub (sama ada pemikiran atau pun masa)

yesterday.. kak mum cerite kat saye.. ade a few adek2 dtg umah mase hari sabtu.. saye x dek coz g jumpe kwn.. from her story.. i really can understand how they feel.. kak mum adalah seorang yg baik.. sgt frenly.. letak jek sesape sure kak mum buleh masuk ngan org tu.. saye bukn berniat nk mengagung2 kan kak mum.. tapi itulah yg saye respect ngan kak mum.. sbb itulah antare ciri2 yg saye xdek.. kalo letak saye ngan sesape yg ntah dari mane.. kompem x bertegur sape.. lebey kurg ngan org melayu.. letak la sorg bdk melayu (pompuan la) mungkin la saye tegur or dier tegur.. tapi x kan sampai tahap kak mum nyer.. from the first meeting dier buleh berborak cam dah lame knal n org tu buleh comfortable ngan kak mum.. same as me mase saye first year..
kite as muslim kenelah apabila org tgk kite.. akan mengingatkan org itu pd islam.. (?) mmg la kalo locals kat sini sure la bile diorg tgk kite.. first thing adalah islam yg iorg pk.. kalaulah org tu berjaye mengingatkan kite pd islam (tanpa org tu bukak mulut.. or belum pun org tu buat ape2) mknenye org tu mmg berjaye menyampaikan ape yg septtnye disampaikan.. saye nk jadi org mcm tu.. tp saye x nk la lepas ni korg tgk saye pastue terigt entry saye pastue terigt islam.. tu bukn niat saye or tu bukn ape yg saye nak.. saye x nk la amik shortcut cam tu.. mmg la in the end org tu akan terigt pd islam.. tp tu x kan tahan lame.. kalo saye tulih psl mende lain.. dier akan terigt psl mende tu pulak kan? huhu.. manusia ni mudah lupa.. so sentiase la ingat mengingati.. walau dgn sesiapa pun.. that's the best thing to do kan..

jumpe lagi kat next entry..see u when i see u..

wassalam wrt..

apekah

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i love my frens.. y? ermmm coz...(?) nape ek? ntah la.. i cant find the real reason.. i love them.. fillah.. so much that i dont wanna find any substitute.. my family jenis yg x cakap kalo sayang kat someone.. our actions determine how much we love someone.. tapi mayb sbb pengaruh kengkwn sekeliling saye nie.. i started to say such words.. everyday.. someone said to me before.. those words can b ur gud luck.. of course we dont believe such thing but kan Allah SWT pernah cakap dalam al-Quran.. yg kite kene la sayang saudara kite seperti kite sayang diri kite sendiri.. hehe..

aku berteleku seketika
langit membawa berita
gerimis bakal berkunjung

hatiku sayu
sedu menahan sebak
inikah yang akan kuterima?
inikah balasannya?
inikah keputusanNya?
inikah pengakhirannya?

ya Allah
teguhkanlah hati-hati ini
satukanlah hati-hati ini
sesungguhnya kami
rindukan redhaMu..

wassalam

Nothing to offer

one by one
falling thru ur cheek
ur eyes
looking at me

i hav nothing
nothing to offer

i dont hav money
but i hav shoulder
for u to cry on

i dont hav car
but i hav hand
to reach out for u
when u fell

i dont hav status
but i hav heart
to transmit my love

please dont cry
ur tears
tearing me apart

Look into my eyes - Outlandish

learn as u're growing!

Assalamualaikum wrt..

these a few days i dont feel ok.. ermm org kate sbb perubahan cuace.. tp whether kat sini sejuk cam tu gak.. xdek tande2 nk berubah pon except u can find bunge2 kecik kat padang2.. hehe so cute~

a couple of weeks ago.. i watched a reality tv show.. well yg educated la.. its not like akademi fantasia.. the show investigates how u should watch over children's food.. that time they proved that if u restricted certain food to ur children.. they will b more interested in that food.. for example in ur house ur mom keep well chocs n sweets.. ur mom said that u can only eat certain amount of them per day.. in the show.. an experiment was carried out for a bout a week or 10 days..(i cant remember) in the experiment dier gune 2 bende.. satu raisins and another one is mango yg dah dikeringkan(i forgot wut's called).. at first (dier gune sample kanak2 kat nursery) diorg suke 2-2 same rate.. but after the experiment was carried out.. they like raisins more than the mango.. sbb raisins hanye buleh makan at restricted time.. but the mango buleh all the time.. then they make a conclusion.. if u wanna restrict ur children in something.. it's better kalo x dek langsung.. huhu
it's the same thing with other things than food.. such as tv.. tv? huhu ermmm camne ek? huhu buleh ke? hmmm
wassalam wrt

Why i became a muslim?

As for Islam Awareness Week, i went to the second talk this evening.. n i really interested in the topic.. pierced thru my heart and numbed my head.. i always had a this kind of thought in my head.. that one day ppl will get the hidayah.. but i forgot that it's our responsibility.. it's our job to make sure everyone of them reaches that point.. and after we do our best.. it's all in qadar/fate..

there're 4 speakers.. 3 brothers and a sister.. the sister is jus reverted to islam about 3 months a go.. she's from Italy and been staying ere for about 4 years.. from brothers side.. 2 of them are Niger and another one is british.. among the brothers yg saye plaing respect adalah yg british tu.. he reverted to islam 4 years a go and after he became a muslim he went to study in egypt.. n wow! that's a great turn in his life.. when he recites the ayaah.. it's like he understand every bit of them and it amazes me.. he's still in his Manchester slang.. n the way he explains things is really interesting.. coz he went thru wut non-muslims go thru.. also the others..
there's a similar pattern in their past life.. it proves 'hadith logam'.. i cant find the exact sentence but it sounds like this..:"manusia itu seperti logam. Jika dia hebat ketika jahiliyyahnya, maka dia akan hebat ketika Islamnya, sekiranya dia faham"

there was one analogy that i really interested in.. after we understand wut islam is all about.. it's like we are in highway.. we look to the other side.. it's jammed, there're accidents, ppl in panic, ppl in pain etc etc.. but ppl keep going to the same direction coz they dont know about the accident.. it's really open up our eyes n our mind.. we clearly know where we are going n we clearly know wut we should do..

one of the speakers said to us(muslims in the hall) that the number of non-muslims is showing that we're not doing our work.. the fact that the quantity of muslims is greater than the number of non-muslims proves that we're not progressing.. one question was asked.. wut is the best method of da'wahif we want to spread the islam to the ppl around us.. considering that we hav many non-muslims frens.. he said our akhlaq.

wassalam wrt..

the purpose of life~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i went to a talk sempena Islamic Awareness Week yesterday(monday).. the speaker is a Niger and reverted to Islam when he was young.. i thot the talk will bout the topic and a bit more in approaching non-muslims.. but mayb bcoz of most of the audiences are muslims.. he seems to focus more on muslims.. so i'm a bit disappointed.. huhu..

since he was young till now.. he said he is still treated differently bcoz of his race and sebab tu lah dier agak tekan kan sket la psl isu racism ni.. he said that the racism thing was started by Satan.. when the Satan said something about race when Allah asked Satan to give respect to Adam.. so y we're following Satan altho we said Satan is our enemy? huhu.. it was my first time hearing things like that..

he told us one story tht i've nvr heard.. i'm not sure where he took the story.. one man did all the good deeds, prays and a very good 'muslim' for about 60 years.. then one day he committed a sin - zina(adultery) for a bout 6 days.. pastue dier insaf and for 3 days dier dok kat dlm masjid.. he did nothing but on the third day he had a bread roll.. he divided the bread into 2.. one he gave it to the person on his right n one to his left.. then ditakdirkan oleh Allah SWT.. he died.. bile mase Hari Perhitungan.. the 6 days he committed zina is heavier than the 60 years he did the ibadah.. but bile timbang ngan bread roll tu.. bread roll is heavier..

~kite bukan selalu g usrah.. ermm mayb skrg kite x join pun usrah.. so y not we support who're striving to make ppl around us understand bout Islam by attend their lecture.. well if u feel that ilmu islam kat dada dah cukup(nauzubillah).. that's the least thing we can do rite? we can spend our time go to cinema.. we mark our calendar on the valentine's day.. so y not we do the same thing to the islamic talk? it's worth ur time, i'm not going to say trust me.. but trust Allah k~

IPK aka PDC macam2~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

bertemu lagi kite di meja blogger yg amat sket ilmu/pengalaman yg nk dikongsi.. hehe.. my parents bukn jenis yg mengatakn sayang dan kasihnya pd kami, anak2nya.. so bcoz of that i dont know how to express my feelings to other ppl/frens.. my mom( we call her mama..:p) kuat gak ar membebell. thats y saye pon turut la mewarisi tahap kronik kebebelannya itu.. haha well mama suka buat sesuatu as an act to show her gratitude to us.. ermm cnthnye.. mase summer ari tu saye balik umah for the first time after saye dtg oversea.. saye skrg suke pakai baju kurung.. baju punjab(jubah seluar).. baju sampai lutut.. baju cotton.. dress yg 2 lapis.. i've never say a word bout my dressing, bout i want this or i want that kind of baju.. or stuff like that.. but after a few days saye balik umah.. (she's still working as a teacher n my father dah pencen..hehe skrg hobby dier tanam pokok keliling umah.. sbb tu la bilek saye byk pokok..:D) one day my mom balik2 umah dr keje ngan satu beg plastic kat tgn.. tertibe dier hulur kat saye ngan sengih2.. (huhu i miss that smile..) saye cam terkejut ar sbb x sangke kan.. well selain baju kurung.. parents saye dah lame x belikan baju... huhu bile saye bukak tu dapatla baju jubah seluar 2 psg.. yg saye suke giler kaler dier.. huhu..

ok ok dah.. udah.. saye baru knal ngan sorg postgrad ni..her name is mkck Ummi Kalthom.. yesterday we had a circle wit k asyif.. at that time.. cik Ummi came to our house.. coz dier boring dok sorg2 kat umah.. xdek org kat umah.. so she asked to join the circle.. of course la buleh.. among a few topics yg kitorg diskas ade la psl yg nape org yg dah lalai or dah terpesong dr jln Allah SWT yg sbenar.. kite tgk diorg hidup sng n kaye raye.. ermm kitorg tau la yg sure la diorg dah x dihiraukan oleh Allah SWT.. tu yg diorg x dek dugaan.. pastue Cik Ummi pon cite la.. dier pnah dgr sorg ustaz ni ckp.. analogy bg kes tu.. cam sorg mak yg tgh buat keje pastue ade la anak dier dtg kacau.. mak dier ni malas nk layan... so mak dier pon kasi la duit suruh g beli aiskrim or g main jauh2..
it struck me really hard.. coz saye x pnah terfikir analogy cam tu kan.. sedey kan kalo jadi cam tu.. coz mknenye bdk tu dah xdek nilai di mate mak dier.. sbb ye la.. dier g kaco mak dier sbb nk perhatian mak dier kan.. tp sbb dah x dek nilai mak dier x perhatikan or x layan ar.. saye bukn nk kate yg org yg lalai tu g ngadu kat Allah SWT tp Allah SWT x layan.. bukan!!! tp nak kate tu la perumpamaan.. sedey kan? n saye bukn nk kate org kaye tu sume nye lalai.. bukan.. harta tu adalah satu dugaan gak.. tp org yg makin kaye n gune harte tu ke arah keduniaan jugak.. tu la yg Allah SWT malas nk layan dah tu.. tp iA kalo org yg dah tak dihiraukan tu.. kalo kembali pd jln sbenar.. Allah SWT seluas2 nya bukak pintu rahmatNya kan.. analogy nye.. spt seorg pemilik unta betine yg dpt balik untanya yg ilang.. unta kan pd zaman dulu sgt berharge.. tmbh2 lak unte betine.. bleh dpt susu.. nnt dpt anak ramai.. cam ferrari ar zaman skrg.. (ermm mcm ku dgr ayat nie.. hehe) kalo dah hilang tu mesti la g cari kan.. unta mane ade aqal kan.. so kat padang pasir tu kalo dah ilang tu kompem la sesat.. x kan la unte tu ade sesungut cam semut buleh carik jln balik.. so bile pemilik unte tu dah give up.. dier bersandar la kat pokok.. give up kan.. dah la panas.. tau kan camne perasaan give up pd mende yg sgt berharge.. tertibe dr kejauhan dier ternampak unte dier tu berjalan menuju ke arah nye.. dgn sendirinye.. suke x pemilik tu? mesti ar suke giler.. huhu.. mase tu saye pk huiyooo.. kalo la mende yg saye paling syg ilang pastue dtg balik.. tang tang tu gak la g bungkus elok2 mende tu kan.. simpan tmpt yg selamat.. supaye x ilang..kalo nk dibandingkan gembire Allah SWT lagi berbanding pemilik unte tu kalo kite kembali pdNya.. analogy saje tu.. huhu.. wokeh la.. dah pnjg dah ni.. sbenarnye saye nk tulih psl IPK or PDC yg baru selesai td.. tp x pe la.. hehe dakwat pen dah kering

wassalam wrt... uhibukunna fillah~

Miracle in the womb

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i watched tv juz now.. and ditakdirkan at that time ade rancangan miracle in the womb.. the program is about pregnancy and twins.. how the twins survive in the womb comparing to a single baby.. me n k mum wanted to watch this prog for so long.. hehe but poor k mum.. she had circle at that time..
it's very interesting.. u should watch it.. i mean when i hav the chance.. there're a lots of new things i get from it.. antarenye i juz knew that after 27 pregnancy the fetus can open its eyes n sees the surrounding.. well it never struck me b4.. i juz cant imagine how it's like to juz see that only sight for more than 10 weeks.. well i'm sure that baby will nvr get bored of it.. well yeah.. it can nvr imagine wut's life after it gets out..
in the prog it shows a lots of things bout twins.. there're also triplet n quad.. (i'm not sure whether i'm using the right term..:p) hav u observed one of the child among the twins.. when they hav a fight amng those two.. one of them will go to his/her bed n lays his/her head down on the pillow.. they said that in the womb it's also like that.. they will get comfortable when they lay down on the placenta..
actually i hav things to complain today... but bcoz i watched the prog TODAY so i'll write bout those things 2morrow.. well things like how ppl in Malaysia try to realize their ideal nation.. how ppl try to fight for their justice while it's not the case for others.. lots of things that play wit ur common sense..

(3:61) Kemudian sesiapa yang membantahmu (wahai Muhammad) mengenainya, sesudah engkau beroleh pengetahuan yang benar, maka katakanlah kepada mereka: Marilah kita menyeru anak-anak kami serta anak-anak kamu dan perempuan-perempuan kami serta perempuan-perempuan kamu dan diri kami serta diri kamu, kemudian kita memohon kepada Allah dengan bersungguh-sungguh, serta kita meminta supaya laknat Allah ditimpakan kepada orang-orang yang berdusta.

The People of the Boxes - Dawud Warnsby Ali

There were once some people who all saw their lives like empty boxes.
They looked all around the world, collecting up the things they liked.
They filled their lives and empty boxes with the goodies that they gathered
And they all felt in control, content, and they all felt alright.
Then they climbed inside their boxes and they settled with their trinkets.
They neither looked, nor learned much more and closed their lids up tight.
Once they’d fastened up their boxes they smiled there inside,
and they all thought in their darkness that the world was clear and bright.
But the world is not a box.
There’s no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks,
and everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks
is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of mankind.
It's a piece of the peace of Islam.

Along came a wondering wise man whispering such words of truth,
who stumbled on these boxes, so separate side by side.
He knocked upon the first one saying, “Please come out and feel the day.”
An answer came from deep within, “You’re not of us please go away.”
He approached the second box and tapped thrice on the lid saying,
“Peace to you inside, shall I show you a new way?”
Someone peeked out from a crack and said, “You may just have a point,
but it’s so comfy in my box, in my box here I will stay.”
But the world is not a box.
There’s no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks,
and everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks
is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of mankind.
It's a piece of the peace of Islam.

He stood before the final box, a hiding face peeked out to him,
and much to his surprise, he said “I recognize those eyes!
I see you and you see me so why not come out and be free?
Faith and flowers wilt and die if they are hidden from the sky!
`Cause the world is not a box.
There’s no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks,
and everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks
is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of mankind.
It's a piece of the peace of Islam.”

Now centuries lie between all the prophets and you and I.
Civilizations are born and die each and every day.
We see good and bad and happy-sad and mad mistakes
we wish we hadn’t made in our attempt to try and live up to their way.
But if we hide ourselves away, afraid to grow and learn,
we might wake up in the flames of the ignorance that burns,
and we’ll never be much more than only casualties of war
in a struggle we can’t win if we have no faith to begin.
We’ve got to tip the lid and let some sunlight in,
`Cause the world is not a box.
There’s no lid, no doors, no cardboard flaps or locks,
and everything in nature from the clouds to the rocks
is a piece of the puzzle of the purpose of mankind.
It's a piece of the peace of Islam

my heart is aching~

assalamualaikum wrt..

i hav a fren.. i can say a quite close fren.. we always exchange mail n msg.. n of course to the extent she tell me her problems.. of course i can only comfort her n give her words of encouragement.. i did n do wut i can for her.. but bcoz of certain circumstances... those are still not enuf.. (i think she'll read this.. hehe sori ek.. but this is wut i feel~)

recently her problems increase.. she havnt solve her old problems but the new ones keep on rise.. i really love her n it hurts me seeing her like that.. struggling wit the problems.. yeah! i know everyone has their own problems.. n also a quite amount of it.. but bcoz of the one i care so much.. that's y i dont want to give others trouble.. yeah~ of course all of us dont wanna give others trouble by being hard to handle but it's juz bcoz everyone is different.. i hav such feeling till i become someone who's almost 'ok' wit everything.. that's y when u ask me to decide one something such as where to eat, where to stay, when to eat (such daily things or such small things) u'll hear me say ' i dont care' or it's up to u'.. it's not that i juz follow the others trend or something like that.. but bcoz i'm really 'ok' wit it..

ermm berbalik pd kwn saye td.. this morning i received a msg from her.. she's facing a few probs that connected (like food-chain..:p) she told me her probs n wut she feels about them.. but in the middle of that.. she had to stop.. bcoz of a new prob.. waaaa :( everytime i recall that.. my heart aches.. i feel like i wanna fly like superwoman to go to her.. i wanna hold her hand.. (xleh describe more.. jadik pelik haha) but that's fren for u rite? so dont hurt ur fren.. n dot get hurt over something trivial.. that's when Satan will whisper to ur heart.. huhu

got to go now.. wut do u think of that? can we live without frens? our mouth will say 'no, we cant'!! but will our body plus our mind say the same thing? time to muhasabah ourselves..

wassalam wrt..

brighter day..

one day..
walking through another hard day
every step i take
heavier as ever

i look up to the sky
it is such a dark day..
i lose all the energy
to take another step forward..

u reach out ur hand
u smile for me
u wait till i stand up

suddenly
my legs feel lighter
the sky look so blue

it is just another bright day..

I Only Ask of God - Outlandish

kite baik ke jahat?

Assalamualaikum wrt..

i juz got back from leamington 5 juz now.. while on my way back.. i'm thinking bout wut ain said to me.. huhu i joined k jah n am's circle.. it's not my circle.. so ain said i'm a good person..(ermm kalo tulih dlm bashe inggeris.. hilang feel dier.. dier kate "waa.. baiknye sheila.." something like that..) it's not that i want to justify everything i did or do.. it's juz every single step that u take.. u hav reasons for it rite? i feel i'm not good enuf.. i feel that i really need to be reminded all the time.. that's y i choose to stay wit someone next yr.. but when someone said that sentence to me.. sometimes tergugat gak la.. our real intention will mixed up.. n sometimes will lost our way.. huhu i dont want that.. so plz dont praise me.. i dont deserve that.. i dont need that..

y ppl praise others? coz they only want to express their feelings clearly to others? or juz sbb nk amik hati org tu? sejauh manekah keikhlasan hati kite? same tinggikah keikhlasan hati kite spt Bilal yg suaranye dpt dinikmati oleh malaikat2? huhu..

"ketahuilah pada setiap jasad itu seketul daging. Andainya ia baik, baiklah seluruh jasad itu dan sekiranya ia rosak maka rosaklah seluruh jasad itu. Itulah hati"

wassalam

masa makin berkurang, kerja makin bertambah

assalamualaikum wrt..

i'm making 2 posts today..

i read an article in Berita Harian juz now..u can read it ere n this is only my opinion.. no influence from other source or any party..
"Sebenarnya, jihad mempertahankan negara boleh dilihat dalam pelbagai sudut. Setiap Muslim boleh digelar pejuang asalkan melakukan sesuatu usaha untuk kebaikan negara. Sesuatu yang dilakukan dengan satu semangat yang kental dan ikhlas adalah satu jihad."

In the article, it said that we 'wajib' defending our country.. it makes me think.. who put us in that situation? i mean other than Allah SWT, who else can say we 'wajib' or 'haram' or 'harus' etc etc.. siape kite nk menjatuhkan hukum ke atas sesuatu.. i know ade berbagai care nk menjatuhkan hukum.. cam ijma' ulamak.. gune maqasid n stuff.. tp cube bygkan we live in US (i mean as US citizens) so kite wajib la memperthnkan US? altho they send their army to palestine? altho they help Israel? *sigh*
ade juge hukum hakam yg ditentukan oleh pemerintah.. tp kalo pemerintah yg x berlandaskan hukum yg Allah tetapkan? perlukah kite? saye tau saye jahil tp i'm learning n i'm responding..
wut i cant agree with the author is dier kate untuk kebaikan negare.. kalo lah dier berani nk mengishtiharkan negare yg wajib diperthnkan tu negare Islam.. iA anytime i'll be willing to go to jihad.. n as the author said jihad x semestinye berperang.. huh tertibe saye rase sgt emotional.. yup i'm very emotional in this matter.. coz ni lah lembah ternakan saye.. padang tanaman saye.. ni lah saham saye.. kalo saye salah.. i'm willing to take any comment/correction or anything.. but something has to be done..

hehe wokeh la.. got work to do.. wassalam

merengek saje~

Assalamualaikum wrt..

hehe.. dlm previous entry.. nmpk kan saye bengang giler.. hehe x dek ape2 tu.. saye dah ok dah.. sometimes bile saye x rase marah i tell myself to suppress my anger kalo saye marah.. kan kite tau marah tu adalah salah satu care syaitan nk membisik dlm hati kite.. syaitan tunggu peluang nk bisik kat hati kite.. so i always tell myself.. i should be composed n calm down.. tp bile saye dlm keadaan marah or bengang.. i forget all that.. it's juz i know but i cant.. huhu.. ni la bukti lemahnye kite as manusia kan.. hati kite.. kite x semestinye dpt control..

last nite yana came to our house.. yana selalu gak ar bace blog saye.. so dier tau ar psl entry yg saye tgh marah2 tu.. yana xtau org umah ni x bace blog saye.. pastue mase tgh borak2 tu terkantoi ar.. ape lagi.. lepas tu k asyif bace ar (dier jumpe blog saye dr yana nye blog..cehh) pastue k mum lak bace.. (pengaruh k asyif) pastue k zai.. ermm lepas tu sume org tau!!! waaaaaaaa... saye tulih sume tu sbb saye tau org umah ni mmg x bace blog.. waaaa huhuhuhuhuuu.. i didnt mean that.. ye la... mmg la saye yg tulih tp saye kan dlm keadaan marah.. the next day lepas saye marah tu saye dah ok balik dah.. bile saye pk balik saye rase nyesal la.. but at that time i didnt know wut to do.. i didnt know how to calm down.. i'm not sure whether this is hadith or not.. yg kate kalo kamu berdiri ketike tgh marah, make duduk lah.. n so on.. so dah byk kali saye duduk.. siap tido lagi bile duduk x berjaye.. i took a shower.. i pray.. (ermm mayb doa saye x termakbul mase tu :((..)

saye xtau ape org lain pk mase bace blog saye tu.. but i believe ppl around me know me better.. hehe nway thnx to every1.. my housemates yg bace blog saye tu.. gave me hugz.. comfort me n stuffs tp mase tu saye dah ok.. dah terlebih ok dah.. hehe nway jzkk

well this is juz curahan hati saye yg x seberape nie.. saye xdek la baik sgt.. saye x dek la best pon dibawak berkwn.. so terime lah saye seade nye.. iA saye akan terime org lain seadenye..

wassalam

sometimes wut u give, u wont get it back~

assalamualaikum wrt..

wut will i write below is juz for my satisfaction n tidak ditujukan kpd mane2 pihak.. so dont misunderstand or making assumption..
saye penat.. balik ke rumah to get some rest.. mase mule2 masuk umah rase best coz my stuff arrived earlier... so i took my stuff n went upstairs to my room.. waaa cant wait to reach my sweet room.. i reached at my door.. the door was opened.. i had a bad feeling bout that.. so i opened my room.. i was speechless.. this is not how i left my room 2 days ago.. ade a few selimut on my bed.. a few pillows that r not supposed to be there.. alas carpet dilipat pdhal septtnye terbentang kat atas carpet.. ade a few sampah n carpet kotor.. perfume bilek x dipasang.. tingkap tak dibukak.. heater terpasang.. my cd jatuh.. ade org gune shampoo (kitorg stuju x share) n byk lagi kalo saye nk buat list.. bukn saye saje nk carik salah tp nie lah dugaan.. Allah akan duga kite ngan apa yg paling kite care.. all the stuff tu ok lagi.. tp bile saye tgk comp saye switched off~ saye dah sampai x leh layan k zai.. biasenye saye akan berborak biase tp saye senyap jek.. i cant say any words coz it will explodes me.. boleh kalo nk gune bilek saye.. tp tinggalkan brg saye yg digunekan tu dlm keadaan asal.. bile saye switched on balik my comp.. there's something wrong wit my comp.. lagi la saye (.....) internet connection teruk giler.. n i hav to restarted my comp TWICE!!..
pokok2 kat bilek saye layu.. sbb x bukak tingkap n sbb bukak heater.. bile saye g toilet.. ade alas kaki yg tgh dijemur tp heater x bukak lak.. tingkap x bukak lak.. camne nk kering kalo cam tu..

i took a shower to cool my head down.. n when k asyif opened the door without knocked it first, i juz blew up! sorry k asyif.. kalo saye ckp ngan sesape skrg nie saye akan tension..

i'll pray after this.. i dont hav anyone but Allah~

What is rest-time?

Assalamualaikum wrt..

Setelah sekian lame.. barulah dapat update blog.. hehehe~ well it's not that i dont hav any to write about.. but coz too much things happened that i dont know wut should i write.. hahha such an obvious reason..
i read inayah's blog juz now.. well ermm more to- updating myself bout my frens.. hahah jahat kan saye.. bile ade mase free baru la nk amik tau psl kwn sekeliling.. keh keh keh.. dlm blog inayah tu.. she wrote something bout a blog that she used to read.. one thing came to my mind.. hafizbar's blog!! so i open the blog.. ermm the latest entry ;-

"adakah anda di luar sana peka, bahawa salah satu iklan yg rasa2 lucu kat dlm TV skarang (org pakai sut kuning mcm bodoh) menggunakan lagu GEREJA dalam iklan tersebut... Iklan tersebut telah mempengaruhi masyarakat kita dengan menyanyikan lagu tersebut secara tidak sedar kerana cuba mengikut rentak lagu GEREJA tersebut... dipetik " KU KAN MENGIKUT MU, KEMANA SAJA KAU PERGI" or dlm bahasa INGGERIS "I'm gonna follow him" "HIM" merujuk kepada ISA @ JESUS... Hal ini sedikit sebanyak telah memesongkan akidah umat Islam secara halus melalui pengaruh Iklan dan lagu tersebut.. Ramai yang tidak sedar akan hal ini dan mengatakan iklan tersebut best atau pun lucu... tapi sebenarnya itulah stategi org kafir utk mhancurkan agama ISLAM... semoga kita sedar dan dpt menghindari hal ini secara lebih tegas!"

hmm.. i havnt seen the adv.. but one thing i can say.. lemah sgt kah iman muslims kat malaysia sampai sebegitu sekali.. satu hal kalo btol la mende tu terjadi n kalo btol la itu realitinye.. kite xdek mase rehat pon.. satu hal lagi i heard bout the holy water tu.. but from source that i really trust.. it's juz rumour n really ridiculous.. so x kan la mende tu akan effect our iman? helooo!!! hina sgtkah iman kite sampai buleh dipermainkan sebegitu sekali.. cehh.. it's juz the same thing bout rumours yg 'akum' tu..

i know it's not my place to comment something that i even havnt seen it yet.. tp mende2 macam nie kan kite x leh lepas pndg.. iA we'll 2gether go thru this thing n Allah is always wit us.. juz pray n run towards the red-line k!! hehe wassalam

one of my worst days!!

18/01/07 - this is actually the entry for 18/01 but that day i was too depressed to write it up in this blog.. so i juz wrote it in notepad n save it... soo troublesome to edit it into the rite date so i juz leave it like this.. huhu~

2day was a bad day.. my 'last-hope' paper ruined!! almost got blow away in the middle of road.. lost my QnA paper in the middle of road.. got laughed at coz of that n coz of had to hide myself among cars in the middle of 'ribut taufan'.. almost missed the paper that i had to take 2day.. really hungry so bad that had to cook maggi coz cant wait for nasik to be properly cooked.. internet connection really slow coz of the 'ribut taufan'.. downloaded wrong file plus a big file n hard to download.. feel so down coz of that.. comp so slow coz edit a video for youtube.. but when i opened the youtube page(my account) it has been suspended.. so i lost all my video inside youtube.. cursed youtube n swear that wont create another account(well i'm sure i can do that or not..) need to study for 2morrow paper but feel so sleepy rite now.. open my blog-site but cant log in..(always like that) open ym.. got sooo many offline msg.. wanted to online but dont wish to b disturb so i just logged out back.. feel sooo pathetic rite now.. i just wanna live happily~ T-T

Renungan Hamba - Missile

Selalu ku sesali dosa
dan selalu ku ulang kembali
dan Kau masih memberi kebahagiaan
ku bukan hamba pilihan

Allah berfirman
"Wahai manusia!
Aku hairan pada orang yakin akan kematian
tapi dia hidup bersuka ria
Aku hairan pada orang yang yakin akan
pertanggungjawaban segala amal perbuatan di akhirat
tapi dia asyik mengumpul dan mengumpul harta benda

Aku hairan pada orang yang yakin kubur tapi dia tertawa terbahak-bahak

Aku hairan pd org yg yakin akan adanya alam akhirat tapi dia menjalani kehidupan dgn bersantai2
Aku hairan pada org yg yakin akan kehancuran dunia tapi ia menggantunginya
Aku hairan pada intellectual yang bodoh pada soal moral


Aku hairan pada org yg bersuci dgn air sementara hatinya masih tetap kotor
Aku hairan pada org yg sibuk mencari cacat dan aib org lain sementara ia tidak sedar sama sekali cacat yang pada dirinya sendiri
Aku hairan pada org yg yakin bhw Allah senantiasa mengawasi segala perilaku nya tapi ia berbuat durjana
Aku hairan pada org yg sedar akan kematiannya kemudian akan tinggal dalam kubur seorg diri
lalu..."

pastue saye dgr satu perkataan yg saye x paham.. then i stopped.. give up!!! i repeated a few times in order to get wut the word is.. huhu.. i understand but i cant write it in my own words.. x original la..

bile saye jumpe lirik dier yg sbenar... i'll post it ere k!!

wslm

Do we hav any say?

Surat untuk mama

Assalamualaikum wrt..

Mama ape khabar? sihat? ermm kakla (refer to me laaa...) x bape sihat skrg nie.. ade batuk2 sket.. sori lame x call.. kerja harian membantutkan niat di hati agar sentiasa berhubung..
i didnt tell u in the phone last time, *cough* *cough* tapi batuk nie dah berpanjangan selama beberapa hari dah.. i juz dont wanna make things complicated.. as u know my body is quite strong.. saye jarang demam n bleh dikatekan kuat gak la.. berbndg other girls.. remember that time u complimented me on how strong i am when i could carry those big pots in front of our house.. do u know how happy i am when u acknowledged me like that.. mase tu saye fikir saye buleh senangkan dan gembirekan mama so that u can work happily..
*cough* do u know y i suddenly write this letter to u? coz i know u rn't going to read this letter... n coz i really miss u but i cant say those words.. setiap kali saye batuk saye terigt mama.. kenape ek? saye terigt waktu mama excited bile juz 2 of us were going to buy some stuffs for me.. at first i didnt know how much that moment really meant to u.. till i saw u happily choosing stuffs for me.. u nvr stop smiling.. till u forget papa was waiting for us in the car.. when i recalled that moment.. my heart aches~ i cant stop my tears from flowing..
mama, i think i'm juz like u.. we cant nvr express our feeling by words.. but i understand.. ermm mayb juz a lil' of ur feeling.. by watching u everyday when i hav that chance.. kakla xtau nape but i feel i would do anything juz to make u smile in the end.. kadang2 ur children(i dont know how to address them *lol*) says that i'm ur n papa's golden daughter.. n do u know y they didnt mean it in bad way? sbb mama looks so innocent when u want to cherish me.. mama x pnah ckp mama sayang kakla n mama x pnah ckp mama rindu kakla tapi the feeling u give me is more than enuf.. dan kakla harap kakla dapat emit those feeling to u so that my feeling conveyed to u.. u feel that rite?
i'm bad with words but i'm good with comp so i'll write it in this blog.. kakla sayang sgt kat mama, kakla sentiasa doakan kesejahteraan mama di dunia n di akhirat n moge dgn kasih sayang yang kakla berikan ni cukup menceriakan hati dan meringankan beban di bahu mama.. i cant do much for u but this is wut i really wanna give u.. even thou u give me so much till today, i cant nvr repay back to u.. iA i'll make du'a to Allah SWT so that He will give u the greatest repayment iA..
wassalam*sob* *sob*